A very embarrassing question about masturbation sleeves (and oral sex)

Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I can not believe how open I am being here...but here goes. If it will help me show my hubby how much I love him - its worth the bit of blushing.

I have never really been able to massage my husband or give him oral sex. In the past, it has grossed me out.

However, as we're getting into toys, I want to try and show him my love and appreciation for all he does for me.

Someone privately suggested to me that I could use a masturbation sheath with a hole in either end and use the main portion of the sheath for massaging and then by cutting a hole in the top (if I understood correctly) - also give him oral sex at the same time.

If you've tried this before - what sheaths do you recommend? My husband isn't small but he's not huge either.

I did get the free one that EF is offering with your order right now - here is the link: link

I'm looking forward to surprising him with it on his birthday in 10 days but I'd also like to find something that might be a bit more longer lasting than this one looks like it will be.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give.

One Blushing Hot TexasMama who really wants to please her man!
10/02/2011
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Valentinka Valentinka
It's wonderful that you want to please your beloved one so much and there's nothing to be embarrassed about

Sorry, I can't be a lot of help here, but I looked through reviews and product descriptions and this thing looks like a good one At least that's what I would have chosen.

As for me and my partner - we've tried only Tenga egg once, which was pretty good, but one-use only and without another hole at the end, both of which are not what you're looking for.
10/02/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by Valentinka
It's wonderful that you want to please your beloved one so much and there's nothing to be embarrassed about

Sorry, I can't be a lot of help here, but I looked through reviews and product descriptions and this thing looks like a ... More
Thanks - it looks like that item is out of stock right now - I will have to keep an eye open for it.

I thought about getting the Maven and then cutting off the "other end" so I could give him oral while stimulating him.

I'm really hoping some guys (and gals) will chip in with their suggestions.
10/02/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks - it looks like that item is out of stock right now - I will have to keep an eye open for it.

I thought about getting the Maven and then cutting off the "other end" so I could give him oral while stimulating ... More
Can I ask you a personal question? Will help me respond. What about going down on him grosses you out? If we look at that maybe we can overcome your trepidation together! There are so many oral techniques you can tand while using hand stimulation at the same time. Possibly more hand with lube and just using your mouth on the head.
I've never used a sleeve while going down at the same time, but I'm sure it's possible!
10/02/2011
Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
AngelvMaynard is so right TexasMama. If you endeavor to learn how to give oral to your husband you won't need auxiliary toys for a while.

You can learn oral techniques from the EF community, one example, then by practicing on a realistic dildo or your husband, I can't conceive of him having a complaint.

You should both be open to experience more than "the blow job".

We are similar in age to you and your husband and have just a few month head start in our toy lifestyle. We are both very fulfilled sexually, having a "meh" kind of love life before. Your "kinks" will show themselves if you let them and you will both benefit by providing them for each other.

Let me give you an example.

Last night's "oral" was merely the method used to get me hard for using a Tenga Egg on me for the first time. We had a very realistic dildo with us, so my wife and I both got to experience feeling and watching her Tenga me and squeeze the dildo, she gave the dildo oral for my visual pleasure, and I rubbed the dildo between her breasts also for my visual pleasure. As for the Tenga Egg, we were both surprised by how turned on she got from the visuals of working the Egg on me. Honestly, the foreplay blow job was so much better than the Egg. If I had used the Tenga the first time on myself, I might have missed out on something. So, what was purchased as a self pleasuring toy for me, is going to remain in our toy chest as a visual pleasure device for her.
10/02/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
Can I ask you a personal question? Will help me respond. What about going down on him grosses you out? If we look at that maybe we can overcome your trepidation together! There are so many oral techniques you can tand while using hand stimulation at ... More
Probably saying grosses me out was the wrong way to express it...

I think that a large part of the problem was that when I tried it - I do not have any stamina and can only do it for a couple of minutes before I absolutely need a break. It is hard on the muscles in my mouth.

The same thing with manual stimulation - I don't have much strength in my arms and I don't have good muscles (yes - I know those can be developed). My husband has also stated that over the years, he has sorta become numb to how things feel (he can still orgasm - but more from thrusting vs. how his penis feels to the touch).

I tried oral the other day and could only do it for a couple of minutes.

I HATE HATE HATE the feel of lubricant on my hands - it just grosses me out - so someone had privately suggested to me that I consider using a sleeve on him and locking my fingers together so I could flex against the sleeve so I'm using my arm muscles versus my hand muscles and then also doing oral on the top to help him.

I think that I could handle that - I've tried playing with my hands together like that to see how it feels and that is doable.

