Who has been in a interracial relationship/has considered it?

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Who has been in a interracial relationship/has considered it?

Illusional Illusional
I was just wondering how people felt about interracial relationships across the board. I know you guys are open-minded people, but you never know.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have considered an interracial relationship
79
I currently am/was in an interracial relationship and it was fine
119
I currently am/was in a interracial relationship and it was awful
12
I personally would not consider an interracial relationship
18
I have been in an interracial relationship and would never consider it again
4
Just other
26
Total votes: 258 (227 voters)
Poll is closed
10/30/2010
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Illusional Illusional
I currently am in an interracial relationship and it's pretty dandy.
However, people treat us like crap. We've been together three years and it just seems to disgust people. Its kind of scary.

We had black males throw food at his car proclaiming he took "their women"

I've had a black woman see me kissing on him and said "Is that your boyfriend?" and I was like "Yes!" And she's like "You SHOULDN'T be proud of that. It makes you look like a weak black woman."

And so on. 2010, I kinda thought we'd be done with this bullshit.
It makes it hard for us to go out and he's scared sometimes of kissing me in public or anything. We've protested, called the cops, everything but... I just don't get it.
In a world that's so open... am I the only one who is okay with us being two different colors?
10/30/2010
Blinker Blinker
For a while I dated a black guy named Jeff. Not too long after I graduated high school, and I ran into Jeff at a bar. Thanks to alcohol being a truth serum, I told him I'd always had a crush on him in school. He was incredibly sweet and told me kind of the same thing, and we ended up hooking up that night and continued to see each other for a few months (he was so amazing in bed!). He once told me one of the best compliments I ever heard: "You got a hell of an ass for a white girl. Don't you ever lose it." I adored him and didn't care what other people thought, and in GA, people talked a bit. We eventually broke it off just because we were growing into two different people. He now goes to the University of GA and is following a career in sports. We keep in touch on Facebook and are still friends and still reminisce about the old days. To me, I never stopped and thought "Hey, this is interracial!", I just went with what I wanted and I wanted to be with who I wanted to be with.
10/30/2010
Illusional Illusional
Yeah. I don't see my boyfriend as "Some white guy"
And honestly I would've thought Maryland would be more okay with it, but I was really wrong.
I don't see color really. I like who I like.
But.. having a woman spit on me? It was insane.
10/30/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
I am currently in an interracial relationship D is half black. He actually looks middle eastern. Before we moved to San Francisco people would treat us like shit, shouting obscenities at us, etc.

I've been in other interracial relationships before as well and have loved it. I love the difference in culture, etc.

I think there's nothing wrong with it. I think it's wonderful actually. While I value differences in culture and put a lot of importance in preserving culture there's not a damn thing wrong with blending it as well!
10/30/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
I currently am in an interracial relationship and it's pretty dandy.
However, people treat us like crap. We've been together three years and it just seems to disgust people. Its kind of scary.

We had black males throw food at his ...
Oh my gosh, that's so horrible! Yeah, you'd think people would be way over the whole race thing! People need to grow up. Sounds like their real problem was jealousy.

And I've only ever been in one relationship so far in my life and it wasn't interracial. But half the people I ever had crushes on growing up were black, hispanic, asian, or middle-eastern. Not only is this a well mixed military town but in this particular region, african americans are actually a population majority. Race never made a difference to me and I never even understood the history of prejudice with it until middle school. So when I learned people would hate others based on their skin, language, or cultural background, I thought the world had gone mad.
10/30/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Yeah. I don't see my boyfriend as "Some white guy"
And honestly I would've thought Maryland would be more okay with it, but I was really wrong.
I don't see color really. I like who I like.
But.. having a woman spit on me? It was insane.
Someone spit on you? That's awful! People really suck sometimes.
10/30/2010
Persephone Nightmare Persephone Nightmare
I *considered* going out with a multi-racial guy in my old High School (not the one that I met Synthetik at, before I moved there) named Ray if that counts (I think his Mom was White, and his Dad African-American). He was a good person, don't get me wrong, and he *really* wanted to be with me, but two things kept us from being together:

1) I mainly saw him as a friend, I didn't have any feelings towards him in that way. But honestly I probably still would have given him at least a chance, had it not been for:

2) My Dad and Stepmom. I was living with them at the time and lets just say they are a bad bunch. Not to mention about as racist as you can get. If they saw someone in an interracial relationship on TV or out somewhere, they'd talk about how "You can't mix breeds" which pissed me off so much, seeing as I think if you truly love someone, then stuff like that shouldn't matter.

