Funny things the Kids say

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Funny things the Kids say

BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
My kids seem to say the funniest things! Like today, I was changing a dirty diaper, and my almost-three-year-old says to me:

#2) Mommy, you're funny!
ME) Yeah, well, you're disgusting! (referring to the diaper)
#2) Yeah, You're funny and I'm disgusting *giggle giggle*

And that is just the tip of the ice berg. So what have your kids said to you (or had a kid say to you)...
11/17/2010
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El-Jaro El-Jaro
There are few things funnier on this planet when you hear a 3 year old lay into someone with all the curse words you hoped they didn't hear and they're using them correctly too! In other words, a 3-5 year old calling someone an mf'er when they deserve it.

Priceless!
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
There are few things funnier on this planet when you hear a 3 year old lay into someone with all the curse words you hoped they didn't hear and they're using them correctly too! In other words, a 3-5 year old calling someone an mf'er when ...
Yes, my 3 year old even knows when to say, "ah, dammit!" Ooops! Me thinks it's time to curb me tongue!
11/17/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Being called "Mama!" by a male friend's two-year-old. The friend kept correcting his son, but telling a two-year-old a Fact is pointless.

Once while I was working at a thrift store a father and son came up to the register to purchase something. I rang up their order while the ten-year-old was staring at my breasts the whole time. After I told them to have a good day, they left the counter and I overheard the boy say, "Dad, her tits are huge!" The father chuckled and nodded in reply, but said nothing.
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Being called "Mama!" by a male friend's two-year-old. The friend kept correcting his son, but telling a two-year-old a Fact is pointless.

Once while I was working at a thrift store a father and son came up to the register to ...
that's awesome. He probably is sighing the "Dad sigh of relief" when they realize their sons are "normal" red blooded American All-Star Boys. *eyeroll*
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
So, here's another one.

#1 comes home from school and in Kindergarten (as in my daughter is FIVE (5)), I guess they don't get homework, so I have "study" time where she practices reading and writing. She's sounding out words and she says to me:

#1) Ugh, MOOOOOOOOOM! This is too hard! I don't even WANT to go to college!
ME) Can we get you to the first grade?
#1) *sigh*
11/17/2010
SexyTabby SexyTabby
Oh lawd I have a bunch of these lmao having children is a joy.

As far as cussing goes yeah they a mess. My 6yr old was on a field trip and pointing into the sky screaming all excited "look at that bastard fly!" They were pointing to a buzzard but the hubby called them flying bastards one too many times lol

Shopping at Lowes one time my hubby and the two boys were waiting in line when hubby was picking on my butt literally and my son jumped in on the defensive "at least mom don't buy extra quadruple large pink lace underwear like you wear!" lol the lady at the counter dropped a can of paint. It was so funny.

In a group of 7 boys ranging in ages of 4 - 11 they were laughing and teasing with things like "when you get old you are going to have hair growing out your nose!" well the 11yr old, god love him, mumbles "when you get older you'll have hair start growing in places you can't imagine." I had lemonade coming out my nose and it's a good thing too cuz his comment was lost as all the other's laughed at me coughing up lemonade.

Joys of parenting lol
11/17/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
that's awesome. He probably is sighing the "Dad sigh of relief" when they realize their sons are "normal" red blooded American All-Star Boys. *eyeroll*
Yeah. Kinda weird to think that I probably jump-started puberty in the kid.
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Yeah. Kinda weird to think that I probably jump-started puberty in the kid.
meh, be PROUD!
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Today, cleaning up the crayons:

ME) Hey #2, let's pick this up, I'll hold the box and you pick up the crayons.
#2) No, Mommy, YOU pick up the crayons and I hold the box.

FacePalm
11/17/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
Today, cleaning up the crayons:

ME) Hey #2, let's pick this up, I'll hold the box and you pick up the crayons.
#2) No, Mommy, YOU pick up the crayons and I hold the box.

FacePalm
Oh I have heard that one before.

My 2.5 yr old is well knows for her go to response. "Because it's/is not easy!"

For example.

"Mika, why don't you go put on your pants?"
"No mom, I don't like my pants."
"sweetheart, it's cold you should put on your pants. Why don't you like your pants?"
"Because it's not easy!"

