Intercrural sex and Frot: Yay or Nay?

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Intercrural sex and Frot: Yay or Nay?

Jenyana Jenyana
As someone who finds penetration painful most of the time due to physical limitations, I've had to learn to get creative in the bedroom in order to satisfy my partners and being satisfied by them. There are some days in which I'm just not in the mood for oral, either giving or receiving, and hands and fingers, while being perfectly nice, are sometimes just not enough.

That's when frot and intercrural sex comes into play. For those not in the know, frot is basically rubbing your genitals agianst each other, and it's pretty popular among gay gays for no so much with straight couples, I've found (by the blank look of incomprehension of my partners whenever I mention it, at least).

Intercrural is an alternative to frot, but it involves "trapping" the penis between your well-lubed thighs while he thrusts.

Both can provide plenty of stimulation for both parties, so I'm wondering why it's not as popular as penetration (though bear in mind that either of these can get you pregnant and/or transmit STIs if you don't wear protection and your guy finishes over your lady parts).

So now I'm wondering how many of you great people actually practise/have tried frot and/or intercrural, whether you'd heard of it before, or whether you'd just been doing it for a while but just never heard the name for it. So, what about it?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
I dislike even the idea of frot
I hdislike even the idea of intercrural sex
I've tried frot and found it lacking.
Ms. Spice , bayosgirl , emiliaa
3
I've tried intercrural sex and found it lacking.
Tori Rebel , joja , Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
3
I've tried frot and liked it, but not enough to do it regularly.
Ivy Wilde , ThoughtsAblaze , anonymouse58 , Airen Wolf , joja , teeny <3 , LQ
7
I've tried intercrural sex and liked it, but not enough to do it regularly.
M121212 , AngelvMaynard , JessCee , Ivy Wilde , LostBoy988 , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , anonymouse58 , Airen Wolf , emiliaa , Antipova , teeny <3 , Bignuf , LQ
13
I've tried frot and loved it! Just don't practise it for some reason.
Antipova
1
I've tried intecrural sex and loved it! Just don't practise it for some reason.
I practise frot regularly.
M121212 , Jenyana , ToyTimeTim , P'Gell , Tori Rebel , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Adriana Ravenlust
7
I practise intercrural sex regularly.
Jenyana , ToyTimeTim
2
This is the first time I hear of frot.
mistressg , Eva Schwaltz , pfoof , Ghost , Gunsmoke , Ms. Spice , Ryuson , Misfit Momma , Taylor
9
This is the first time I hear of intercrural sex.
MaryExy , mistressg , Waterfall , Eva Schwaltz , pfoof , Ghost , Gunsmoke , dezzydezire , ZenaidaMacroura , biangel88 , Ryuson , Misfit Momma , Lummox , Taylor , potstickers
15
Total votes: 60 (38 voters)
Poll is closed
07/16/2011
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Jenyana Jenyana
...I really hope these aren't too many options. ^^UUU
07/16/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
I've heard of frot, but not intercrural sex. Never tried either of them, but I'd be willing to.
07/17/2011
M121212 M121212
I think a lot of people frot who don't know that word for it. They might know it as dry humping or grinding with clothes on.

I'd say I actually fantasize more about intercrurual sex more than I actually do it. It's hot to me because it offers very new and novel parts of the body that can get fucked.
07/17/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
I hadn't heard of it in the technical term, nor have I ever tried it. I am not against trying it though.
07/17/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
I haven't heard of these but would not hesitate to try.
07/17/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
We have done "intercrural" but didn't realize what we did had a name. Now we know
07/17/2011
Ansley Ansley
I've always been under the impression frottage is largely practiced in the gay community.
07/17/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
I've always been under the impression frottage is largely practiced in the gay community.
Yep, it is, but not so much with the straight folk, I've found, which is why I mostly directed this question at straight couples.

Whenever I'm with a man I always get this blank look in answer to my suggestions that we do one of these activities, which is why I wanted to find out if I've just been incredibly unlucky with unimaginative partners or if it's just that they're not very well-known forms of sex within the straight community. They're a lot of fun if done well, but it gets tiring always having to explain how it's done before we can get on with it.

I realize now that I didn't word it very well and made a dreadful amount of typos, which should teach me once and for all that I shouldn't post while sleepy. Sorry about that. ^^U
07/17/2011
Ivy Wilde Ivy Wilde
I knew the term "frot", but not "intercrural". It's always good to learn something new.
07/17/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenyana
Yep, it is, but not so much with the straight folk, I've found, which is why I mostly directed this question at straight couples.

