So is there hope?

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So is there hope?

Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I'm sure a lot of you have been where I am (again) today. Looking at a future that no longer includes someone I love very very much because he's simply no longer capable of being with me for reasons not really related to "us". And while I've been alone before and know that in a few days, and in a few weeks, it will not hurt like this anymore, I have this constant nagging fear that there is no one else there compatible with me and I will never have the connection I have with him again. People are telling me that this doesn't happen - that life can't end at 28 and that there is always someone else - can someone please help me out by telling me they've been somewhere similar to where I am and there really are good things to come?
04/28/2011
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Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Eesh...starting to think the answer is no
04/28/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I'm so sorry Tori.

I don't feel that I've had enough life experience with matters like this to be able to speak on it very well, but I will tell you there are good things to come, because you are a great person. It does suck now, but it will get better. I can't promise that you'll have that exact same connection, but you are young, and you will find someone else and be happy again. And if you need an ear, I'm always around.

Much love and hugs
04/28/2011
Taylor Taylor
I'm sorry you're feeling so hurt right now. It will take awhile to heal but I'm very sure that you will be able to feel connected to someone else again.

Whenever I'm feeling heartbroken my dad always told me that "every pot has a crooked lid that fits it." That is how pots are made. So when you are ready you can go look for a few more lids until you find the one that fits. Don't rush the process though, because that can leave you even more hurt.
04/28/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Baby, it's going to get better. Concentrate on healing now. Sometimes a clean break is better than it dragging on for a long time. It hurts like hell, but then you have a clean cut to heal.

Hugs and love, sweetie.
04/28/2011
toxie m toxie m
There is absolutely hope. Just try to survive the initial horribleness that is right now and soon enough it'll start to fade and become less acute. Great connections are hard to forge and I have definitely been where you're at, just wondering if it's worth all the effort to try all over again with someone new and/or if it's even possible. The answer is, invariably, that it's both possible and worth it and all you need is time. Just breathe, lovely lady
04/28/2011
indiglo indiglo
There is absolutely hope. And not just a little hope, but TONS of it! I had to end a 5 year relationship in my 20's. He was the first person I loved, and when we were in a good place, I really saw a future with him. I was single for a really long time after that. I dated a few guys here and there, but nothing that amounted to anything. Fast forward to about 10 years later... I met a wonderful that I love SO MUCH MORE than my previous "love". We have a MUCH better relationship, much more open communication and MUCH better sex. So things will get better, and you will find someone when the time is right. Don't rush yourself. Focus on feeling each emotion you're dealing with. Once you're healed from this, you will find love again. And my guess is that it will be a much better kind of love, because you'll be more mature and ready for it. Best wishes!
04/28/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
Tori, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but believe me the light is there. When you're feeling down like this you need to remember this: Falling down is a part of life. Getting back up is living.

Also, I'm not sure if you believe in a higher power or not, but I am a firm believer that if He leads me to it, He'll lead me through it. God isn't going to put you in a situation that you can't handle. He knows it's only going to make you stronger.

Maybe this partner isn't the one that's intended for you. Maybe there is one out there that is better. One that you will have an even stronger connection with. I know it's happened to me. I was seeing this man, even left my ex-husband for him because of the connection he and I shared. Then my current husband came back into my life and the connection that we share is far beyond anything I've ever shared with any one else. So even though things didn't turn out the way I planned, it worked out the way it was meant to. It always does hun.
04/28/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I'm sure a lot of you have been where I am (again) today. Looking at a future that no longer includes someone I love very very much because he's simply no longer capable of being with me for reasons not really related to "us". And ...
Awww honey the forums are filld with drek as usual...NO you are not alone and your someone (or even someones) is (are) looking just as hard for you! Take this time to really look inside and figure out why you are attracted to men who aren't able to give you what you need. I found one lifepartner at 15 the other at 38 so that just goes to show you that you aren't too old or meant to be alone for the rest of your life.