By the way - my husband has never demanded oral or anything else and he's said that while he would probably like it - he would never want to "make" me do anything.

But he's given so much to me over the years and we're now having so much fun with the toys that I want to find a way to give back to him - especially for his birthday in a few days.

I don't think I could do oral to completion - or even a hand job to completion....but I would like to at least do it enough to try.
10/02/2011
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Probably saying grosses me out was the wrong way to express it...

I think that a large part of the problem was that when I tried it - I do not have any stamina and can only do it for a couple of minutes before I absolutely need a break. It is ... More
Cutting the end out of a sleeve and using it while you give head might not be your best bet if you hate the feel of lube on your hands, because there's a good chance that it will not only get on your hands but in your mouth too. And you do NOT want to use a sleeve on him without lube because they usually will chafe a man otherwise. If you do decide to try the sleeve/oral together though, I really suggest getting a nice flavored lubricant just in case.

Since you said your oral aversion is stamina-based, why not give him a little oral until you're no longer comfortable, and then switch to a sleeve? There's nothing wrong with changing methods, and you might not have to do so much manual stimulation since he'd already be feeling pleasure from the oral.

One more thing that might help: you mentioned that he has become somewhat numb to sensations. Something that might help with that is to try a sleeve with a lot of texture, like the Si-X N or the Tenga Flip hole. The Maven you mentioned is on the milder end of the spectrum sensation-wise (according to Alan), and it's rather large to handle as a woman pleasing her man.

Hope this helps
10/03/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Cutting the end out of a sleeve and using it while you give head might not be your best bet if you hate the feel of lube on your hands, because there's a good chance that it will not only get on your hands but in your mouth too. And you do NOT ... More
Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but he does not feel a need to have me do that until completion. Instead, he'd rather have it be part of foreplay for us both.

He sorta felt like I was making a bigger deal out of it than it is for him. As he put it, Does he enjoy it? Yes. Does he need it? Not so much.

From what I've read - its almost like he prefers being more of a "top" and doing things to me / with me - than having things done to him.
10/03/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but ... More
Well there's nothing wrong with that!!
The most important thing is to not stress yourself out about what you "aren't" doing and concentrate on what you "want" to do! Take it slow and do what feels good and natural and what's in your comfort level. If giving him oral is something you want to then try it a little at a time until you feel more comfortable and then move up the effort at your pace. He sounds like a wonderful, giving understanding lover. Sounds as though he's just happy you are trying! Try a sleeve and see if you both like it.
As Alan and Michelle said, most of those come with quite a bit of lube application. Any sleeve or masturbator is going to require lube for comfort and glide.
Stick with oral and saliva until you are ready for that.
One little tip I will give you, when giving oral continue to let the saliva build in your mouth and on his penis. If it's your own saliva you may not have the same aversion as you do to lube!

Good Luck and happy exploring!!
10/03/2011
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but ... More
Communication comes through, yet again! Sounds great. Talking about this kind of stuff makes such a HUGE difference. I'm glad you were able to discuss it and get his real thoughts on the matter!
10/03/2011
Beck Beck
Just a suggestion but if you hate lube in your hands you could use a rubber glove.

As for not being able to give oral for long time then switch it up. You do not just have to suck as hard as you can. Kissing, licking, sucking, and using your hand are all great. Just switch it up when you need a break. you can also relax your jaw muscles and allow your partner to bob your head of course you have to talk about how fast and how deep. You do not want to gag. That free sleeve you are most likely not going to like either, if you do not like lube. It is slimy and weird. I have not even taken it out of the package yet and you can see the sliminess.

Have fun exploring your man! Hope I helped!
10/03/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks everyone for your comments.

He and I talked about this last night for quite a while.

Basically, he likes the fact that I want to please him and he likes the fact that I will pay attention to him orally or by massaging him - but ... More
Glad you were able to talk it out!
10/03/2011
bondedlove23 bondedlove23
Don't worry about blushing or being embarrassed; we've all been there. Oral used to gross me out and I had no idea what the heck do to with it in my mouth (3 years later and I've finally got it down just right).

When I first started giving oral to my boyfriend, here's what I did: Hold just under the head with one hand (gently of course) and sucking on the head. Lube up your other hand with some cream or preferred lube at the base of the shaft or testicles. When you're just getting started (and those days when you don't want to take it deep) it works like a charm and you'll have him purring in your hands and mouth.