Whenever I'm with a man I always get this blank look in answer to my suggestions that we do one of these ...
I think it's more widely known as dry-humping in the straight community, even though the term isn't accurate. Maybe you should approach partners with dry-humping instead of frottage. It kind of sounds like a frothing, cottage cheese if you aren't totally familiar with it.
07/17/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
We practice frotterage regularly, but only occasionally until he ejaculates. I rarely come from frotterage, only if I've just had a clit or blended orgasm. As for intercrural, I'd rather give a blow job, on the off day when I have a yeast infection or something and can't have PIV, as I get nothing out of intercrural. I get more out of giving oral, as does My Man get more from both giving and receiving it.

That's just us, though.

There's an old nursing text by a doctor named Guttmacher. He suggests intercrural during pregnancy "when the woman is unable to perform her intercourse duties." (Like I said, it's an old text.) I remember thinking, "Why not a blow job?" I doubt Alan Guttmacher would have thought of it, though.

I think, honestly, that's the last time I've heard it mentioned.

I'm glad you found something that works for you though. I have to ask the OP, do you get sexually aroused enough to orgasm from intercrural sex?
07/17/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
We practice frotterage regularly, but only occasionally until he ejaculates. I rarely come from frotterage, only if I've just had a clit or blended orgasm. As for intercrural, I'd rather give a blow job, on the off day when I have a yeast ...
It depends. If done right, yes. If the guy is a bit clumsy, or if he came too fast due to the unusual stimulation (intercrural can be very enjoyable for a guy and the surprise sometimes ruins their self-control ^^U), then I might need some extra help, but for me having an orgasm is not really the point of frot or intercrural sex. It's actually as close as I can get to being fucked without experiencing indescribable pain, because I'm built unusually small down there, and unless I'm dating a guy who is also built unusually small, vaginal penetrative sex just isn't an option (and although I enjoy anal, I won't have it with just anyone and I can't take it very hard and fast anyway).
07/17/2011
Coralbell Coralbell
We usually rub against each other a bit before penetration, but we've never done it as the main act.
07/18/2011
LostBoy988 LostBoy988
Its fun with both guys and girls but not something that I have to do.
07/18/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenyana
It depends. If done right, yes. If the guy is a bit clumsy, or if he came too fast due to the unusual stimulation (intercrural can be very enjoyable for a guy and the surprise sometimes ruins their self-control ^^U), then I might need some extra ...
Oh, I'm sorry.

Have you been diagnosed with vaginismus? It's an involuntary spasm of the vaginal muscles when penetration is attempted. It can cause pain and discomfort for both the man and the woman.

However, the good news it, there is treatment for it.

I'd talk to a GYN about this. "Small" women are nearly always able to lubricate and ALL women are capable of involuntary expanding of the vaginal opening when sexually aroused. Your resting vaginal "size" is usually immaterial, as vaginismus has nothing to do with vaginal width, which really doesn't vary among women very much. ALL women have the walls of their vagina touching when they are at rest and not sexually aroused. Most are able to relax the muscles when aroused. When the muscles spasm, penetration is either very painful or impossible.

It is not a lost cause. I've seen many women cured of vaginismus, but you have to be diagnosed first. If a doctor doesn't want to take you seriously (and it is serious, because every person should be able to enjoy sex and doctors should understand this) then see someone else. The best doctors (IMO) work at University Teaching Hospitals. These hospitals are more up to date and have more research being done as well as usually hire the best doctors. Community hospitals may only have one or two doctors per specialty, and often are very stuck in their ways. (Although some community hospitals are good, I prefer Uni Teaching Hospitals and the doctors who work at them.)

I can get you more info on this (I'm a nurse who has worked in Women and Children's Health) if you want.

Let me know if you want more data.
07/19/2011
ThoughtsAblaze ThoughtsAblaze
I've heard of both acts, but never knew the terms. You learn something new every day!
07/19/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
Oh, I'm sorry.

Have you been diagnosed with vaginismus? It's an involuntary spasm of the vaginal muscles when penetration is attempted. It can cause pain and discomfort for both the man and the woman.

However, the good news it, ...
I've actually been diagnosed with dyspareunia with secondary vaginismus (I experience pain so often that sometimes I clench involuntary at the expectation of it and hence experience even more pain). My vagina expands fine enough, but the entrance of it doesn't.

Lube doesn't help (although I always use plenty of it). Being aroused doesn't help. Relaxing doesn't help. Simply, the entrance of my vagina is too small, or too unflexible. Not all vaginas are the same, people are built differently all the time, and mine decided that it wanted to have an entrance barely big enough to fit two fingers, and make me work to take even that.