Meanwhile love yourself, you're in the perfect place for this here at EF! Lots of happy thoughts and many warm hugs from me and all the others here will help I hope.
One nice thing about life is change...it's really the only constant! gOOD THINGA ARE coming just have faith and patience.
04/28/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Thank you all. I still do feel so freakin lost... My future was taken out from under me and I'm really not sure where I'm going or what to do with myself now. Unfortunately, nothing is appealing or distracting. I just want my life back - I want to understand how someone that couldn't live without me yesterday can cut me off from communication today with no warning. I just don't get it.
04/28/2011
liilii080 liilii080
I'm sorry you feel this way. When my first love couldn't even bother to break up with me (he just disappeared) I wondered the same thing. I wondered how it was that he could just drop what we had and leave me without so much as an explanation to what had gone wrong. Some people, it seems, are able to put walls around their heart like that. It's such a kick in the pants to go from planning a future together to looking down what appears to be a lonely road.

But it's not a lonely road. There is hope and until you find your next great love, there will be friends and family who walk with you. Right now, it's ok not to know what you want because you are healing and the feeling won't last forever. Pretty soon, you will wake up and things won't feel so bad and you'll start to have an interest in old hobbies and new ones. You're still on the journey so try not to be too hard on yourself. We're all here for you.
04/28/2011
Retro Retro
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
I'm sure a lot of you have been where I am (again) today. Looking at a future that no longer includes someone I love very very much because he's simply no longer capable of being with me for reasons not really related to "us". And ...
First off, no one can make you happy if you aren't happy. Take this time to figure you out. Yes, it is hard. I am coming to the end myself and it sucks. I don't see my future anymore but I can see who I want to be and what I want to do. Take a dance class, get "dolled up" and strut your stuff. It really is hard but this is time for you and right now you can be your own best friend or worst enemy. I hope everything works out for you and stay strong.
04/28/2011
Brandi Rouxxx Brandi Rouxxx
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
Thank you all. I still do feel so freakin lost... My future was taken out from under me and I'm really not sure where I'm going or what to do with myself now. Unfortunately, nothing is appealing or distracting. I just want my life back - I ...
Maybe cutting off communication is the only way he can get over you. Talking to you and facing you may be too hard for him.
04/28/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Baby, I have been there, done that, got the tshirt, moved on and then.. survived.

and I know you will also.

I found it helped to write. an anonymous public blog, a private for your eyes only blog. whatever. just go, put it out there. in a few weeks/months when the hurt is gone and you are past this stage you will look back and (probably) enjoy deleting the page.

another thing that helps (especially seeing the weekend is here) go have some girl time. Call up your girlfriends and have a night out. get out of the house, do your hair and make up. even if it only lasts 5 mins, for that 5 mins you feel like a million bucks. if you dont want to paint the town red, go to a friends house and have a few drinks, shoot the shit, laugh. LAUGH. sometimes youll cry. a good friend will let you get it out, and crack a joke after to make you smile. Just get out. away from the memories, the pain, the what ifs.

above all else, heal. you can and you will. it may take time, or no time at all. everyone is different. but you will be fine. This too shall pass. *HUGE hugs*
04/28/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I can't really really add more advice than: "That's what she said" (cuz most of the people above are of the female/girl/woman persuasion).

I thought my life was romantically over at 28...then I met Cynthia.

"This too shall pass"

*HUGS*
04/28/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I went through a painful divorce - aren't they all painful! I committed myself to not date for 1 year to make sure that I was over it and my mind was clear for what was coming next.

It was the best decision I ever made, on day 366 I started dating and enjoyed that scene for 10 years before finding my soul mate. Seems like a long journey - but I wasn't looking for 'a replacement' - it was all about letting the chips fall where they may. I dated many very nice women and had a great time over those 10 years.

Good luck to you - time heals - don't be in a hurry.
04/28/2011
markeagleone markeagleone
I went through a bad break-up and divorce. I thought my world was over, but then I met my wife now. I only look for better things to come, now! You will go on to better days.
04/29/2011
Total posts: 17
Unique posters: 14