I think interracial relationships are just as fine as non-interracial relationships. My sister married a really nice guy she met in the Navy named Jorge, who is Hispanic (and yes, my Dad's side of the family is probably appalled by that especially since they also had an adorable baby *In mock terror* "Gasp! The Horror!").

The only reason why I say I wouldn't consider it now, is because I'm taken by Synthetik, who is the same race as I (White), but if he were a different race, I'd still love him. I believe that true love knows no racial barriers (and the same could be said for just about any other difference too)

/End of Text Wall, lol
10/30/2010
Illusional Illusional
My mom thinks I need a Good Strong Christian Black Man who is Stern to straighten me out.

She thinks mixing of the "Breeds" is wrong as well.
10/30/2010
Trashley Trashley
I picked other, just because I don't really get why a question was needed. An interracial relationship is just a relationship. It's like asking if you've ever considered a relationship with a redhead. Never really thought SPECIFICALLY about the societal pros and cons of dating a redhead, but I'm sure if I met one that I liked I'd be down as fuck. Same with blondes; same with brunettes. If there's a person I meet that I like, let's fuck and see where it goes. I don't see how race enters into it whatsoever.
10/30/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Trashley
I picked other, just because I don't really get why a question was needed. An interracial relationship is just a relationship. It's like asking if you've ever considered a relationship with a redhead. Never really thought SPECIFICALLY ...
I asked because some people obviously have an issue with it.
I don't really care what color you are.
I mean, maybe if you were blue, I'd stare for a bit.
But, it is silly for people to seperate relationships like that
But where my boyfriend lives they seperate them.
10/30/2010
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Trashley
I picked other, just because I don't really get why a question was needed. An interracial relationship is just a relationship. It's like asking if you've ever considered a relationship with a redhead. Never really thought SPECIFICALLY ...
The question is needed because Illusional has experienced outright hatred because she fell in love with a man. She is wondering if she is alone in this fight and wondering if she will be judged harshly because she is in love with a white man and she is a strong black woman. It's no different than the 101 questions about whether anyone has had or would have group sex. It's a valid question.

I have always known that if I fell in love with a man of color I would not be treated well by my family. My Grandfather died believing that the good days ended when black man could walk next to my grandmother and not tip his hat respectfully just because she was white. Still I was determined to love whomever I loved and not walk away from love regardless of the opinions of others. I fell in love with Sigel when I was 15. We are both white as wonder bread! He was the man I loved, though. I fell in love with Arch who is blonde and blue eyed wonder bread white as well...do I have a preference for white men? I'd have to say yes I do. Is it because I'm racist? I don't think so...if I met a man of a different race (or woman for that matter) that I could love then I'd love then regardless of their skin color. I have nothing against men of color just never met an unattached man with whom sparks flew, ya know?
I don't rule out the possibility as I have had a few firey flings with strong black women and I love them!
10/30/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
Race shouldn't matter, but unfortunately it sometimes does.

Not in the relationship itself, but in people's reactions to it, because unfortunately racism exists, and being blind to it won't make it go away. There's no force on Earth that would keep me from being with the person I loved, if I fell in love with someone, but I think if a white person is getting into an interracial relationship they need to prepare themselves for the shock of learning first-hand that racism isn't "gone in this day and age" like we believe, because sadly, we're wrong.

