first time & do's and dont's

Sunshine14343 Sunshine14343
So, my boyfriend wants to try anal play, as do i, and i was curious to know your first experience and any suggestions on what to do and not to do.
05/30/2010
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~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine14343
So, my boyfriend wants to try anal play, as do i, and i was curious to know your first experience and any suggestions on what to do and not to do.
DO take your time
DON'T forget to use lube, I recommend actually using ANAL lubricant
DON'T do it without warm up
DO use a condom if you are afraid of messiness
DO breathe, you need to relax
DON'T force it
05/30/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
DON'T put it in the ass and then in the vagina without cleaning.
DON'T keep going if you start bleeding
05/31/2010
kck kck
Remember to be gentle; let him work his way in first. Once you are comfortable (and well lubricated), then you can take it more heavily.
Don't hesitate to ask him to slow down or to pull out a bit.

Gentleness truly is key.

Enjoy
05/31/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
DO start with fingers and/or toys (the smaller to start the better)
DON'T be afraid to say "stop"
DON'T forget to wear your viking helmet.
05/31/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
DON'T forget to shout "Surprise!" so she knows it's coming
DO invest in some anal beads
DON'T forget to shout "BAZINGA" when you come.
05/31/2010
Crystal_Rose Crystal_Rose
A bullet is a great toy to use along with anal sex so I would recommend that. Clit stimulation for me is a must if I'm going to enjoy any type of anal play and the resulting orgasm you will have if everything goes well for you both won't be something you'll forget any time soon. lol!

Good luck
05/31/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Crystal_Rose
A bullet is a great toy to use along with anal sex so I would recommend that. Clit stimulation for me is a must if I'm going to enjoy any type of anal play and the resulting orgasm you will have if everything goes well for you both won't be ... More
I highly disagree with using a bullet. It can get lost in the anus if it doesn't have a flared base. It's not a good idea to use bullets since most of them do NOT have flared bases.
05/31/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I highly disagree with using a bullet. It can get lost in the anus if it doesn't have a flared base. It's not a good idea to use bullets since most of them do NOT have flared bases.
if you have a waterproof corded bullet...but still...
05/31/2010
Sammi Sammi
Go slow, start small, and use plenty of lube. And relax, if you can.
05/31/2010
ScotchIrish ScotchIrish
Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine14343
So, my boyfriend wants to try anal play, as do i, and i was curious to know your first experience and any suggestions on what to do and not to do.
Go to Sexis homepage and then dialup Tuesdays with Nina (Hartley). She has a great amount of experience and information. I watched it so I would know when and if I ever get the opportunity. I love the education/information that is available to everyone.
05/31/2010
Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I highly disagree with using a bullet. It can get lost in the anus if it doesn't have a flared base. It's not a good idea to use bullets since most of them do NOT have flared bases.
I think Crystal_Rose meant that she likes to use a bullet on her clit while engaging in anal play, not that she recommends using it for anal stimulation itself. I do agree that bullets are high-risk when it comes to anal play.
06/01/2010
Liz2 Liz2
All good advice above, for me clit stimulation and lots of lube are so important.
My first experience was downright painful. no lube just saliva and what seemed like brute force. This experience ruined my desire for anal but now I love it, both by myself or with a partner.
I usually masturbate with a plug in my butt, awesome...
06/01/2010
Victoria Victoria
A lot of great advice here already, and some funny suggestions too(viking helmets, and "Bazinga".

I think warming up slowly and being really turned on before trying anal penetration is most important - be relaxed, don't feel pressured and be sure to stop if it hurts. It might take a few times before it really happens, and that's ok!
06/01/2010
Crystal_Rose Crystal_Rose
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I highly disagree with using a bullet. It can get lost in the anus if it doesn't have a flared base. It's not a good idea to use bullets since most of them do NOT have flared bases.
Please re-read my post, VieuxCarre... you greatly misunderstood what I said. I am NOT suggesting the use of a bullet anally. I state quite clearly "clit stimulation" in my post. I would never, EVER suggest the use of any type of bullet anally.
06/01/2010
Sunshine14343 Sunshine14343
thanks everyone for all your advice/suggestions
06/01/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
I highly disagree with using a bullet. It can get lost in the anus if it doesn't have a flared base. It's not a good idea to use bullets since most of them do NOT have flared bases.
Tatus B-Bomb - a vibrating anal plug - is a much better choice.

Also, DO stop if it hurts. Pain usually means injury, even a small tear is not a good thing when it comes to anal sex.
06/02/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by ScotchIrish
Go to Sexis homepage and then dialup Tuesdays with Nina (Hartley). She has a great amount of experience and information. I watched it so I would know when and if I ever get the opportunity. I love the education/information that is available to ... More
Great idea!

