Do you believe that monogamy is natural or unnatural for humans?

Tart Tart
I can't believe I voted twice, though I am riding the fence on this one. For humans in general I believe it is unnatural for humans to be monogamous. I am not going to elaborate since I don't know the facts, and I think it's been covered pretty extensively by those who have come before me.
10/24/2010
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Persephone Nightmare
Sorry for resurrecting a somewhat dead thread, but I came across it and wanted to answer

I don't think that monogamy is unnatural, but I also don't think that poly relationships are unnatural either. I think it's either just a ... More
Well stated - I don't object to polyamory (sic) - It's just not for me.
10/24/2010
CynicallyYours CynicallyYours
i've always thought monogamy wasn't really a natural concept for humans. there has been plurality in marriage pretty much since the beginning of humanity.

many forget that monogamy is a very modern concept and actually doesn't make very much sense for the gene pool or for societal constructs.
10/24/2010
Midway through Midway through
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
There have been studies done and there is a large population of people who do not believe that monogamy is a natural function for humans. One of the most popular reasons given is that you very rarely see monogamy in nature and since humans are ... More
I vote other, because I'm not sure what I agree with. I personally don't ever want to be married, I want a polyhome, and it's just what feels natural to me. I'm not sure I believe that we as a whole are one way or another though. I sit on the fence.
10/25/2010
Unconventional Unconventional
I think there are people who are hardwired one way and others who are just hardwired differently. I think it's as different and natural as people who love obese partners versus people who desire thin partners. Our differences are just that, differences.
10/25/2010
Alicia Alicia
I think that while humans are animals we're evolved to the point that we don't do most things based on instincts, so I think that monogomy is the same. Monogomy and Polyamory I think are both based on individuals preferences, desires and ability to maintain those lifestyles in a healthy way.

I think that when people find that they cannot stand being faithful to one person as in cheating on the person, or not getting into relationships because they feel the need to sleep around (not in polyamorous relationships where the sex with other people has been agreed upon) that it's more a matter of something else with their mental and emotional makeup, and that it's not based on instincts.
11/06/2010
pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
There have been studies done and there is a large population of people who do not believe that monogamy is a natural function for humans. One of the most popular reasons given is that you very rarely see monogamy in nature and since humans are ... More
monogamy is a lovely thought, but I believ it was forced and is unnatural. Sex is sex and we are all sexual beings.
11/13/2010
Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
There have been studies done and there is a large population of people who do not believe that monogamy is a natural function for humans. One of the most popular reasons given is that you very rarely see monogamy in nature and since humans are ... More
to me it seems to be the natural state for humans to be poly. we are always looking to see what is on the other side of the fence as biological animals.
but that's just my voice in this, and it's very much not for everyone.
11/28/2010
LavenderSkies LavenderSkies
Humans actually aren't monogamous creatures.. thanks instincts! lol
11/29/2010
sparkweasle sparkweasle
Quote:
Originally posted by LavenderSkies
Humans actually aren't monogamous creatures.. thanks instincts! lol
if we are or we arnt it doesnt really matter wheather we chose to be creachurs of instinct or reson is our own choice....and yes im an opjectivist
12/06/2010
sophie2229 sophie2229
I say it depends on the person!
12/09/2010
cherryredhead88 cherryredhead88
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Setting aside the concept of biology as a defense for cheating, I think we are animals and while we certainly have many higher level abilities that make us clearly more than just animals, we do share appetites—lust, thirst, hunger—with animals and ... More
This. Lol

I pretty much agree with the whole we have a choice and are still a type of animals, we are.
01/16/2011
Tidwtrguy Tidwtrguy
Monogamy is a man-made creation for social, moral, or other reasons. Biologically, we aren't wired for it. I totally believe in emotional monogamy but will never believe we are intended for sexual monogamy. Speaking as someone with a wife and a boyfriend, I do love them both but, in different ways that are very hard to explain. For bisexuals, I believe it is easier to be 'polyamorous' with a male and a female but I think it would be very difficult to have more than one female or more than one male partner where there is an emotional connection.
01/16/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by Tidwtrguy
Monogamy is a man-made creation for social, moral, or other reasons. Biologically, we aren't wired for it. I totally believe in emotional monogamy but will never believe we are intended for sexual monogamy. Speaking as someone with a wife and ... More
I've had both male and female partners and the issues aren't any easier than having two same sex partners. The dynamic and problem set is still the same the only difference between now, when I have two male patners and when I had a male and female partner, is my husband and my life partner speak the same language!

Besides if you have both sex partners then one of your partners has a same sex co-partner or (you hope) close friend or acquaintance who shares the same feelings for you!
01/26/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
I think some people are capable of absolute monogamy and some aren't. It's how the entirety of the situation itself is handled that counts. Not being able to be honest about what you want in a relationship and what you feel is best for you in life is quite damaging and can lead to feelings of suffocation and disinterest and straying. I think it's a very tricky situation and humans shouldn't be compared to animals of the wild kingdom because we do have the ability to rationalize and justify our actions where as procreation and non-monogamy are 100% required for other species to continue to exist. Genetic stagnation is dire to a species. And this probably applied to humans when the first civilizations were appearing but I don't think it applies now because we have the means to control unwanted pregnancies and with 6.2 billion people on the planet, the genetic combinations are endless.

