Okay, this is ridiculous...

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Okay, this is ridiculous...

RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
I've been giving my boyfriend oral for a while and I have to be honest: I really love it. I try to give him some whenever I can, but I know he takes a really long time to cum, so most of the time I have to deny him. And when I say "a long time", I mean "at least half an hour/forty-five minutes." I need to know if this is normal or if there's something I should be doing that I'm not or if there's something I should stop doing.

So... help?
12/21/2010
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Envy Envy
Have you tried communicating with him about this issue? Maybe there's some stimulation lacking he needs to finish. Or maybe he's tired/stressed.

Perhaps you guys should sit and talk about this to see if it's really 'normal' and how you guys can make things better.
12/21/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
I've been giving my boyfriend oral for a while and I have to be honest: I really love it. I try to give him some whenever I can, but I know he takes a really long time to cum, so most of the time I have to deny him. And when I say "a long ...
Mine can't cum at all from oral. I'd let him know that you love giving him oral sex, but that it's painful for you to give it to him start to finish. So....

1 - start him off with it, then go to something else
2 - start with something else then finish with oral
3 - try oral sex aids to see if adding something would help

There are things like tongue vibrators that maybe could help; a lot of men enjoy vibrational stimulation on their penises.

But, you certainly don't need to go all or nothing! 4 - try giving some oral but also using your hands to give your mouth a break.

lastly 5 - ask him what he likes, maybe he can give you tips
12/21/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Jessica Elizabeth
Mine can't cum at all from oral. I'd let him know that you love giving him oral sex, but that it's painful for you to give it to him start to finish. So....

1 - start him off with it, then go to something else
2 - start with ...
Yes! Number 4! Give that poor jaw a break
12/21/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
Goth - We've talked about it on more than one occasion and he keeps insisting that "I'm great", "he's lucky to have such a skilled girlfriend", blah blah blah. If he thought I wasn't doing something right, he would tell me, so if there's an issue, he's not aware of it. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

Jessica Elizabeth - Sounds good. I have been able to finish him off when he started himself first. I'm very persistent and willing to learn, so I'll try switching it up and see if that gets me anywhere. I've tried switching between hand and mouth in the past, but perhaps that's just not what works for him.
12/21/2010
sbon sbon
I basically agree with the rest of the advice here, you don't need oral for the whole 30-45 minutes. You can switch between your mouth and your hands or other activities. I'm sure he appreciates the effort all the same.
12/21/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
sbon - Thanks! Yeah, he really can't complain at this point. I gave him a little pick-me-up on our last date. At this point, I'm just trying to step up my game so I can show him the kind of satisfaction I get from him.
12/21/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Seems to me that your bf needs a lot of stimulation to get off. To get that much stimulation with just lips and tongue is nearly impossible - seems like adding some fairly vigorous hand action would help - and depending on whether he's into it or not - some perineum/anal stimulation may help as well.

I applaud your curiosity and desire - I assume your bf does as well - good luck!
12/21/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Seems to me that your bf needs a lot of stimulation to get off. To get that much stimulation with just lips and tongue is nearly impossible - seems like adding some fairly vigorous hand action would help - and depending on whether he's into it or ...
Thanks a lot, Gunsmoke! C: We haven't tried anal penetration on him yet, but we have talked about it being a possibility. I don't feel confident enough to try it while doing something else, but if he likes it, I'll certainly practice.
12/21/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
Thanks a lot, Gunsmoke! C: We haven't tried anal penetration on him yet, but we have talked about it being a possibility. I don't feel confident enough to try it while doing something else, but if he likes it, I'll certainly practice.
Happy to help - I'm sure you can walk and chew gum - so giving a bj with some anal stimulation is do'able! Don't wait for him to 'agree' - surprise him, I guarantee he'll thank you - just don't forget the lube - plenty of lube!
12/22/2010
Yoda Yoda
It's hard for me to cum from oral alone as well. It takes forever. I've found it's a lot easier if my wife used her hand as well. One on the shaft, the other on the testicles and sometimes using a vibrator anally. When she does this, it's hard not to cum after just 5 minutes.
12/22/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
Gunsmoke - Well, that is what he did to me, so I suppose it's only fair! xD

Yoda - Thanks. c:
12/22/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
Gunsmoke - Well, that is what he did to me, so I suppose it's only fair! xD

Yoda - Thanks. c:
You might also consider more stimulation for his brain.

