Question for Monogamous People

SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Which is these acts do you consider cheating if your partner were to do this with another person?
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
Going on a date.
Hallmar82 , JG24FanUK , Lickable Lollie , sexiskewt , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Ciao. , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , Taylor , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Kissy , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , theavocadopit , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , ViVix , Eliyahu , Teaser , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , ToyTimeTim , cheesewizz , badk1tty , mistre$$ , 31 Flavors , hyacinthgirl , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Khanner , Ilovelingerie , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , Jaimes , pasdechat , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , thekindthorn , Tangles , rockblenny , Bodhi , Missy May , Dixiemomma , xMila , booboo111926 , nori , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , SexyStuff , dennislady1979 , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Double Analysis , Cora Jane , Crimson Vixen , PropertyOfPotter , marshmallow , AmethystSmoke , dks210
83
Kissing.
JG24FanUK , Lickable Lollie , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Kissy , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , ViVix , Eliyahu , Teaser , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , js250 , ToyTimeTim , badk1tty , mistre$$ , 31 Flavors , *Camoprincess* , hyacinthgirl , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Khanner , Ilovelingerie , gsfanatic , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , Jaimes , pasdechat , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , thekindthorn , Tangles , rockblenny , Bodhi , Missy May , Dixiemomma , Sir Fapsalot , xMila , booboo111926 , nori , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , SexyStuff , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Double Analysis , Cora Jane , PropertyOfPotter , animepanda89 , AmethystSmoke , dks210 , The Mother of a SiNner
80
Flirty touching.
Lickable Lollie , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , Eliyahu , Teaser , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , js250 , ToyTimeTim , badk1tty , mistre$$ , *Camoprincess* , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Ilovelingerie , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , Jaimes , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , rockblenny , Bodhi , Dixiemomma , Sir Fapsalot , xMila , booboo111926 , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Cora Jane , Crimson Vixen , PropertyOfPotter , marshmallow , AmethystSmoke , dks210
66
Touching genitals.
Hallmar82 , JG24FanUK , Lickable Lollie , sexiskewt , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Ciao. , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , Taylor , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Kissy , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , Castielskitten , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , ViVix , Eliyahu , Teaser , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , js250 , ToyTimeTim , badk1tty , mistre$$ , 31 Flavors , *Camoprincess* , hyacinthgirl , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Khanner , Ilovelingerie , gsfanatic , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , pasdechat , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , thekindthorn , Tangles , rockblenny , Bodhi , Missy May , Dixiemomma , Sir Fapsalot , xMila , booboo111926 , nori , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , SexyStuff , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Double Analysis , Cora Jane , Crimson Vixen , PropertyOfPotter , animepanda89 , marshmallow , AmethystSmoke , dks210 , The Mother of a SiNner
86
Oral sex.
