WTF!!Man your dating still hangs out with his ex?-what do you do?!

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WTF!!Man your dating still hangs out with his ex?-what do you do?!

shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
shySEXXaddict
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So I started seeing this guy,almost for 5months now. I used to go to school with and have realized that we have a lot in common.He was just my fuck friend but Ive started getting some pretty serious feelings for him and generally will do anything for him.Acouple weeks ago he asked if I wanted to make it official and I was so happy but then got confused because he went on to tell me about his ex(that he apparently still luvs) and how shes been coming around.Well the next day I thought everythinng was good and he was calling me from this number(i had a feeling it was hers)then when we met up he acted all cold and it staid like this for days until I confronted him.So I still have no idea whats going on between us.THEN lastnite he used my phone in the other room and as we were hanging out my phone rang..it was her!He went outside and talked to her and then came back in saying he had to go pay her for the storage unit they have together!But he just totally left and acted like it wasnt a big deal she called my phone..I know he knew I was upset but still left and never came back.I feel that if it was just giving her money then he coulda met her downstairs and came back up.It sux because my kids like him, I care alot for him,and ive turned many guys because I have feelings for him.Hes suppose to come by tonite I wana confront him but dont know what to say.Am I being played?Am i over reacting?PLease let me know what I should do..
09/23/2011
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shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by shySEXXaddict
So I started seeing this guy,almost for 5months now. I used to go to school with and have realized that we have a lot in common.He was just my fuck friend but Ive started getting some pretty serious feelings for him and generally will do anything for ...
ok so as i was writing this post he just stop by before work..i told him i havent slept and he told me I seemed miserable.I just said I was tired but then I couldnt help it I started chuckling and told him it was just messed up and he knew y I was upset.He said its not like that.I asked him if he was still coming over and as he ran outa here he said he'd stop by later.So I guess I know how this is going to go..he wont be back!He wont wana deal with the situation...which sux because I feel even more heartbroken because I think it just ended whatever we had but I guess in the long run its better now than being played forever and hurt later on
09/23/2011
Peggi Peggi
First off, when I first started dating my current partner, I went through a similar issue. We were dating and it wasn't just the ex, it was girls he was talking to before we made it official. He even had his ex (who the DAY we started talking, he had just asked back out and she turned him down, and then a few days after it was official she changed her mind and he turned HER down) stay the night so they could get drunk and hang out, without me there.

Odds are most women would get upset and/or jealous over that, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt...

And now, she and I are best friends, I trust that nothing ever happened between them, and she talks more to me than she does to him. Both of their stories match up, and he told me nothing happened. Sure, it would be possible that she or any of the other girls he was around when I wasn't had actually had sex with him or that he's cheated on me, but I trust him.

That's not to say that in your situation he doesn't still want to be with the ex, or that he's not playing you behind your back, but that isn't always the case. It's all about the person. Just like when we were first together, I gave him the same benefit of the doubt I expected, as I hung out with my ex's, had a few guy friends over (though they didn't stay the night) and spent a lot of time with them during the week (when I couldn't see him because of work) just to hang out. I never did anything behind his back, and I expect him to trust me when I say so.

But...I will hope for you that it will work out and that you won't be hurt in the end.
09/23/2011
WierdAl WierdAl
Quote:
Originally posted by Peggi
First off, when I first started dating my current partner, I went through a similar issue. We were dating and it wasn't just the ex, it was girls he was talking to before we made it official. He even had his ex (who the DAY we started talking, ...
I think your being played! I can't put my finger on what he could be using you for. Unless he's using you to make her jealous. That might be the whole thing.

Women can be hard to figure out. As a guy I will be the first to say we aren't always so simple either. I wish you luck.

"If it's meat to be, it will happen" Give it time, don't think about it and in time, time will tell. I know hearing this sucks, however its life.
09/23/2011
Ghost Ghost
Too much drama....
09/24/2011
indiglo indiglo
I would tell him to stop hanging out with his ex, end of story. If you don't like how you're being treated then stand up for yourself and say so. There should not have to be any kind of investigating or private detective work in a relationship.
09/24/2011
The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary The-IT-Guy-And-My-Secretary
Quote:
Originally posted by shySEXXaddict
So I started seeing this guy,almost for 5months now. I used to go to school with and have realized that we have a lot in common.He was just my fuck friend but Ive started getting some pretty serious feelings for him and generally will do anything for ...
Honestly this guy sounds like baggage and baggage doesn't equal happy.
09/24/2011
K101 K101
I'm going to be honest OK?

