Funny Sex Stories

Contributor: MarriedWithSexToys MarriedWithSexToys
Do you have any funny or unusual sex stories that happened to you while in the throws of passion that you would like to share with the community?
09/17/2009
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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09/17/2009
Contributor: MarriedWithSexToys MarriedWithSexToys
Since I started the thread I guess I'll be the first to go.

When the wife and I were first dating neither of us had our own place and so we had zero privacy for when we wanted to have a little fun. One night after watching a movie and a heavy make out session we were both horny and decided to jump in the car and go for a drive to have a little fun.

Driving to a secluded area just outside the city we started to get down to business. Being that this was a two seater car I had to get into the passenger seat floor and being on my knees with her on the seat we were able to get into position and were enjoying ourselves immensely.

We were enjoying ourselves so much that we didn't see the cop car pull up along side us or hear the cop close his door as he got our and approached the passenger side door. With his flashlight he politely rapped on the passenger side window and asked us to roll it down. The first thing out of his mouth was "Sorry to interrupt here, but Miss are you here on your own free will? and can I see some ID?" After showing him our IDs he politely said "Thanks and enjoy the rest of your night" and he left.

Needless to say I was as limp as a noodle and it wasn't going up again for nothing so after we got dressed we left to go get something to eat. While driving back the now wife said "I should have told him I wasn't there on my own free will just to see what happened."

After that incident we never had sex in the car again.
09/17/2009
Contributor: spicywife spicywife
Wow. Awkward! I wonder what the cop was thinking.

I only have one small story. It's about me and my now-husband as well. We were in college and we were driving to class together but had time to spare. He pulled into a vacant lot (there was a restaurant or something there but it had closed down). I was in the passenger seat with my pants pulled down and he was leaned over giving me oral sex......... And we were really getting into it, nearing the end when something caught my eye. I looked over and saw some dude in a large truck craning his head to see what was going on.

That was completely embarrassing and only funny now, years later. We quickly drove away.

I have no idea what the guy thought he was doing, as if what we were doing was anything of his business. Maybe he was just checking in to see if something was wrong? who knows...
09/17/2009
Contributor: spicywife spicywife
We haven't done anything like that again (in the car) either, lol. We may never will, talk about traumatic!
09/17/2009
Contributor: K101 K101
Lol I enjoyed those stories! Ha Ha. I have had a few embarrassing ones. I don't know if they'd be funny to others, but even years later I'm not totally amused. Lol.

Several years ago, with a different partner than I have now. He always demanded oral. It didn't matter what I said there was no getting out of it unless I wanted him to be a douche bag about it for ever. So I usually gave in until I realized he wouldn't ever get over himself and I left him. OK To the point, he wanted to have sex and begged and begged for hours one night to have sex and I finally told him I was menstruating so he'd leave me alone. Then he gave me the ultimatum. Sex or oral. ORAL PLEASE! Lol. I was young and did not want to go that far just yet so if oral shut him up, I was happy to do it that day.

He video taped it. Promised we would tape over it after we watched it a few times although I never did get to see it. I was fully clothed, but my face was obvious and giving oral. Before we ever got to destroy it or tape over it his house was broken into and robbed! Guess what they took? Everything including his deodorant AND the video camera WITH the video inside! AHHH! Shoot me! Lol. Now, I'm over it, but I was totally freaked about it then.

We did find out who broke into his house and I knew the guy. I hunted that SOB down and told him he better destroy any video that was in the camera. He was terrified and I'm sure that thing is long gone, but who all seen it before? Lol

There was also one time when I was doing oral and we stopped at a red light and he told me nobody was around and I heard a horn honking, raised up to see a dude right next to us giving the thumbs up! Not funny. Thankfully I didnt know this dude. He always thought things like that were funny and they kinda can be, but I wouldn't want to be too revealling.

I guess I really don't have any super funny ones...
08/29/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
The other day, we were having sex, and he's been working on his Topping. So I was all tied up, and he was being all demanding and sexy. And he asks if my legs are ok, so I say yes, and before I can get the whole word out, he loudly says "I DON't CARE" and just keeps railing me.
And out of nowhere, I start laughing hysterically.
I felt so bad, but his face, and the way he said it were just so funny. So he said he wasn't going to keep doing it like that, and we just had normal, non rough and naughty sex.
08/31/2011
Contributor: LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
one time me and my bf were going at it on the bedroom floor next to one of the dressers....well i started to orgasm and lifted my head (he was on top of me) and smacked my eye rights into an open dresser drawer. I got a black eye and every where i went people asked what happened to your eye. so i just told them i ran into something. lol.
09/28/2011
Contributor: The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by MarriedWithSexToys
Since I started the thread I guess I'll be the first to go.

When the wife and I were first dating neither of us had our own place and so we had zero privacy for when we wanted to have a little fun. One night after watching a movie and a ... more
Hey man... Atleast she didnt get bent out of shape with it.

A friend of mine is an emt and did a ride along with the local police. They were in the helicopter searching for a car of a robbery suspect when they found one that matched the discription parked in the park at dark with its parking lights on (which you are not allowed to do around here all parks close at sunset). So they came down and put the spotlight through the windshield to see two teenagers getting busy and then first thinking they were being abducted by aliens then getting arrested.

They cops had pulled in behind the car when the helo came down to hit the car with the light..... Can you imagine. He said it was 4 cars and the helo and the kid and his girlfriend are getting out of the car buck naked to be quesioned. Ofcourse they let them go but I bet that was the last time he ever saw her.
10/04/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
Quote:
Originally posted by LilLostLenore
one time me and my bf were going at it on the bedroom floor next to one of the dressers....well i started to orgasm and lifted my head (he was on top of me) and smacked my eye rights into an open dresser drawer. I got a black eye and every where i ... more
That reminds me of one time me and my boyfriend were having sex on the floor. And I used to have my sex toys in a little wooden jewelry box. He started really getting into it, and suddenly my head started banging repeatedly into the wooden box. He didn't even notice at first. Then he just bent down, and smacked it out of the way. xD
10/06/2011