Hallmar82 , JG24FanUK , Lickable Lollie , sexiskewt , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Various , Ciao. , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , Taylor , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Kissy , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , Castielskitten , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , ViVix , Eliyahu , Teaser , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , js250 , ToyTimeTim , badk1tty , mistre$$ , 31 Flavors , *Camoprincess* , hyacinthgirl , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Khanner , Ilovelingerie , gsfanatic , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , Jaimes , pasdechat , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , thekindthorn , Tangles , rockblenny , Bodhi , Missy May , Dixiemomma , Sir Fapsalot , xMila , booboo111926 , nori , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , SexyStuff , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Double Analysis , Cora Jane , Crimson Vixen , PropertyOfPotter , animepanda89 , marshmallow , AmethystSmoke , dks210 , The Mother of a SiNner
88
Sex.
Hallmar82 , JG24FanUK , Lickable Lollie , sexiskewt , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Various , Ciao. , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , Taylor , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Kissy , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , Castielskitten , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , ViVix , Eliyahu , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , js250 , ToyTimeTim , cheesewizz , badk1tty , mistre$$ , 31 Flavors , *Camoprincess* , hyacinthgirl , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Khanner , Ilovelingerie , gsfanatic , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , Jaimes , pasdechat , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , thekindthorn , Tangles , rockblenny , Bodhi , Missy May , Dixiemomma , Sir Fapsalot , xMila , booboo111926 , nori , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , SexyStuff , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Double Analysis , Cora Jane , Crimson Vixen , PropertyOfPotter , animepanda89 , marshmallow , AmethystSmoke , dks210 , The Mother of a SiNner
88
Committing to another person.
Hallmar82 , JG24FanUK , Lickable Lollie , sexiskewt , Ryuson , wrmbreze , underHim , Ciao. , Calla , spunkmonkey , indiglo , Taylor , P'Gell , ghalik , Airen Wolf , Kitka , Loriandhubby , asphyxia , JadeKitten , puppylove , OhMy! , Kissy , Peggi , DeliciousSurprise , Castielskitten , PeaceToTheMiddleEast , blacklodge , gloomybear , Arch600 , Gunsmoke , Raigne , RTC , ViVix , Eliyahu , Teaser , mpfm , SMichelle , jeangel246 , angel142stx , Miss Nessa , js250 , ToyTimeTim , cheesewizz , badk1tty , mistre$$ , 31 Flavors , *Camoprincess* , hyacinthgirl , Thomas90 , humblepie , powerandintent , phozersexy , Femme Mystique , Khanner , Ilovelingerie , gsfanatic , BG529 , lillmiss5054 , caligaliber , MissBre , Jaimes , pasdechat , sexystuffeve , Heatherbipoly , thekindthorn , Tangles , rockblenny , Bodhi , Missy May , Dixiemomma , Sir Fapsalot , xMila , booboo111926 , nori , bayosgirl , Howells , beautifulbombshellVI , SexyStuff , AliceAddicted , SilverIsis , Double Analysis , Cora Jane , Crimson Vixen , PropertyOfPotter , animepanda89 , marshmallow , AmethystSmoke , dks210 , The Mother of a SiNner
89
Total votes: 580 (92 voters)
Poll is closed
04/21/2012
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Hallmar82 Hallmar82
Kissing is kind of a grey area. There are many different kinds of kisses at more or less romantic or lustful intensities. Flirting and touching is much the same way in my opinion too. However, both of those things are either really close to the line or dancing on it without crossing it. I prefer not to tempt Fate - she has low impulse control.
04/21/2012
JG24FanUK JG24FanUK
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Which is these acts do you consider cheating if your partner were to do this with another person?
I consider all of those acts a form of cheating. I did not pick flirty touching however because its vague and depends on intentions I feel.
04/21/2012
sexiskewt sexiskewt
Going on a date is subject to interpretation. What is going on a date?
04/21/2012
underHim underHim
All of the above I would consider cheating.
04/21/2012
Various Various
Sex and oral sex are cheating to me.
04/21/2012
Ciao. Ciao.
Flirty touching and kissing wouldn't particularly bother me, the others, I'd probably consider cheating if my partner did them without my consent.
04/21/2012
spunkmonkey spunkmonkey
All the above.
04/21/2012
indiglo indiglo
All of the above, as others have said.

