Is there any right way to Role Play?

Natasha Love Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role playing all wrong. Someone please help me i need to know this is costing me a great deal!
05/02/2013
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Natasha Love Natasha Love
Seriously! i need to know.
05/02/2013
Sammi Sammi
I don't know that there's a right way or wrong way, and I'm not sure what scenario you're playing out, but it's usually a good idea to discuss what you're playing out and what the expectations are - have you done this at all?
05/02/2013
Fluke Fluke
It's pretty embarrassing to talk about.

I think in order to have great roleplay sex you need to commit to it. If you think it is silly or stupid and don't act the part, your partner will pick up on it and be turned off. So really act the part.

I'm not saying you are doing this but someone cannot just throw on a costume and start having sex, you gotta have some scenario/story going on. For instance if her fantasy is to be with a stranger, don't fall for her first pass, make her seduce you. Have her describe her fantasy in detail, even take down notes, lol.
05/03/2013
MizzMistress MizzMistress
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
I can assure you there is no "wrong" way to role play.
Role playing is virtually just, being someone else. Just have fun with it. Do a different "scene" every time, maybe she just didn't enjoy the roles? I don't know.
And like another poster said, its not about the costume you wear, you need to commit to it and become the role. Lose yourself in it.
05/05/2013
MizzMistress MizzMistress
Quote:
Originally posted by Fluke
It's pretty embarrassing to talk about.

I think in order to have great roleplay sex you need to commit to it. If you think it is silly or stupid and don't act the part, your partner will pick up on it and be turned off. So really act ... More
I 100% agree with you!
A lot of people think its about the costumes you wear but its not.
You can honestly role play without spending a dime on outfits.
Its about having fun and pretending you're someone else! Practice an accent like british or something and pretend you're there on vacation and found a sexy someone you want to "hook up" with.
05/05/2013
purpleflower1972 purpleflower1972
Whatever way you enjoy is the right way
05/05/2013
SydneyScreams SydneyScreams
As long as you commit to your role and enjoy what you're doing, I don't think so!!
05/05/2013
Robespierrethecat Robespierrethecat
As long as you and your partner(s) are on the same page, do whatever you want!
05/05/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
"When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing..." This tells me that you two have some communication problems. It's not very respectful of your thoughts and feelings to just ignore you when it's a topic she feels uncomfortable discussing. Perhaps you could find a better time to discuss it with her. I find that when lying in bed at night before sleeping, in the dark, it can be easier to discuss difficult subjects--you're both relaxed, comfortable, and physically close, and the inability to see and be seen can lessen any embarrassment.

The main thing involved in roleplaying "the right way" is consensuality. You want to make sure that everything you two are doing is desired by both of you. A safe word is a great idea, even if BDSM isn't involved in your play--this is a word or phrase you each choose that will be easy to remember, and can't be mistaken for part of the game. I kind of like the one used on an episode of Family Guy: Lois tells Peter, "Your safe word is banana," and then zips the mouth-slit on his leather hood closed. All joking aside, though, if someone's speaking ability will be blocked, you'll need to have a safe gesture as well.

I would suggest at least discussing what general themes turn you both on, and what your limits are--what things you each do not want to do, and whether there are any things you each really do want to do, during the scene. That way you can both feel comfortable, knowing you're doing the right things!
05/06/2013
JinxPinx JinxPinx
Quote:
Originally posted by FieryRed
"When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing..." This tells me that you two have some communication problems. It's not very respectful of your thoughts and feelings to just ignore you when it's a ... More
i like the in bed, in the dark idea.. being shy, i'll hafta remember that hehe ^__^
05/06/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by JinxPinx
i like the in bed, in the dark idea.. being shy, i'll hafta remember that hehe ^__^
It worked great for me, back when I was more shy! (I still have my shy times, too.)
05/06/2013
oohlookasquirrel oohlookasquirrel
I can think of some wrong ways to roleplay:

Discussing with your partner what you want to do, and then intentionally doing something that your partner asked that you not do.

Quitting before things are finished to shame your partner for encouraging such a stupid scenario.

