Tell off your room mate!

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Tell off your room mate!

chicmichiw chicmichiw
So I have a room mate who isn't very considerate. She takes 1 - 2 hour long showers, which is a killer for the water and heating bill in addition to monopolizing the ONLY bathroom. Problem is, she's always with her girlfriend. I don't want to tell her off in front of her girlfriend and I hate to leave a note (it looks passive-aggressive...) What would you do?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Holy heck! Don't care! Tell her off now!
30
Leave a note.
5
Text her.
1
Other?
11
Total votes: 47 (44 voters)
Poll is closed
02/03/2013
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November November
You can always text her or write her a note saying that you'd like to discuss something alone with her when she has some free time.
02/03/2013
Lavendar Lavendar
I would text or write her a note
02/03/2013
RedKyuubi RedKyuubi
I would tell her you need to talk, set up a time when her GF is not there and then talk
02/03/2013
DigitalSweety DigitalSweety
You don't necessarily have to "tell her off". Even if she's with her girlfriend 100% of the time, just politely mentioning it isn't antagonistic. I've always felt like text messages were just as passive aggressive as notes, and the issue with a "can we talk alone?" text is that it might make her feel anxious or defensive while she wonders what you want to talk about all day.

Just be like "Hey, I was thinking we could cut back on the length of showers since the water bill's been a little high lately". That's not antagonistic, it's not passive aggressive or confrontational, and it's not something that ought to embarrass her in front of her girlfriend. She'll probably catch the gist of it.

That way she can't claim you confronted her in front of her girlfriend, or that you did something passive-aggressive like sending a text/leaving a note, and if she gets argumentative about it THEN you can suggest she chill out and you discuss it later in private. If she doesn't catch a clue, then next time she takes a mega-shower you can send a text about setting up a time to talk about it in-depth. Plus that way she can't complain that it came out of the blue, either.
02/03/2013
joiedejouets joiedejouets
Leave a note before you leave the house to run errands and then they will have time alone to think about it rationally instead of just being mad at you.
02/03/2013
butts butts
You don't have to tell her off necessarily, just let her know that if she wants to spike the heating bill like that, she can pay extra. That's what we did at my old house, my roommate used her space heater constantly and it made the bill go crazy so we asked her to pay more, it's only fair! I would EXPECT to pay extra if I was the one using the majority of the electricity.
02/03/2013
bog bog
Quote:
Originally posted by chicmichiw
So I have a room mate who isn't very considerate. She takes 1 - 2 hour long showers, which is a killer for the water and heating bill in addition to monopolizing the ONLY bathroom. Problem is, she's always with her girlfriend. I don't ...
"Would you mind if we talk in the next room, just you and I?"

I agree with you - no notes! They only make things worse!
02/03/2013
married with children married with children
I would have a chat with her about how there are other people in the house, and you have to share the bathroom.
02/03/2013
Real or memorex Real or memorex
I like the idea of leaving a note saying the two of you need to talk alone some time. It might help to have some idea of how much her use is causing the heating bill to go up - she might even offer to take over the extra costs.
02/03/2013
gsfanatic gsfanatic
I'd definitely talk to her if it's a concern. Being passive aggressive rarely solves anything, while directly confronting the issues can get them solved
02/03/2013
brevado brevado
Just tell her
02/03/2013
Bleu Bleu
Talk to her. Don't text her or leave a note. I have had people do that to me when they want something serious and I HATE it because there is no real communication. I don't think she is ALWAYS with her girlfriend so you can easily find a time to talk to her or text her and ask her if you guys can talk, don't say about what just say it's a general thing.
02/03/2013
MissCandyland MissCandyland
Anytime I need to confront someone, I always start out the conversation with, "I need to talk to you, but I don't want it to be taken the wrong way as I don't want there to be any negativity between us. Our relationship is very important to me, I have just noticed a couple of things..." That usually works with my sisters and my friends. That way I don't start it off with an attitude, which leads to them getting defensive. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
02/04/2013
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I am sorry but I would have to say something to her. I would pull her to the side if her gf is around and speak to her.
02/04/2013
misterazor misterazor
Quote:
Originally posted by chicmichiw
So I have a room mate who isn't very considerate. She takes 1 - 2 hour long showers, which is a killer for the water and heating bill in addition to monopolizing the ONLY bathroom. Problem is, she's always with her girlfriend. I don't ...
two things.
mention it in front of her girlfriend, and you might get some support from the girlfriend.
or you could tell her, while she's with her girlfriend, that you need to talk to her soon about some house stuff.

seems like a minor issue. i had two roomates who sometimes neglected to: do dishes, vacuum, clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, do laundry, go to work, pass out in bed instead of on the couch or living room floor, bath, pay rent...

i no longer have roommates. and never will again.
02/04/2013
bratcat bratcat
Quote:
Originally posted by November
You can always text her or write her a note saying that you'd like to discuss something alone with her when she has some free time.
this is the best idea. if you dont get a response after a couple days, i would confront them directly, but make sure you state it would be best to talk about it alone, and tell them how you feel.
02/04/2013
GONE! GONE!
She probably doesn't know just how long she's in there. Time has a way of getting away in the shower. I think it would be okay to leave a note with the bill but try to talk to her in person.
02/04/2013
Trysexual Trysexual
You need to say something for sure. You could turn the water heater down, so they get cold water. 1-2 hrs is ridiculous.
02/04/2013
captainsgirl captainsgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by chicmichiw
So I have a room mate who isn't very considerate. She takes 1 - 2 hour long showers, which is a killer for the water and heating bill in addition to monopolizing the ONLY bathroom. Problem is, she's always with her girlfriend. I don't ...
text her if you guys canmeet up alone for lunch and talk.
02/04/2013
mjtheprincess mjtheprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by DigitalSweety
You don't necessarily have to "tell her off". Even if she's with her girlfriend 100% of the time, just politely mentioning it isn't antagonistic. I've always felt like text messages were just as passive aggressive as notes, ...
I like this plan. It's nice, not passive aggressive, and should do the trick.
02/04/2013
sweetpea12 sweetpea12
Quote:
Originally posted by chicmichiw
So I have a room mate who isn't very considerate. She takes 1 - 2 hour long showers, which is a killer for the water and heating bill in addition to monopolizing the ONLY bathroom. Problem is, she's always with her girlfriend. I don't ...
You can calmly explain that she should pay more for the water bill and that she should be more considerate because she is living with someone else and should respect them
02/04/2013
Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
I'd tell her off..
02/04/2013
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by chicmichiw
So I have a room mate who isn't very considerate. She takes 1 - 2 hour long showers, which is a killer for the water and heating bill in addition to monopolizing the ONLY bathroom. Problem is, she's always with her girlfriend. I don't ...
I'm sorry, but if I had a roommate who was taking longer than half an hour in the shower, I'd be saying some shit whether or not they had company.

I honestly think that no one should be in the shower longer than 15 minutes. It should never take you that long to shower.

A bath is a different story. Those are meant to take longer and be relaxing (to me).

I'll tell her off for you :p

No, but really, that's absolutely ridiculous. Unless she's going to start paying for a BIGGER share of the water and heating bills, you have GOT to say something to her. That's just rude.
02/04/2013
noway noway
Ask to talk privately. Then just be honest, but not confrontational.
02/04/2013
AwesomeAmanda AwesomeAmanda
I would definitely say something. And if her gf is always around then i would take it as she feels n no need for private conversations and just do it in front of her.
02/04/2013
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 26