That said, I absolutely would have an interracial relationship if I met someone with common interests and goals, and I wouldn't expect significant friction with such a choice in my geographic area or within my family, but I'm not naive enough to believe it would never come up at all.
10/30/2010
ToyGeek ToyGeek
Quote:
Originally posted by Airen Wolf
The question is needed because Illusional has experienced outright hatred because she fell in love with a man. She is wondering if she is alone in this fight and wondering if she will be judged harshly because she is in love with a white man and she ...
I didn't take Crashgasm's response to be judging the validity of the question as a topic here, but rather as the standard response people give when encountering the subject of racism when it has not impacted their lives. I believe she's answering from a moment of "isn't racism over?" shock.
10/30/2010
Blinker Blinker
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Yeah. I don't see my boyfriend as "Some white guy"
And honestly I would've thought Maryland would be more okay with it, but I was really wrong.
I don't see color really. I like who I like.
But.. having a woman spit on me? It was insane.
I'm sorry you guys have had to go through this kind of ignorant bullshit. Jeff and I were used to a lot of the talking and heckling and staring (old people are the worst). I would think Maryland would be more tolerant, especially today, but it breaks my heart that you guys are still treated badly. You don't deserve that. No one deserves to be treated like shit for being with someone they love.
10/30/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I've never been in an obvious interracial relationship, and because of the fairly uneven demographic of where I live, I've never actually had to consider being in one because the opportunity was never presented. I say 'obvious' because my current boyfriend is over 50% Native American which is considered another race but because people can't necessarily see it in him (I think they just assume he's really tan with great hair...), we don't get any of the mistreatment like you and your partner do - which really sucks, I'm sorry for that. People are just so cruel sometimes.

But if he were black, middle eastern, even purple quite honestly, I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as I liked the person - my father would go off the wall but that's his problem and I refuse to let it affect how I live. Some places are still really weird about it where I live though too. I live an hour away from NYC and yet 30 minutes in the other direction, there's still an active grouping of KKK (yes, this is northern NJ - no one ever expects it here) among other horrible groups - there are some crazy hateful people out there and I really have a hard time understanding how that kind of thinking still exists in this country today.
10/30/2010
Illusional Illusional
Wow, I never would've thought of KKK in Northern NJ.

It is really hard, I'm his first black girl and it sort of scared him.
Luckily love makes all the difference so we still hold hands sometimes and it hasn't stopped me from kissing him in public when I damn feel like it!

Yeah Blinker, it's been young and old.
And dammnit, the black people are so LOUD.
We went to T.G.I.F and my boyfriend have given me some lilies and we kissed and this black couple was staring and the woman was like "Are they serious? Poor thing, her mother must've raised her wrong." And the man was like "It's so sad that our young women get sucked in by the white devil" And they were staring at us, and their whispering was quite loud, our waiter heard it. I was so ready to scream at them, and I eventually did. My boyfriend was pissed as well, but it was like so offensive to me.
Everybody wanted equality... so we're going for it and now you're bashing it?
It boggles my mind.
I'm supposed to visit him in January.
It should be okay, tame maybe.
10/30/2010
Tuesday Tuesday
I've dated several black men. One time in a restaurant, the waitress actually jumped backwards when she noticed that my date was black. Incredibly rude.

I wondered what my mom would think, but when I told her that my boyfriend was coming over and that he was black (didn't want her to jump backwards) she surprised me by happily replying "You mean I could have black grandkids?"

She was upset though when I dated a hispanic man. Her only experiences with hispanic men were very bad.

My husband is white but 1/16th Native American and so very proud of those few drops of Native American blood.
10/30/2010
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Wow, I never would've thought of KKK in Northern NJ.

It is really hard, I'm his first black girl and it sort of scared him.
Luckily love makes all the difference so we still hold hands sometimes and it hasn't stopped me from ...
Yeah far northern and western NJ aren't what people expect...it's very rural and while it certainly has its perks and is a beautiful area, it's also home to some kind of scary people.
10/30/2010
El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'm glad this thread is going smoother than the last one.

Most of the time, it is how Blinker puts it: "To me, I never stopped and thought 'Hey, this is interracial!', I just went with what I wanted and I wanted to be with who I wanted to be with."

It's really more of a cultural/familial issue when it does come up.
10/30/2010
Jobthingy Jobthingy
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Yeah. I don't see my boyfriend as "Some white guy"
And honestly I would've thought Maryland would be more okay with it, but I was really wrong.
I don't see color really. I like who I like.
But.. having a woman spit on me? It was insane.
OMG! that is crazy!
10/30/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I'm glad this thread is going smoother than the last one.

Most of the time, it is how Blinker puts it: "To me, I never stopped and thought 'Hey, this is interracial!', I just went with what I wanted and I wanted to be with ...
Yikes, I just read through your thread.
Got a bit heated.

Luckily, everyone's chill here.
YAY.