Maybe spend more time teasing him beforehand, or do a strip tease or even watch a little porn. All this depends, of course, on what really turns him on, but you might find he responds faster if you work in getting him as worked up as possible before you even start touching him.
12/22/2010
joja joja
Lots of good suggestions in here. You may also want to try having him masturbate when you get tired, or perhaps to finish himself off if he tends to get really close but not quite "there." There are tons of fun things you can do to help him out - kiss him, give him a show, lick his balls, suck on his head, etc.
12/22/2010
ScottA ScottA
Definitely swap it off or mix it up with some buttplay. Holding out is great for vaginal, but for oral things can get tiring really fast.

When you discuss it with him make sure he knows that you aren't talking about your oral skills being bad, but that you're just running out of gas and getting sore.
12/22/2010
Alicia Alicia
Quote:
Originally posted by Jessica Elizabeth
Mine can't cum at all from oral. I'd let him know that you love giving him oral sex, but that it's painful for you to give it to him start to finish. So....

1 - start him off with it, then go to something else
2 - start with ...
These are all great suggestions and are usually how I handle oral sex. It's been pretty rare that I've ever just strictly given him oral start to finish, because it's usually a long time for oral stimulation itself to bring him to climax. I've actually found that if I give him oral for a substantial amount of time before sex he then lasts longer during sex. I think something about the oral helps him to kind of even things out a bit and get into more of a rhythm.
12/22/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I agree with all of your suggestions! With my ex I tended to start with oral and finish with sex, or start with a hand job and finish with oral. One other thing you can do which I didn't see listed above is to play with his balls while you give him head. Either with your hands or a bullet vibe or something.
12/22/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
Thanks for your advice, everyone.

I was thinking about trying to suck on his balls a little bit- I picked up some ideas by reading other discussions- but until recently, I didn't touch them because, let's face it, they're not the most attractive part of human anatomy. I'm learning to appreciate them, though.
12/22/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
Thanks for your advice, everyone.

I was thinking about trying to suck on his balls a little bit- I picked up some ideas by reading other discussions- but until recently, I didn't touch them because, let's face it, they're not the ...
Ask him to shave and clean em before you go down on him. Clean shaved balls are really no big deal. Dirty hairy balls..... ugh.
12/22/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
He actually doesn't really have any hair. :o
He has a happy trail and his legs are hairy as all get out, but his balls are smooth. I dunno, I guess I'm just lucky.
12/22/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
He actually doesn't really have any hair. :o
He has a happy trail and his legs are hairy as all get out, but his balls are smooth. I dunno, I guess I'm just lucky.
Maybe hes a closet waxer Do you often hear screaming coming from your bathroom?
12/22/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
Haha, no! He's just a pale, skinny, hairless, white boy. Not that I'm complaining. <3
12/22/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
some of us like that in our white boys.
12/22/2010
RemusHalifax RemusHalifax
You guys are awesome! I did some mouth/hand action the last time I pleasured my boyfriend and it went over very well. x3
He quite obviously enjoyed himself.
Thanks again!
12/29/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Seems to me that your bf needs a lot of stimulation to get off. To get that much stimulation with just lips and tongue is nearly impossible - seems like adding some fairly vigorous hand action would help - and depending on whether he's into it or ...
Great advice
01/12/2011
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
Yes! Number 4! Give that poor jaw a break
yea agreed! my hubby has no prob. getting off but he knows that i don't feel comfortable cuz of something that happened to me in 06 that i dont like it cumming in my mouth, so we always finish with me or him on top. but i give oral a good 30 min. but not cuz he'd take that long to finish, i just enjoy and i know he does, we do more than oral during that time too though. my jaw gets very sore too

different for diff. people! =]
02/20/2011
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by RemusHalifax
Thanks for your advice, everyone.

I was thinking about trying to suck on his balls a little bit- I picked up some ideas by reading other discussions- but until recently, I didn't touch them because, let's face it, they're not the ...
i have yet to do more than touch my hubbys a few times too, since they don't do much
02/21/2011
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Seems to me that your bf needs a lot of stimulation to get off. To get that much stimulation with just lips and tongue is nearly impossible - seems like adding some fairly vigorous hand action would help - and depending on whether he's into it or ...
This. It's really super common to take a while to get off from oral for some guys--if they can at all.
02/21/2011
onehotmomma onehotmomma
I used to have an old bf who couldn't come from oral. It was more relaxing and enjoyable kind of thing for him. We'd always finish some other way, because I could only do it so long before I got wore out!
02/21/2011
hjtee hjtee
Add in some stimulation from other sources. As long as he keeps saying that your doing great, keep doing what you're doing, just add to it.
04/02/2011
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