Jumping into a kinky or potentially dangerous scene without first discussing (and researching if necessary) safety and boundaries.
05/07/2013
Hentialover Hentialover
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
I don't think so. Aside from making sure that you and your partner are both agreeing to the rules and limits, There no wrong way to RP with someone. of course, the more you chat with your lover, the more you will learn about how they prefer to do it. I think it's all about what you want to do, and not what "should" be done
05/10/2013
Beautiful-Disaster Beautiful-Disaster
I wouldn't be able to role play. I wouldn't be serious whatsoever! I really don't know how anyone can be serious.. Lol.
05/10/2013
KrissyNovacaine KrissyNovacaine
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
I don't think there is a wrong way in general, but it may not be what your partner is looking for.
05/10/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful-Disaster
I wouldn't be able to role play. I wouldn't be serious whatsoever! I really don't know how anyone can be serious.. Lol.
I hope you didn't intend your post to be as mocking of people who do enjoy roleplaying as it sounded.

If it was a serious question, then here's your answer: people can be serious in roleplaying when they feel comfortable enough with themselves and their partner(s), and when the role is a good one for them, one that lets them act out another side of themselves that they don't normally show.
05/10/2013
SexyPenis SexyPenis
Quote:
Originally posted by Beautiful-Disaster
I wouldn't be able to role play. I wouldn't be serious whatsoever! I really don't know how anyone can be serious.. Lol.
It's acting. There's good acting and bad acting. I've also heard it compared to improv because you're creating an experience based on some set themes or props, but most of the dialog is not scripted (unless you have a very elaborate fantasy on your hands!). I can't honestly say this has worked for my partner and I very well yet, but I think the idea is sexy and it's something that I would like to work towards. The main thing is to acknowledge that it will take some practice. Don't get discouraged immediately, understand it may take some time to get things "right" for the scene, and one of my favorite pieces of advice is to have not just safe words but the ability to call a "timeout" to get the scene back on track, request something specific, mention something out of character, or even just to laugh for a minute and get it out before it ruins your overall experience, then you can call "time in" and it's back on.

I agree with oohlookasquirrel, there are some bad ways to do role play, but basically it comes down to respect. You have to respect your own boundaries (don't agree to something if you have strong objections) and your partner's (don't force them to do something if the partner has strong objections, and realize that boundaries can change during improvisation. I would recommend erring on the side of caution: don't go past original boundaries (you are more open to things when turned on than you normally would be) and if the boundaries become more restrictive you have to obey them, there is no shaming, either to go further ("but you agreed before!") or not to go as far ("I can't believe you want to really do that"). After the scene, discuss what went right and what went wrong to figure out what changed and why. Sex and sometimes especially fantasies are intensely personal, so be aware they can be EXTREMELY difficult to talk about. I have also found that talking in the dark before sleeping is helpful for communicating (and initiating sex in general). Yes, humans are intensely visual creatures but we also rely on body language a lot and the body can be saying something different than the face. "Listening" with your bodies can tell you more many times, and you won't overreact to a momentary facial expression in the dark. That might even work for first time role play, because it might not seem as far fetched if you can provide your own visuals, then work up to the light on.

Good luck!
05/10/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by SexyPenis
It's acting. There's good acting and bad acting. I've also heard it compared to improv because you're creating an experience based on some set themes or props, but most of the dialog is not scripted (unless you have a very elaborate ... More
VERY well-said, SexyPenis!
05/10/2013
GONE! GONE!
If no one is having fun, I guess that's the wrong way.
05/10/2013
xilliannax xilliannax
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
If you're not doing it with dice, you're doing it wrong :-P
05/15/2013
LadyALT69 LadyALT69
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
I think it all depends on the partner accepting the idea of role playing that's all I got to say
05/15/2013
gsfanatic gsfanatic
Unfortunately, the right way is whatever works for you and your partner. Try a few things and ask for clear feedback
05/15/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by xilliannax
If you're not doing it with dice, you're doing it wrong :-P
Bahaha! Hmmm, I still have my pearly-white set...maybe they should be used the way one would use ben wa/Kegel balls?
05/16/2013
dancingduo dancingduo
I don't their is a wrong way but some comments are great. Do not laugh or they will think you are laughing at them. Doesn't make you want to try new things.
05/16/2013
JADE76 JADE76
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
do not think there is a wrong way its however you prefer
05/17/2013
KatPawz2003 KatPawz2003
Quote:
Originally posted by Natasha Love
Hi, I was wondering if there is a right or wrong way to role play? I was never really told i was good or not. When i asked the question she just changes the topic like I've said nothing, Which got me thinking that i might be doing the whole role ... More
The only right way to do it is what works for both of you. If you really feel like you are doing something wrong with it, discuss the expectations of your side of it first. That way you both know exactly what each other is looking for.
05/21/2013
Total posts: 27
Unique posters: 21