"Why do you keep drawing on the walls?!?!"
"Because it's easy!"
"Well you need to stop now."
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because it's not easy."
11/17/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
There are few things funnier on this planet when you hear a 3 year old lay into someone with all the curse words you hoped they didn't hear and they're using them correctly too! In other words, a 3-5 year old calling someone an mf'er when ...
My youngest did that for like 2 years. Her favorite was calling someone a f***ing a**hole...clearly I need to clean up my own language at home...ugh.

Another was a GIANT g**Damnit! while eating at Taco Bell in the Bible Belt...nice.
11/17/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Oh my...

1. Older daughter says...Mommy, Daddy...we need to talk.
Me: Why baby?
Her: You and Daddy need to get remarried.
Me: I love Daddy, why would I get remarried.
Her: I mean to him.
Me: Huh?
Her: I want a baby brother.
Me: We are married.
Her: Uncle and Auntie got married and are having a baby, Godmama got married and is having a baby, you and daddy got married and had me, then got married and had HER (points to sister) I want a BROTHER!

She knows we got married after I was preggo with her and then had another baby...I guess she figures we were married when I got pregnant with her.

2. Last night:
Youngest: Did you know pilgrims came over on the Mayflower?
J: No...wow...what is the Mayflower?
Her: A big boat.
Older daughter: Nu-uh...the Mayflower is a TRUCK stupid!
Me and J: LAUGHTER

She was referring to the Mayflower moving trucks!
11/17/2010
Chilipepper Chilipepper
While driving with a friend and her daughter, the friend had to break suddenly and lean on her horn. Before she could open her mouth to cuss out the driver, the 1.5 year old in the carseat in the back yelled out "SUMMUMABITCH!!!"

I was laughing too hard for my friend to make up an excuse.
11/17/2010
J's Alley J's Alley
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
While driving with a friend and her daughter, the friend had to break suddenly and lean on her horn. Before she could open her mouth to cuss out the driver, the 1.5 year old in the carseat in the back yelled out "SUMMUMABITCH!!!"

I ...
LOVE IT!
11/17/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Conversation between a dad and five year old I know (not mine, so the names have been left out):

He read her a story and told her it was time for bed.
5 yr old: “Daddy, now can I read you the story?”
Dad: “No kiddo, not tonight. You got one story; you can read me a story tomorrow night, OK?”
5 yr old: “OK. Can you stay with me? Do you want to have a sleepover?”
Dad: “Not tonight, kiddo. Maybe some other night, like this weekend, OK?”
5 yr old: “You loser. I’m going to cut your head off.”
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Conversation between a dad and five year old I know (not mine, so the names have been left out):

He read her a story and told her it was time for bed.
5 yr old: “Daddy, now can I read you the story?”
Dad: “No kiddo, not tonight. You got ...
that's awesome
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
#1) I want a snaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccc cccckkkkkkkkkkk!
ME) OK... (go to fridge, pull out a DelMonte(??) freezers popsicle frozen applesauce thing)
#1) (15 minutes later) Can I have a healthy snack now?
ME) That was a healthy snack.
#1) (look of shock) Can I have some candy now?
11/17/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
#1) I want a snaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccc cccckkkkkkkkkkk!
ME) OK... (go to fridge, pull out a DelMonte(??) freezers popsicle frozen applesauce thing)
#1) (15 minutes later) Can I have a healthy snack now?
ME) That was a healthy snack.
#1) ...
hahhaha!
11/17/2010
Madeira Madeira
My little brother pointing at my first boyfriend (who I'd brought home for the first time): Mommy, why is he wearing a dress?
My Mom: Because your sister likes girlie boys.
11/17/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
My daughter was about 2.5 yrs old when this took place:

Kid, from the backseat for no clear reason: "Oh my god! Fuck!"
Mom, using first AND middle name: You know better than to say that!"
Kid: I'm sorry mommy—"Oh my gosh... fuck."

