Turning your mind off to enjoy sex

Risque Risque
Have you ever had one of those times in your life that you can't get into it because your mind is elsewhere or you are upset over something? There are times I feel like this just for a day or two and others it can last a week or more. It could be something at work upsetting you, your kids, bills/money, family/friends, a death, and maybe even something your partner said or did. Sometimes it's really hard to shut those things out and enjoy the moment. Almost like you r body refuses to relax and be turned on. Have you ever experienced this? If so, how did you deal with it? Did you find a way to shut it out or did it ruin the moment completely?
09/19/2012
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Seductive Dream Seductive Dream
Yes especially when my partner and I have had disagreements or just bad days. I have a hard time forgetting about what I am upset about sometimes to enjoy or want to enjoy sex with him. I try to change my mood before hand though and that seems to help some, but sometimes nothing helps. Hot baths seem to be a good solution on a lot of days
09/29/2012
indiglo indiglo
That hasn't happened to me too many times, but if something is really, really bothering me - I would just stop and talk to my man about it. I'd tell him I really want to continue but something's bothering me and I need to get it out first. Then we'd talk about it - even if he can't fix it, just feeling heard is often enough for me to stop worrying or obsessing over something.

Then we can move the festivities along, and usually I enjoy it MUCH more!


(I just thought of one time this happened. My grandmother was in the hospital after a bad fall and I was an emotional wreck, but I really felt like bonding with my man physically would help relieve some tension. But I also felt guilty for thinking about having sex and getting off while my grandmother was ill in the hospital. So we had a good talk about it, and then I felt up to having sex. It was fantastic - a huge bonding moment AND relieved a TON of pent up stress, anxiety and emotion. I had a good cry after we had sex that night and finally slept.)
09/29/2012
Deeder Deeder
This happens to me pretty much every time my husband and I have sex. Granted, it's usually not work/bills/kids that I'm thinking about, but the sex itself. The whole thing has become such an issue for me because I know that I won't "get anything out of it", and that just makes me not wanted to have it in the first place. (You can't be disappointed if you don't get your hopes up, right?)

I still haven't found anything to take my mind off of it.
09/29/2012
Ly-Ra Ly-Ra
Quote:
Originally posted by Risque
Have you ever had one of those times in your life that you can't get into it because your mind is elsewhere or you are upset over something? There are times I feel like this just for a day or two and others it can last a week or more. It could be ... More
Yep... I have this pretty often. It can be frustrating since I want to enjoy it but I'm a little too distracted. I usually shut it out the best I can, but often it's not as enjoyable as it could be.
09/30/2012
Risque Risque
Quote:
Originally posted by Deeder
This happens to me pretty much every time my husband and I have sex. Granted, it's usually not work/bills/kids that I'm thinking about, but the sex itself. The whole thing has become such an issue for me because I know that I won't ... More
Wow you sound exactly like I did with my ex-husband. I can't tell you how much I feel for you. When I got out of my relationship with him is when I started looking into my true desires and started trying new things. I swore to myself that I would never be in another position like that again. In almost 8 years I had zero orgasms with him. It royally sucked and I started hating sex in general. I am in a relationship now where we definitely don't have that problem thankfully. We have been together for a few years now though so have started adding a few things to play time to spice things up a bit.

So my fail was I didn't try to bring things into the bedroom with my ex to find a solution of some kind. Have you tried different things or adding toys? Does he know your not getting anything out of it or just not care? Would love to chat with you about this more. You can pm me if you want.
10/04/2012
Risque Risque
Quote:
Originally posted by Ly-Ra
Yep... I have this pretty often. It can be frustrating since I want to enjoy it but I'm a little too distracted. I usually shut it out the best I can, but often it's not as enjoyable as it could be.
Ya sometimes it has nothing to do with my partner, I just have so much on my mind that I can't let it go to enjoy it. Afterwards I kick myself for letting it ruin have I could have enjoyed. Anyone find anything that works for them I would love to hear it.
10/04/2012
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 5