But the answer will vary from person to person - depending on the boundaries both people have established together in their relationship. There is no universal right or wrong answer with this kind of question!
04/21/2012
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Which is these acts do you consider cheating if your partner were to do this with another person?
It really depends on the agreement of the boundaries the couple has set...and it really is important that the couple sets those boundaries early on! When Sigel and I tried to be monogamous we did not set any boundaries and it caused no end of problems because we each had different ideas about what constituted cheating. Relying on popular views of cheating can lead to much heartache and each couple should decide for themselves where they draw the line.
04/21/2012
Kitka Kitka
All of the above.. and we're not monogamous. Mainly these things are considered cheating for us if it has not been discussed/agreed upon before them happening.
04/21/2012
Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
all of them are cheating. In fact to us just sharing intimate details or talking to much to the other sex is considered cheating. this may seem sort of icaic.. i think that's how you spell it.

but we are totally 100% for each other none other. here is an example of what i mean.

hubby is not happy with things at home for what ever reason. he starts talking and sharing his feelings with a female coworker. she also is having trouble at home. these two gravitate twords each other because they seem to listen and care when hubby feels that his wife is not listening. this can lead to an affair.

therefore, we as wemon and men are supose to conduct ourselves in a way that would never lead another on. We are not to be the down fall of another.

does this even make scence or is it only in my head that it sounds right??
04/21/2012
Beck Beck
None of them are a deal breaker for me unless it's done behind my back. Then I know he has something to hide and I will consider that cheating. We are monogamous, but I've said he can find someone else, but she has to be around with me around.
04/21/2012
asphyxia asphyxia
I totally know what you mean Lori! I'm another "all of the above" person. I feel very fortunate to have found a man that feels the same way I do about monogamy. Both of us consider any type of intimate emotional relationship with someone else to be infidelity. That doesn't mean we don't talk to other people, we just keep our relationships strictly platonic. We're both a little socially awkward, so we pretty much keep to ourselves anyway.

I don't have anything against people that are into polyamory, but it isn't for me personally. I think that as long as all parties in the relationship are comfortable with (and aware of) the arrangement, then it's all good!

Oddly enough, I don't think I would mind either one of us doing the above listed things with other people if there were a way to completely separate the emotional aspect from the physical. But, since that's impossible for me, it won't be happening.
04/21/2012
JadeKitten JadeKitten
All of the above, I can deal with flirty touching if it's a joke..... somewhat. If it's not a joke.. huge fight and possible dumping will start immediately.

If I wasn't monogamous, going on a date, committing to another person, kissing and flirty touching would be cheating to me. My friend calls this the prostitutes rules. No flirting, dating, committing or kissing keeps a prostitute from being hurt. Lol.
04/21/2012
puppylove puppylove
All to me, I am very sensitive about this issue, so I may go a little crazy controlling gf on him
04/21/2012
JadeKitten JadeKitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Hallmar82
Kissing is kind of a grey area. There are many different kinds of kisses at more or less romantic or lustful intensities. Flirting and touching is much the same way in my opinion too. However, both of those things are either really close to the ... More
Yeah, kissing is a grey area.. on the cheek to family members or people you've known since you were little is okay... sorta.. but kissing anywhere else or to someone you've known not to long.. NO. I'm a jealous person of course.
Flirting.. it's so so, I don't always consider it cheating, touching I usually do.
Like you said, it close to the line though.
04/21/2012
Peggi Peggi
I wouldn't have a problem with it if he told me about it beforehand and didn't WANT to be monogamous anymore, but if it was done without my knowledge, any of these can be "cheating". Kissing, though, may not be depending on context. A kiss on the cheek of a friend is not the same as a kiss on the lips, and a kiss on the lips of someone you aren't romantically attracted to is not the same as kissing someone you find attractive.
04/21/2012
Castielskitten Castielskitten
flirty touching and up, down here, a lot of us joke, but theres not a single sexual feeling, and as for kissing, well, it depends, some friends kiss each other on the cheek, and there is family. but the rest forget it. he should be committed to me and only me, no one else.
04/21/2012
PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
I consider them all.
04/21/2012
gloomybear gloomybear
all of them
04/21/2012
Arch600 Arch600
I picked 'em all but kissing and flirty touching are gray areas, I agree. Depends on the context, with whom, and the intent. I also agree about establishing boundaries with your partner. You can't assume they know where your lines are, or that they see things as you do. It must be discussed and agreed upon by both - beforehand.
04/21/2012
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
This question seems like a joke. Is sex with another cheating - isn't that the definition? I call BS on this one!
04/22/2012
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Which is these acts do you consider cheating if your partner were to do this with another person?
I'd say basically everything except flirty touching.
04/22/2012
Teaser Teaser
All of the above.
04/22/2012
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
I'd have to say all the above!
04/22/2012
js250 js250
All of the above are neutering offenses!! Seriously I would not tolerate any of those options.
04/22/2012
ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
All of the above.
04/22/2012
badk1tty badk1tty
Quote:
Originally posted by SubmissiveFeminist
Which is these acts do you consider cheating if your partner were to do this with another person?
All of them.
04/22/2012
EvilHomer EvilHomer
Anything one partner does knowing that the other would be upset about and keeps if from them (either by lie or hiding it). *Note* not "oh I'm not getting you anything special for Christmas."

Basically anything that breaches the trust of the relationship is cheating. For me everything you list counts. Clearly there are differences in severity, but they all do significant damage to the cornerstone of a relationship.
04/22/2012
Total posts: 66
Unique posters: 62