Originally posted by
I've done it twice & in both, my needs stopped being met & they weren't willing to meet them. so, I won't move in w/ anyone again.
what is the reason behind wanting to move in together? also, what is the expected outcome?
@Edeneve, according to my mother, when you are in love, you want to be with that person all the time. Since I've never been in love, I can't say one way or the other. However, I would be unlikely at this point in my life to want to live with someone else. Maybe that would change if I fell in love, but for now, I am happy living by myself (well, with all the cats, but, no other person
). I suspect I'm set in my ways and that the ideal situation would be to each have our own places and only spend as much time as we want together. In many ways I agree with the old saying "familiarity breeds contempt" and I think I would rather have someone on their best behavior all the time and let them be a slob or whatever at home when I'm not around, lol!
But, to answer your other question, I think the expected outcome is that when living together, you have the most access to each other. Otherwise, you miss a lot of the time together because of work, getting ready for work and sleeping. You have more opportunity to have sex with them when you sleep there. I also think finances have to play a role in the decision, too. Why keep up two houses, or whatever, when you can consolidate things? But that's one of the situations I am leery of in case things tank! I think many people expect to get married after trying the living together thing, or they plan to stay together forever. I think "playing house" sounds fun, until what happened to you happens. Then it's like, "What the hell? I would be happier alone than ticked off all the time!" You do
find out things about a person when living with them that you never would otherwise. And that's where that saying I mentioned comes in!
So, to answer the discussion question (finally, lol), It's too hard to sy because some people mesh really fast and might have had a lot of time together to get to know each other in a short number of calendar days. Others keep it superficial for a long time, or simply don't have schedules that allow for many hours spent together. I do think there is still less likelihood of it lasting if people move in within a month or two of meeting. I guess it's only appropriate when both of you really want it and are on the same page. Otherwise, if someone feels pushed, they will start to resent being "pushed into it" at some point.
Sorry for the novel! OMG, I've taken over Kendra's role! LOL! Just kidding!