I know I hate doing it to completion (tastes nasty and leaves a funky taste/smell for a while) but foreplay is great...you can tease him for however short or long you want and he's at your mercy
10/03/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by bondedlove23
Don't worry about blushing or being embarrassed; we've all been there. Oral used to gross me out and I had no idea what the heck do to with it in my mouth (3 years later and I've finally got it down just right).

When I first ... More
Last night we tried using a rubber glove - it was great.

Tonight he sorta shocked me...he was teasing me with a vibrator that is about his size...but he'd put some flavored lube on it. Wow...

I begged him to put some on himself and he did - I was not able to bring him to completion but we sure had bunches and bunches of fun. I'd do what I could and then take a break and then do what I could and then take a break.

Poor guy - he's exhausted right now and has said he needs a couple of days off. He says he can take care of me - but he just needs a break now.

Hmm...don't know about that. Promised him I wouldn't do it this morning since he's so tired - but I'm thinking that about 3 am on Wednesday morning (he gets up at 4 am to get to work by 6 am) - I might put some of the lube on him and just start sucking and give him something to remember - even if he's too tired to come to completion right then.

I can't believe how using a lube helped and how his teasing me with the vibrator helped.

He said that he'd like to find a realistic dildo that he could play with me like that....before moving on to him because there are some positions we're doing now where I can't reach him to suck on him while he's using the vibrators on me.

Suggestions for life-size/lifelike dildos?

And the best flavored lubes?

I love what we have - I got it at Walmart as a surprise and it works great...but hey...variety is nice also.
10/04/2011
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Last night we tried using a rubber glove - it was great.

Tonight he sorta shocked me...he was teasing me with a vibrator that is about his size...but he'd put some flavored lube on it. Wow...

I begged him to put some on himself and ... More
Really glad to hear that that! It sounds like you both had a great time, and that's what it's all about.

For lifelike dildos, I strongly favor the VixSkin line. Some of them feel overly grabby when they're dry, but once you add some lube the realism is hard to beat. Not to mention that they're very high quality silicone so they'll last for years if you take good care of them.

For flavored lubes, my favorite is Sliquid Swirl's cherry vanilla, but I've heard other people talk about how good the other flavors are too. Alan likes WET brand's blueberry flavor, but to me it seems to taste a little too "lubey" if we use too much of it.

~M
10/04/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by Alan & Michele
Really glad to hear that that! It sounds like you both had a great time, and that's what it's all about.

For lifelike dildos, I strongly favor the VixSkin line. Some of them feel overly grabby when they're dry, but once you add ... More
Thanks. Remember how I was gonna let him sleep today?

Yeah....right.

I was dreaming and horny...he thought he heard me using the bullet (I wasn't).

I'll just say that I AM getting better at oral (he says so) and we'll both have big smiles on our faces today from our playtime.

I will look into the lubricants you mentioned. I doublechecked - the one we have is Strawberry Kiwi and it really doesn't bother me at all - he wanted me to massage him and suck on him and I said, "Only if you put lube on" and he was like "For the taste?" and I said, "No....because this lube's texture doesn't bother me for once...and I know you've said it hurts without lube"

He had a super big smile on his face.

I think we can even toss the plastic gloves.
10/04/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Thanks. Remember how I was gonna let him sleep today?

Yeah....right.

I was dreaming and horny...he thought he heard me using the bullet (I wasn't).

I'll just say that I AM getting better at oral (he says so) and ... More
Oops - meant to clarify something.

HE'S the one who woke ME up!
10/04/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Oops - meant to clarify something.

HE'S the one who woke ME up!
Final update - thanks to everyone for their help.

Last night I was able to give him oral until he came. WOW. I was in shock - he hasn't had an orgasm like that in years and it is a "gift" I plan to give him as often as I can.

Afterwards he was like, "I figured it would be months before we'd reach that point." I was confused and said, "But I've been doing so much better at working on this and learning.." and he said, "It wasn't you. I didn't think I would be able to let go and lose control so totally like that..".

Once again - thanks from a very happy couple.
10/05/2011
CafeSabroso CafeSabroso
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
Final update - thanks to everyone for their help.

Last night I was able to give him oral until he came. WOW. I was in shock - he hasn't had an orgasm like that in years and it is a "gift" I plan to give him as often as I can. ... More
Yay!!! Happy story! +1 for communication
10/07/2011
SexyStuff SexyStuff
Inspiring
06/16/2012
asandahl asandahl
sounds fun!
06/16/2012
lulz lulz
Why don't you just ... you know, have normal sex with him? I doubt any sex toy will beat that.
06/23/2012
Total posts: 22
Unique posters: 12