I say get rid of him as fast as you possibly can. Run for your life. I know you may not want to hear that, but you've already gotten your kids involved with him you say? Well he's already showing that he you aren't important enough to him and he doesn't care any more than to use YOUR phone to call his EX?! Wow. I'd pepper spray his ass while breaking up with him. What I'm saying is he's clearly not mature enough, responsible or considerate of your feelings. He's disrespecting you and that's a nasty thing. But if he cares so little and you say your kids already like him, don't let him break their hearts too. It's not fair to them and he is not worth it. If he can't get over his ex then he isn't good enough for YOU. Not the other way around. He sounds like an immature pompous, arrogant SOB.

If you put up with this now then it will only get worse and he'll only walk all over you and disrespect you even more and quite frankly anyone who disrespects me is not good enough for me to bring around my kids and that is something that I take extremely serious. When it comes to them, no man should ever come first. Think about how he may decide to up and leave after you all are attached. He may not care enough not to hurt you all, but you have to. Kids don't deserve that kind of hurt. When a kid likes someone, they really like them and can get attached quickly and easily. They usually don't know pain like adults do. They usually don't know that people leave and never come back to see them. I'm just saying you really have more than your heart to think about and he's not good enough for your heart to break over, but realizing that your kids cuold get hurt too will help you make the decision you need. It is YOUR decision, but I just don't think any woman should allow this kind of treatment from a man.

I had a boyfriend years ago who I thought was serious about me and I eventually learned he was calling his ex and she started calling me and saying he was cheating on me with her. As stupid as he is, of course he swore it was a lie. I gave him one chance to tell the truth and I done some investigating of my own. I asked his ex, if she could provide proof. She then described the clothes he was wearing, the boxers I BOUGHT HIM! And the damn T-shirt I bought his sorry punk a**! I told him he tried making a fool out of me and that I was far too smart and too good for that and I left. After he was over her, he called me for 3 years straight trying to patch things up. I finally changed my number.

I hope you find the courage and strength you need to do the right thing. Sticking around seems like it will bring a change with time, but that rarely happens. I say the best thing to do is save yourself and your kids a heck of a lot of heart ache and kick him to the curb... and kick hard!
09/24/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Hmmmm, unfortunately it sounds like he is using you as a door mat! He wants his cake and eat it too, but that wouldn't sit well with me.
If a guy is serious about me, he bloody better not go racing off everytime an ex calls.
Sounds like he doesn't want to give either of you up, but seems to me as though she is the top priority to him. He is swaying between the two of you, but if you are both wanting him at the same time, seems like she wins.

You can do so much better chickie
I know it's not going to be easy at first cause you have fallen for him - as well as your kids, but you deserve someone who will focus only on you and not every other girl hanging around.
Find someone you can fully trust!
09/24/2011
Ansley Ansley
You're the same person whose child sleeps in the bed, correct? I think that's really the crux of the issue here, not the ex. The ex is just a really convenient excuse. It's unfortunate, but you really can't expect someone who isn't in love with you to deal with those things. And as much as it hurts, I really don't think five months is long enough to be in love with someone (there are rare occurrences, sure).

In all honesty, my advice to you is to be very protective of your children and who they are around. Just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you have to introduce them to your children. It's so much harder for a child to understand why people come and go in one's life, especially if they like the person.
09/24/2011
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
You're the same person whose child sleeps in the bed, correct? I think that's really the crux of the issue here, not the ex. The ex is just a really convenient excuse. It's unfortunate, but you really can't expect someone who ...
I agree it takes time to fall in luv with someone..I didnt say i was in luv with him..i said I have strong feelings for him,and I agree with the whole sleeping in bed thing thats why I was asking for advice on how to get him outa bed with me!it messed things up with the babies father(even though he passed away we didnt break up)I would expect the same with someone that doesnt have a bind with him.And I introduced my kids to after 3months of dating and he seemed serious thats why I introduced him to them.I take that very seriously as I dont want to mess with them since my last partner(baby daddy)died.
09/24/2011
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Thanx for the advice everyone!
09/24/2011
shySEXXaddict shySEXXaddict
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Too much drama....
lmao...I know sorry!Im actually a drama free person most of the time..I try to be anyways!!
09/24/2011
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 9