Does it matter if the woman asks the man out?

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Does it matter if the woman asks the man out?

Tuesday Tuesday
I disagree with a girlfriend about this and I'd like you, esp. men, to weigh in. My friend says that relationships don't last if the woman asks the guy out first. Her male hairdresser confirmed this for her. But I find that hard to believe.

My husband happened to ask me out first, but says it wouldn't have mattered if I had asked him first. And I just don't know who asked who first for almost every couple I know so I can't prove my hunch that it doesn't matter.

What do you think?
03/01/2009
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Victoria Victoria
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I disagree with a girlfriend about this and I'd like you, esp. men, to weigh in. My friend says that relationships don't last if the woman asks the guy out first. Her male hairdresser confirmed this for her. But I find that hard to ...
I think a lot of men are flattered and impressed when a woman asks them out. In my opinion, it makes the woman seem confidant and the man feel desirable...and if it works out, it makes both parties feel pretty good about themselves. So what if it's not conventional? Nothing is anymore!

My husband and I both felt a connection when we met but I pursued him first and look at us now

Good luck with your research!
03/01/2009
Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
I tihnk that the idea that a relationship will work or fail based on who asked out whom is LAUGHABLE. Seriously, we're not in middle school.
03/01/2009
Nashville Nashville
I asked a guy out before I met my husband- he said it made me seem desperate and overeager, whereas it made me feel like I had some control over my dating life- I took the reins and I went for what I wanted.

It really doesn't matter in this day and age. It also doesn't matter who pays for the date. Relationships are about give and take and it's not a requirement for men to pursue first.

All the talk about- well this is the way it's supposed to be, and it's all about survival of the fittest, etc. The spotted hyena is the perfect example of a strong woman- the females always have the first and last say when it comes to who they mate with, they make the first move after watching the males compete for them and often they deny the males any sex at all. They're absolutely brilliant animals and their mating rituals are all about the female and her wants and needs.
03/01/2009
That Weird Guy That Weird Guy
A relationship would only last if there is a connection between the people involved..

I don't think it would really matter who started what as long as it goes well in the future..
03/01/2009
Tuesday Tuesday
Thank you for confirming my thoughts. Plus my husband says that usually a man waits for a positive signal from a woman before asking and that women often initiate contact by flirting.

It may be that since my friend is 59 and a little conservative that she's remembering how it was when she was 20.
03/01/2009
Ciao. Ciao.
I was asked out by my now fiancee, and we've been together 6 years. It really doesn't matter one bit.
03/01/2009
Sammi Sammi
I asked my husband out first, & we've been together for about 25 years. It may be that since she's older, she thinks the man should be the one to ask first.
03/01/2009
Gary Gary
Different things work differently for different people. If there was one sure fire method to anything having to do with relationships and romance, someone would have figured it out by now and they would be selling it on the internet.
03/01/2009
Epiphora Epiphora
lol. Sorry, that's my only response.
03/02/2009
Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
If I waited for men to ask me out, I'd never get laid.
03/02/2009
Liz2 Liz2
I asked my current boyfriend out first. We shared many common interests but he seemed so shy. Don't even think about it now but so glad I did.
03/03/2009
Sir Sir
To me, who cares? It doesn't matter either way. For me and my partner, we never cordially asked each other "out." We were just together, and I basically said to her, "We're together now." I'm quite demanding, so it was me in our case. But in some, who cares? And also, in the case of homosexual relationships, it doesn't matter either way as well.
06/13/2009
bobowaxer bobowaxer
Balderdash! How in the world could that possibly influence the quality or duration of the relationship? It just doesn't matter.
03/08/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I disagree with a girlfriend about this and I'd like you, esp. men, to weigh in. My friend says that relationships don't last if the woman asks the guy out first. Her male hairdresser confirmed this for her. But I find that hard to ...
Thats silly, either one should be able to ask someone out. Sometimes guys think you are out of their league when theyre not so if you wait for them, you will wait forever.
03/10/2011
Curves Curves
if they both like each other, it doesn't matter.
04/10/2011
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Didn't matter to me
04/10/2011
barrettbn2 barrettbn2
It doesn't really matter. I have never asked a guy out but I honestly doubt that if I did it would matter to them either.
04/10/2011
K101 K101
I'm not a man, but I totally, 100% disagree with that. I don't think it matters who asks who out. There's nothing wrong with the woman being confident enough to do so. I haven't ever really asked, but I am the one who initiated everything with my current partner and we've been together for 5 years. Had I not came onto him, I don't think he would've had the nerve to hunt me down to get in touch with me like he did.
04/16/2011
indiglo indiglo
Have to agree with the comments made so far. It does not make a difference who asks who out. What makes a relationship last is the 2 people and the connection they may or may not share. I came on to my man originally, and he thanks me everyday, because otherwise we probably would not have gotten together. After I came on to him, he proceeded to pursue me without hesitation until it "took".
04/16/2011
Tuesday Tuesday
Alzheimers is kicking in already it seems. I just saw this topic on the forums and thought 'What a silly question. Who started this thread?' then saw to my horror that it was me!
04/16/2011
GravyCakes GravyCakes
Quote:
Originally posted by Tuesday
I disagree with a girlfriend about this and I'd like you, esp. men, to weigh in. My friend says that relationships don't last if the woman asks the guy out first. Her male hairdresser confirmed this for her. But I find that hard to ...
i asked my bf out 1st & we've been together for almost 3 yrs. he said he had liked me, but couldn't ever work up the nerve to make a move. he also said thank god for my "go gettem" attitude... which i don't really think i have.
05/06/2011
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 20