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At first I thought so, but if so, he's not letting on. All our bills are paid with money left over, work isn't a problem...and some of the reasons are just like weird. Its always something different, foot hurts, head hurts, it's too hot,
At first I thought so, but if so, he's not letting on. All our bills are paid with money left over, work isn't a problem...and some of the reasons are just like weird. Its always something different, foot hurts, head hurts, it's too hot, he's worried about me, he's depressed. I do everything for him, he doesn't lift a finger. So I honestly don't know what to do. We got married in May, we didn't make love for a month and a half after the wedding, and since that one time, we've done it maybe, and I emphasize maybe, three times. So you can see why I don't want to give up my toys in trade for a possible one time sex night every couple of months.
What was your sex life like with him before you got married? Unfortunately, though not as common as it once was, there are men who develop or feed a Madonna/Whore complex once they are married. That's just one possible theory, but not unheard of. (It would make even more sense if he is deeply religious or was raised in a deeply religious home.)
Talk to him. Keep talking until you get real, honest communication from him. Sometimes, as much as we dislike it, people clam up around those they are closest to out of fear of hurting their feelings for one reason or another. Or, just afraid of actually getting the reaction they expected. Not talking about it is only going to do one thing and that's drive your marriage into a hole.
It doesn't have to be a doomed situation, you don't have to give up your sex toys forever, and you don't have to live in silence. A marriage is equal parts love, communication and sex.
Use "I..." statements when you talk about it: I feel like we could be having better sex, I would like it if you would touch me [here] like [this] or talk to me like [this]. Until you get the communication back, lay off the toys for a little while. Channel your desire into him and get him talking. Everyone has a button to push, you just need to find the right one---the sex-positive one.