At that point her dad and I lost the battle with an overwhelming fit of giggles and realized we would win never win any parenting awards.
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
My daughter was about 2.5 yrs old when this took place:

Kid, from the backseat for no clear reason: "Oh my god! Fuck!"
Mom, using first AND middle name: You know better than to say that!"
Kid: I'm sorry mommy—"Oh ...
Now THAT is FUNNY!
11/17/2010
JEM JEM
I work with high functioning Autistic kids so I have TONS of these! One of the most recent was during our Halloween party. I was dressed up as Punky Brewster. I had 2 different colored converse on which one kid thought was the coolest thing ever. He looks at me and asks "Tonya, can I wear two different colored Converse on Halloween?" I say "Well, what is it you are going to be?" Student replies "I was thinking I could be a homo....they would wear different colored shoes...right?" Me....with horror "WHAT?? Why do you say that???" Student....confused "Well, because they are poor...sleep on benches....their clothes don't always match....right?" Me...a little relieved, "OHHHH you mean a HOBO!!"
11/17/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
My kids seem to say the funniest things! Like today, I was changing a dirty diaper, and my almost-three-year-old says to me:

#2) Mommy, you're funny!
ME) Yeah, well, you're disgusting! (referring to the diaper)
#2) Yeah, ...
My Mom was watching my oldest one night and she was jumping on the couch. It was so fun she was screaming with laughter...and she says "I'm jumpin like an asshole!" What she actually said was Grass-O which is what she called grasshoppers but my Mom was pissing herself. Same daughter sees a bird in Wal-Mart and points at it telling me in that wonderful no volume control voice kids have, "Look Mom it's a Pecker...it's a PeckerWood" Ya Woodpecker indeed....

She's been our pride and joy lemme tell ya.
11/17/2010
BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
My Mom was watching my oldest one night and she was jumping on the couch. It was so fun she was screaming with laughter...and she says "I'm jumpin like an asshole!" What she actually said was Grass-O which is what she called ...
When my cousin was 5 and Toy Story was big (before now... as obviously it's a big thing right now) he got a Woody doll for Christmas. He walked all over my grandparents' house screaming "I GOT A BIG WOODY!" for about 3 hours! It was awesome.
11/18/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
My nephew used to be in love with Monster trucks. We would ask him tons of questions about them. Of course when he said monster truck it came out motherfuck.

My son from the back seat : oh damn
Me: Sweetheart you dont say damn say "Oh darn"
Son: No mom thats a bad word. Oh Damn.
Me: No babe, Damn is bad Darn is good. Say Oh darn.
Son: No. Oh fuck.
Me: Hun, OH darn Not Oh fuck.
Son: Mom stop sayin bad words.
Me: I'm not saying bad words Lucas.
Son: Ohhhhhhh DAAAAAARN!
11/18/2010
Jenn (aka kissmykitty) Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
I have a six year old girl and a four year old son who is autistic. The things they say, oh boy... I love the mispronunciations, for one thing. With my son, all of his Ls and Rs become Ws. His name, for instance: R-Y-A-N, Wyan!

My daughter has recently been into rhyming words... she discovered that cock rhymes with block and she's all "cock block cock block cock block!"
11/18/2010
Sebmissive Sebmissive
My friend and I were babysitting her 3 year old niece, and the little girl was being a brat. My friend says, "You're annoying me." Thinking she was talking to me, I said, "Who, me?" Her niece shakes her head, points to herself, and goes, "No, ME!" Though it's true that she was being annoying, I couldn't help but giggle and give her a hug. The way she said it was the cutest thing.
11/18/2010
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
I have a six year old girl and a four year old son who is autistic. The things they say, oh boy... I love the mispronunciations, for one thing. With my son, all of his Ls and Rs become Ws. His name, for instance: R-Y-A-N, Wyan!

My daughter has ...
Lmao, I guess she will be the mother hen in group situations at the bar
11/18/2010
Alicia Alicia
Last night at dinner my 4 year old came out of the bathroom and came back to the table and announces "Wow! It was hard to pull my pants up because my penis is so huge!" I almost spit out my drink. I thought I must have heard wrong so I said "what?" and he said "my penis, it's HUGE, it barely fits in my pants!" I figured out that he meant he had an erection..they always feel the need to announce those and look at it whenever it happens, which is extremely embarassing when it happens while grocery shopping... anyway my husband said "that's nice dear..sit down and eat your dinner" then my 5 year old says to the 4 year old "can I see?" I screamed out "NO ONE IS SEEING ANYONE'S PENIS AT THE DINNER TABLE NOW EVERYONE EAT!!"
11/18/2010
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Unique posters: 26