And no, it's not an unnusually sturdy hymen, either. That was broken ages ago and there are no vestiges left.

Doctors have been politely scratching their heads at me and wavering between telling me it's all in my head and threatening to open me up surgically, but they're not very hopeful because in some cases of dyspareunia, surgical scarring only makes things worse. I don't want to take that venue until I've exhausted all the options.

Their last bright idea has been to have me use vaginal dilators, although they're not common practise in my country. I'm still waiting for mine to arrive (I had to place an international order and it may take from two weeks to a month to arrive, depending how long it sits at customs), and though I'm not expecting it to solve the problem completely, they might help.

Time will tell.
07/19/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i've had tried frotting but didn't know the name of it before, but never heard of intercrural. frotting seems more like foreplay for me, but understanding your situation, the need to accommodate is necessary. i wish you well on your health issues
07/20/2011
bayosgirl bayosgirl
I didn't know there was a name for it--"frot" huh?! You learn something new every day! We did it once when I was going through a really rough bout with my depression and had NO interest in sex. I wanted to satisfy him, and I can't blow him because it hurts my jaw....anyway, it was alright for him but I might as well have been making a grocery list. LOL
07/20/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Quote:
Originally posted by Ms. Spice
i've had tried frotting but didn't know the name of it before, but never heard of intercrural. frotting seems more like foreplay for me, but understanding your situation, the need to accommodate is necessary. i wish you well on your health issues
Thanks!

Intercrural can be a lot of fun when done right... and doing it right involves lube, plenty of it. Otherwise you might be risking friction burns, and that is one place you don't want friction burns, believe me. ^^U
07/20/2011
emiliaa emiliaa
Mahaha I didn't know intercrual sex had a name. It's pretty fun as foreplay, actually
07/20/2011
joja joja
Frotting is fun, my boy and I call it "clit sex." I've tried intercrural sex briefly, but it didn't do anything for me.
07/20/2011
Antipova Antipova
I've done both of these without knowing the names. Especially frot, and less frequently intercrural sex (and giving oral) pretty much made up my sex life with my first boyfriend for the first couple of months before we started having penetrative sex. I orgasmed pretty easily from frot. I don't do it terribly often anymore except maybe as foreplay because penetration gets me off faster.

For intercrural---is that really just between the thighs? Because we did that occasionally, but we would also do an equivalent where he'd be thrusting with the back and sides of his penis held by my thighs, but the front up against my labia (so there was plenty of lube.) And that was pretty awesome, and if that's the true definition then that's still part of foreplay today (on the occasion that I'm not wet immediately on contact, because I start developing lube pretty quickly.) I don't orgasm from it though, or at least I never have.

I think they're both common activities, even if not usually "entrees" of folks' sex lives. Hardly anyone knows the names, though (I just learned myself!). I'm glad you've got things that work for you given your health, and I hope things improve for you there too
07/20/2011
Jenyana Jenyana
Quote:
Originally posted by Antipova
I've done both of these without knowing the names. Especially frot, and less frequently intercrural sex (and giving oral) pretty much made up my sex life with my first boyfriend for the first couple of months before we started having penetrative ...
Well, there are a few variations on intercrural sex... from the front or from behind, lying down, holding the closed legs up, kneeling or even standing, and with or without contact with the crotch, plus a bit of variation with angles and depth, and how hard you close your thighs. The ideal spot for me is the little triangle that forms between the crotch and the thighs... both parties involved get plenty of stimulation that way.

I know there are variations in which some people use the back of the knees, armpits and even elbows, but I haven't tried those. They seem too weird to me. ^^U

I know, I only learned the names myself a couple of years ago. As I understand it, gay men are far more likely to practise it, particularly the couples that don't enjoy anal, but few straight guys will think of it as the main attraction of the evening or will be very open to doing it.

They are far more likely to want a boob job instead, and though I'm perfectly built for them and not unwilling to do it, I still like frot and intercrural better... more stimulation for me, yanno?

(and now I'm wondering how many people went and tried it with their partners after reading this. Intellectual curiosity and all that. XD)
07/21/2011
LQ LQ
Don't think I've done frot much recently unless it was a had-to-keep-clothes-on deal.

As far as intercrural...never heard the term before, but I will sometimes do something like that as a part of foreplay. When I'm not quite wet enough or not ready to actually be penetrated for some reason, or if the guy needs a moment... I'll "trap" a guy's penis between my crotch & my hand, basically. (This is really just something I made up because I'm lame at handjobs. *shrug*)
11/01/2011
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 18