Nina's got great advice here and here.
06/02/2010
Gary Gary
With a proper toy, you could always try some solo-play. This would help you to establish your comfort level, and to understand how your body works before attempting try anything with your partner.
06/02/2010
Annemarie Annemarie
Quote:
Originally posted by VieuxCarre
DON'T forget to shout "Surprise!" so she knows it's coming
DO invest in some anal beads
DON'T forget to shout "BAZINGA" when you come.
I need to try that last one sometime or another. That sounds hot.
06/02/2010
VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
Quote:
Originally posted by Crystal_Rose
Please re-read my post, VieuxCarre... you greatly misunderstood what I said. I am NOT suggesting the use of a bullet anally. I state quite clearly "clit stimulation" in my post. I would never, EVER suggest the use of any type of bullet anally.
I misunderstood it and wanted to clarify for others who may have misunderstood it as well. It did not read, until you posted this, like you intended.

Not to offend, just saying how I read and interpreted it.
06/02/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
DO start with fingers and/or toys (the smaller to start the better)
DON'T be afraid to say "stop"
DON'T forget to wear your viking helmet.
I am SO glad you mentioned the viking helmet...it's so VITAL! Seriously though listen to your bodies and talk to each other.
06/02/2010
Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Practice by yourself first and makes sure you're used to thrusting motions! Lots of folks just use a plug and then are startled by the feel of a penis thrusting.

Get a small dildo and work up to thrusting so you're prepared.

Also, figure out what lube you like best before trying full on anal sex. Some like thick water based, some like silicone, some like oil based. It's much easier if you know this in advance.
06/02/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
Practice by yourself first and makes sure you're used to thrusting motions! Lots of folks just use a plug and then are startled by the feel of a penis thrusting.

Get a small dildo and work up to thrusting so you're ... More
Very good advice - a stationary plug does little to prepare you for thrusting.
06/02/2010
Dirty Girl X Dirty Girl X
DO go slow.
DO use lots of lube.
DO start out small - fingers, very slender toy.
DO have maybe a glass or two of wine if it helps you relax (just enough to loosen up.)

DON'T be afraid to tell him to stop, slow down, whatever.
DON'T worry if he can't go "all the way" the first time, it might take a few tries before you can handle it.
06/04/2010
DrGraceG DrGraceG
link
Read the "Anal Sex" Section.
Just remember again that cleanliness and lubrication are the key.
06/07/2010
ScottA ScottA
I'd expand on Dirty Girl's recommendation.

Don't expect to have anal sex the first couple of times. Play around, get comfortable with anal play, learn to enjoy it, try out a few positions, and use some toys. When you're comfortable with that then it's time to try penis-anal, but again you need to both be willing to call it off.
06/07/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Sunshine14343
So, my boyfriend wants to try anal play, as do i, and i was curious to know your first experience and any suggestions on what to do and not to do.
Sunshine, when My Man and I were learning how to have anal sex we found that a few things made it not only easier for me, but VERY enjoyable.

1) LUBE LUBE LUBE LUBE. It's a given, don't try it without it. I like either Astroglide green cap (no glycerin) or Astroglide Anal Poppers.

2) I love something penetrating my vagina. DP is fantastic and feels amazing. Also, the familiar feeling of vaginal penetration makes many women feel more comfortable about starting the whole anal thing.

3) I usually have to have at least one good orgasm BEFORE we even start anal sex. It relaxes me, and gets me ready for more orgasms easily. If you are relaxed, everything is easier.

4) Go slowly. The first time we just tried penile anal penetration and not only did it hurt, but I cut it short because I just didn't like it. Also, I bled afterward (I didn't bleed the first time I had PIV sex!) and told My Man, "We won't be doing that anymore. I was bleeding." He looked disappointed, but sadly nodded and agreed if I didn't like it he wouldn't push it. Still, both of us decided we still wanted to try to make it work. (we are both VERY stubborn and usually don't give up on anything.) We figured out that GRADUALLY getting me used to something in my anus was the best route. We bought a butt plug, but I didn't like that either. So, he did what he did when he was teaching me to have PIV sex many years earlier, a lot of outer exploratory play, very shallow penetration with his finger, moving on to more than one, and eventually (after a few weeks of work) actual anal sex.
06/23/2010
P'Gell P'Gell
Damn, I forgot about the Viking helmet. Absolutely necessary.
06/23/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Damn, I forgot about the Viking helmet. Absolutely necessary.
exactly!

In a pinch though, a winter cap with ear flaps will work ONLY if the ear flaps are down.
06/23/2010
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