*hands out cookies and hugs*
10/30/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone Nightmare
I *considered* going out with a multi-racial guy in my old High School (not the one that I met Synthetik at, before I moved there) named Ray if that counts (I think his Mom was White, and his Dad African-American). He was a good person, don't get ...
My stepdad is racist as well. He's refused to meet D because D is half black. For the most part, my stepdad acts like I'm single, 'cuz that's better than me being with someone even party not white.

When my mom told him my boyfriend was half black mystepdad said, and I quote "my worst nightmare has come true."

When I started dating he told me to bring home a convicted rapist before I brought home a black guy.
10/30/2010
Jessica Elizabeth Jessica Elizabeth
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Wow, I never would've thought of KKK in Northern NJ.

It is really hard, I'm his first black girl and it sort of scared him.
Luckily love makes all the difference so we still hold hands sometimes and it hasn't stopped me from ...
Oh that's horrible *hugs* And I thought me and D had it bad...I am so sorry you have to deal with that.... *hugs again*
10/30/2010
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Jessica Elizabeth
My stepdad is racist as well. He's refused to meet D because D is half black. For the most part, my stepdad acts like I'm single, 'cuz that's better than me being with someone even party not white.

When my mom told him my ...
Woooow that's so horrible! That's even worse than my family took me dating another femaled-bodied person!

At least it's good to know that everyone's pretty accepting and chill here.
10/30/2010
onehotmomma onehotmomma
In high school I dated a boy for 2 years who wasn't my race, and it was great! The relationship anyways lol. I live in a hick town, so when we went to the mall and whatnot we got a lot of stares. It's been 12 years, and now there is a lot more diverse population where I live. There were 2 african americans at my high school when I went. In a school of 800. I was dating one, and the other was his sister, they were homeschooled until high school. I had never seen anyone other than white people and hispanics anywhere in my town until High school. Thankfully times have changed and we've got a lot more diverse community! I would never be opposed to interracial dating, ever. To me skin color isn't important. Everyone deserves an equal chance.
10/30/2010
Annemarie Annemarie
I'm currently in an interracial relationship (8 months now, I think), and I really don't think of it as such. He's African/Chinese/Indian (as in, from India), and I'm white.

We get some odd or questioning looks sometimes, when we're together, but nothing as horrible as outright angst. The area I live in is predominantly white (90%), so it is and isn't a bit odd to see an interracial couple. It is odd in that to see a non-white person in general is strange, and it isn't odd in that because there are so few non-white people, it would make sense that they're in a biracial relationship. Make sense?

To be honest (and I do not intend at all for this to be a racist), I think there is more scorn from black women regarding a black man dating a white woman and a black woman dating a white man than from any other race or gender. I base this on what my significant other has said about how black women regard him, asking him things like (this is a direct quote from him, making it hearsay, but nonetheless), "why aren't you with a sister? What's wrong with being with one of the sisters?" This is his first relationship with a white girl (he's previously been in other interracial relationships), and my second relationship with a black guy (I've had several other relationships with Latin American guys and girls).

My dad semi-approves of this relationship. He's politically very conservative, so his gut says that it's "wrong", but he puts family before politics. I don't know what I would do if my family didn't approve of my relationship. It would be tough.

Despite being in an interracial relationship myself, when I notice an interracial couple at the store or wherever, it does give me pause. I guess because it's so rare in my area.

Anyway, pardon the wall o' text. Love is love, no matter who doesn't like it.
10/30/2010
Sir Sir
If I fell for a person who happened to be of a different race than myself, then I would of course go for it. Nothing bothers me about a person's exterior; it's the person inside that counts.
10/30/2010
Destri Destri
My first husband was Black (well, he still is Black, he just isn't my husband anymore lol), I am German and American Indian. That was a long time ago, and while we did have some problems with people, the majority of the time if people had an issue they kept it to themselves. I had 2 sons with this man, so they are quite the racial mix!

I am currently married to a man who is 20 years younger than I am, and I have to say that this gets a lot more negative attention than my interracial marriage ever did.
10/30/2010
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Destri
My first husband was Black (well, he still is Black, he just isn't my husband anymore lol), I am German and American Indian. That was a long time ago, and while we did have some problems with people, the majority of the time if people had an ...
I imagine so.
10/30/2010
Total posts: 158
Unique posters: 123