I would definitely like to learn more about it on the scientific side of things so as to remove all emotional responses from my answers in the future.
01/26/2011
mrs.mckrakn mrs.mckrakn
not really sure but it is natural to be attracted to more than one person at a time
01/26/2011
DexterStratton DexterStratton
Does monogamy include so-called "serial monogamy"? At any rate, I vote natural, while assuming this means neither inevitable or invariable.
02/01/2011
A Good Girl A Good Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
There have been studies done and there is a large population of people who do not believe that monogamy is a natural function for humans. One of the most popular reasons given is that you very rarely see monogamy in nature and since humans are ... More
I think we all like different things at different times in our life.
02/02/2011
Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Naked communist - gotta love it - even the poor Russians couldn't stand it for more than 70 years - I say we give it a try - bread lines anyone?
Just like the United States could never stand capitalism and from the very beginning we've been a mixed socialist economy that regulates trade, has nationalized industries and public works projects
02/02/2011
Hallmar82 Hallmar82
The heart wants what it wants. If you want to be faithful to one only person, then you will be. If you don't want to be faithful to only one person, then you won't. It's as simple as that.
02/02/2011
That Guy That Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
I'm a little bothered by the concept that we are just specialized animals.

Humans have free-will and a conscience, we choose to do what we do. Using nature as an excuse for betraying a spouse is a weak defense.

If you've made a ... More
With respect, I'm going to disagree and say that the difference is that we think we've got free will. I think we're biologically programmed to seek a partner who won't betray us while trying to reproduce with those who will produce the healthiest offspring. I don't even mean that we want to be with those who will produce the best offspring, there are a lot of studies that suggest that what women find attractive as a partner is not necessarily what they find attractive as a sexual partner, at least when they're most fertile.

Men, on the other hand, well we all know the old story there. You're programmed to mate as much as possible with as many women as possible. If your parents and society successfully reprogram you, or if the threat of losing the woman you've got is too high, you won't sleep around.

I'm not suggesting that integrity doesn't play into it, I'm just suggesting that the limits of our willpower and integrity are not something we choose, but merely the product of our genes and our upbringing. I'm not using it as an excuse for bad behavior, in fact I think I've been reprogrammed myself. Still, I can't take credit for my own actions any more than I can put the blame on somebody else.
02/02/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by That Guy
With respect, I'm going to disagree and say that the difference is that we think we've got free will. I think we're biologically programmed to seek a partner who won't betray us while trying to reproduce with those who will produce ... More
I appreciate your reasoned response. But suggesting that we're just too weak to control biological urges is an inadequate excuse for infidelity.

I have no problem with polyamory or even polygamy - it's about honesty. There's nothing in biology to explain away lying and deceit.

If you need sex with more than one partner, don't kid to yourself and lie to your partner - own up to it in advance - not after you've been caught.
02/02/2011
lkb lkb
I's kind of a tough question. Thinking of what's natural brings up the question of instincts, relating to animals breeding habits, at least in my mind. Relating to that, we'd want to spread our genetics. I think that it's really a person-to-person thing. Some people are better off monogamous and some are better off in open or poly relationships. It really depends!
02/24/2011
HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
Whatever floats your boat, whatever works for you.
02/24/2011
sexyintexas sexyintexas
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
There have been studies done and there is a large population of people who do not believe that monogamy is a natural function for humans. One of the most popular reasons given is that you very rarely see monogamy in nature and since humans are ... More
Mamals as a general rule arent monagamous. We can choose to be but the desire not to be is always there.
02/24/2011
Alyjazz Alyjazz
I, personally, think that monogamy is unnatural. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, but I just don't think that it is the way we were built.

I only say this simply because we can go from relationship to relation ship and love a number of different people throughout our lives. The only thing that stops you from loving more than one person (or perhaps simply admitting that you love more than one person) is societies expectation that we only love one person and only commit ourselves to one person at a time. I know that may sound terribly lame blaming it on society, but I really think that's all it is.

I'm in a very happy monogamous relationship (my relationships have always been monogamous), but I do find myself attracted to other people and that's natural. I don't act on those feelings because my partner does not want me to, but if he didn't mind bringing other people into our relationship, there wouldn't be a single reason not to do it.
02/24/2011
WHITEMIKE WHITEMIKE
Quote:
Originally posted by Tori Rebel
There have been studies done and there is a large population of people who do not believe that monogamy is a natural function for humans. One of the most popular reasons given is that you very rarely see monogamy in nature and since humans are ... More
It is unnatural, but it is beneficial. All societies advance quicker when they promote monogamy.
03/01/2011
zeebot zeebot
I don't really think natural or unnatural is really relevant anymore, our society has evolved so much since "natural" had any real bearing. Everyone is comfortable with something different, that should be what's natural.
03/01/2011
soyandapplecrisp soyandapplecrisp
I think this is a subject you indefinitely cannot generalize with. It depends on the psychology of the individual person. Neither is more or less natural than the other. Some people were made for monogamy/polygamy, while others weren't. In either case, it's not fair to force your partner into something they're uncomfortable with.

You could even look at the subject through a gender specific, evolution stand point. Men developed to want to spread their seed to multiple people for a higher likelihood of passing on their genes, while women have developed to find a partner to that will stand by and help in raising offspring.
03/03/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
I agree with Gunsmoke
03/04/2011
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