I almost never reach climax

finallydone finallydone
I'm a middle-aged female and have rarely been able to climax. I've never been married, but have had sex with guys both casually and in relationships. I have cum once with oral and once being fingered. I used to climax fairly easily while masturbating, but even that now only happens after hours with a vibrator and visual/oral/auditory stimulation. I'm beyond frustrated! Any ideas on how to get myself on track?
Jun 21, 4:44 pm
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Rossie Rossie
Age will dampen your libido and also your sensitivity quite a bit. Do you simultaneously stimulate your clitoris and G-spot while you masturbate? It makes a huge difference when you do that - along with plenty of patience and lots of good quality lube. By the way, what kind of vibrator do you use? A good rabbit will give you much better stimulation than a so-so vibrator. Check out the Jopen Vanity Vr5.5 and the LELO Ina 2 - they're priced slightly higher than other rabbits, but they have rumbly vibrations (rumbly is always better than buzzy vibration, when it comes to stimulating our lady parts), and their designs work well for most women.
Jun 21, 6:05 pm
dv8 dv8
Medical issues, medication, substance intake, stress, and psychological issues may be significant factors. Anorgasmia is a complicated condition and plenty of information about it is already on the internet. If you still can climax, even after hours, you're better off than not being able to climax at all. Don't worry about needing stimulation. Get off on what you enjoy instead of thinking of it as a crutch. Perhaps try new stimuli and fantasies. Don't focus on orgasm as a goal; relax and take pleasure in the experience that precedes it.

Trying different vibrators may help. What works for you isn't predictable so you'll have to read about your options and experiment. For example, something powerful like the Hitachi Magic Wand could work wonders or it could be so strong that it makes you numb. A G-Spot vibrator would provide different sensations as would a device like The Eroscillator. Also, don't be afraid or ashamed of using sex toys during sex.
Jun 22, 12:17 am
icyqueen icyqueen
Welcome to the forum! What kind of vibrator do you use? Maybe you just need a stronger one. You can try the Fairy Wand/Fairy Wand Mini or the Magic Wand. They are strong. And please don't try to focus on having an orgasm because it makes you feel under pressure. Feeling under pressure is never good for having orgasms. Try to relax and enjoy your fantasies and the stimulation.
Jun 22, 5:32 am
finallydone finallydone
Quote:
Originally posted by icyqueen
Welcome to the forum! What kind of vibrator do you use? Maybe you just need a stronger one. You can try the Fairy Wand/Fairy Wand Mini or the Magic Wand. They are strong. And please don't try to focus on having an orgasm because it makes you feel ... More
Thanks so much to those who responded - this has obviously been on my mind for years, but I never knew who to ask. Now I do! You all made very
valid points. I always buy the cheaper vibrators because it has felt like a very "frivolous" purchase and money is tight. Besides, even though shopping here for them is exciting, my expectations have been very low. I do like the dual stimulation ones the best, but I need them to be flexible to hit the right spots, and to be honest, many of the ones I've tried have been too thick (the part you insert). I've always been very tight - maybe because I rarely use lubrication. Also, I think the idea of finding a vibrator that rumbles instead of buzzing is great because I do tend to get numb - I have to use them for such a long time! I also no longer "set the mood" or take time out to enjoy the process. I'd have to find a way to be left alone for hours, and I am always nervous that I'll get caught - it can be embarrassing because people know that I don't have a man to have sex with. I'm going to try your ideas as soon as I can afford a new vibrator - my latest one burned out last night! By the way dv8 - I do take a medication that can have this effect, so I'll try to appreciate whatever climaxes I sometimes get!
Jun 22, 7:12 pm
Oriental husband and wife Oriental husband and wife
finally done,

Lots of great answers to your question. Here's another suggestion. The N Joy Pure Wand and the all mighty Hitachi Wand. The Pure Wand is not too thick and designed to target erogenous zones inside. Start with the corded Hitachi and add the Pure Wand when ready. The two combined after a few uses can give not only orgasms, but multiple ones. O.W. had 3 last week in less than 8 minutes.

Read reviews on both if you are not familiar with them. Both will last a long time and very reliable.
Jun 22, 8:19 pm
Total posts: 6
Unique posters: 5