Have you said no and not really meant it?

markeagleone markeagleone
I pose this question because at times, I have been confused about mixed signals. I was wondering how many have used the good old mix.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have used mixed singles
27  (53%)
I never have used mixed signals
22  (43%)
I have been caught by mixed signals
2  (4%)
I can read the signals pretty well
Total votes: 51
Poll is closed
03/14/2011
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markeagleone markeagleone
I have always been caught. I always take peoples word at face value. If no is what was said, that's what I went by. Unfortunately, I missed out on things because of it. I can't read mixed signals at all!
03/14/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
If I say, "NO" or use a safeword during a scene, I good and goddamn well mean it, and expect things to stop so fast my head spins.

People who say 'no' but mean 'yes' (except in the context where there is another word used to call a halt to the interaction) are people for whom I have no time, I expect people to say what they mean. I don't have time for games and that's a very dangerous game to play.
03/14/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
Quote:
Originally posted by DeliciousSurprise
If I say, "NO" or use a safeword during a scene, I good and goddamn well mean it, and expect things to stop so fast my head spins.

People who say 'no' but mean 'yes' (except in the context where there is another word ... More
I really have to applaud you for your solid convictions! I wish everyone would say what they really wanted. I agree, for some it is a dangerous game. My wife seems to be on solid ground. Thank You for your thoughts!
03/14/2011
danellejohns danellejohns
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I have always been caught. I always take peoples word at face value. If no is what was said, that's what I went by. Unfortunately, I missed out on things because of it. I can't read mixed signals at all!
I am sad and embarrassed to say that I think I have sent you mixed signals before. I guess I never really thought of how that could lead to trouble because I trust you, therefore if I really meant it- you would know the difference.

I am now going to be more mindful of what I am doing/saying. I guess I fall into the trap of "I know what I am really thinking and so should you" when that really isn't the case. I need to make sure I keep on top of my assumptions and see it for what it really is.

I also give praise to Delicious Surprise for being open about her thoughts, it was one of the things that made me realize what I may be doing. The other being that you posted the question as I am sure it was not solely me you were talking about.
03/14/2011
married with children married with children
when I am really tired. I say no because I am too tired to give it my best, even though I still want to do it.
03/15/2011
Scarlette Scarlette
Im guilty of using mixed signals, specially when Im feeling playful. Thankfully my boyfriend knows me well enough when to know when Im flirting with him or when I really mean it.

My body language is usually a dead give away. If I say know, but Im close, even play fighting, it usually means yes.

A definite NO is when I distance myself. Like, "no thanks" and I walk to other side of the room.
03/15/2011
lezergirl lezergirl
I said no once and got talked into it... does that count?
03/15/2011
zeebot zeebot
Quote:
Originally posted by lezergirl
I said no once and got talked into it... does that count?
Yeah same. I don't think it counts, since you meant it initially?
03/15/2011
indiglo indiglo
I have used some mixed signals in the past when I was young. Not on a regular basis, but I have. I would never do that now though because I really don't think that games like that belong in a relationship.
04/17/2011
MaryExy MaryExy
I use mixed signals, but my guy knows when I'm serious. I try to make it obvious with body language whether I really mean no.
04/17/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I do send mixed signals to my husband sometimes. It is part of my charm.

All kidding aside, we are very playful with each other and turnabout is fair play. I try not to do it unless he can see my face and hear the inflection in my tone or notice my flippant body language. And if for some reason, he still isn't picking up what I am laying down, then I just get blunt.

If I am being serious, then no there are no mixed signals. The difference between the two is very clear.
04/17/2011
liilii080 liilii080
I have sent mixed signals but only with close partners who knew I was playing hard to get. In a new relationship or with a stranger you are asking for trouble there.
04/17/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I pose this question because at times, I have been confused about mixed signals. I was wondering how many have used the good old mix.
I play hard to get sometimes...make him beg
04/17/2011
Lady Marmelade Lady Marmelade
If I say "no", it's NO. Always.
04/19/2011
Allstars316 Allstars316
I always second guess myself.
09/13/2012
LilLostLenore LilLostLenore
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I pose this question because at times, I have been confused about mixed signals. I was wondering how many have used the good old mix.
I dont use mixed signals i hate head games.
09/13/2012
PepperPot PepperPot
Quote:
Originally posted by zeebot
Yeah same. I don't think it counts, since you meant it initially?
That's true. My husband knows I can be talked into it sometimes, especially with a little massage thrown into the deal, but then, he's very responsive when I say "no" firmly. What I don't do is use mixed signals myself... I don't pretend not to be interested if I really am. That seems unfair.
09/13/2012
BlooJay BlooJay
I don't use mixed signals. But I think some people could perceive it differently and take it the wrong way.
09/13/2012
ToyGeek ToyGeek
No always means no, and playing games is irresponsible at best.
09/13/2012
Thumper Logic Thumper Logic
Once or twice, in the heat of things. But as a functional rule, no always means no.
09/13/2012
richsam richsam
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I pose this question because at times, I have been confused about mixed signals. I was wondering how many have used the good old mix.
i have from time to time
09/13/2012
null null
Yes, when I as younger, and ashamed of sexual things. I've gotten much better at saying no only when I mean it and asking for what I do want.
09/13/2012
Ex-prude Ex-prude
My grandmother is from Brooklyn and she taught me to be brutally honest. Not always a good thing, but it's how we are. Better than being southern about it and being fake.
09/13/2012
Missmarc Missmarc
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I pose this question because at times, I have been confused about mixed signals. I was wondering how many have used the good old mix.
I have used mixed singles
09/13/2012
mama2007 mama2007
Quote:
Originally posted by markeagleone
I pose this question because at times, I have been confused about mixed signals. I was wondering how many have used the good old mix.
NO means no with me. I said no 6 yrs ago and i was raped. i filed police report. i didnt wanna do anything.

Hubby i do not say no to. if i dont wanna have sex i say so and he respects it
09/13/2012
hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I have said 'NO' and been ignored. My body may have been sending out mixed signals (I had several orgasms while I was being raped), but when I say no, I mean it. I'm not at fault for a biological response outside of my control.
09/28/2012
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 25