I'm 21 and still a virgin (sex toy question)

Yumm Yumm
Okay I'm 21 and dangerously to being 22 >_< and I'm still a virgin
and I'm seriously considering buying a sex toy... or two to gain at least some experience. but I've been told that it's a bad idea that i would be desensitized and that i wouldn't enjoy being with another person. can anyone tell me if this is true or just a myth? please?
07/30/2009
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Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Quote:
Originally posted by Yumm
Okay I'm 21 and dangerously to being 22 >_< and I'm still a virgin
and I'm seriously considering buying a sex toy... or two to gain at least some experience. but I've been told that it's a bad idea that i would be ... More
It's false. If anything, a sex toy can teach you what you like or don't like and help you communicate that better to your future partners. (=
07/30/2009
Victoria Victoria
Don't fall prey to those myths! The more you know about your body, the better. And don't let anybody make you feel bad for liking toys!
07/30/2009
Oggins Oggins
Yeah, it's pretty much false. Vibrators can sometimes temporarily desensitize you but it's nothing permanent. That's usually with the really high powered vibrators too.

A friend of mine, who started using vibes while she was still a virgin, did find it hard to figure out how to orgasm without the vibrations when she did start having sex though. She said it was just because that's what she was used to but there's gobs of women out there who can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation anyway. That may very well have been her case too and she just wasn't aware of it at the time. Either way, she never had any permanent desensitizing (and neither have I!) and nothing really compares to being with another person. Also, there's absolutely nothing wrong with exploring your body and experiencing some new sensations.

I hope this helps and good luck! =)
07/30/2009
Liz2 Liz2
Totally a myth! Sex toys help to know your body and be comfortable with your response to stimulation.
07/30/2009
Rocky LaFemme Rocky LaFemme
Quote:
Originally posted by Yumm
Okay I'm 21 and dangerously to being 22 >_< and I'm still a virgin
and I'm seriously considering buying a sex toy... or two to gain at least some experience. but I've been told that it's a bad idea that i would be ... More
Do not worry about it I was a 21 yr old virgin child of an Air Force Chaplin. Trust me I heard it all so I started with external toys that focused on clitoral stimulation because one I was afraid of pain and two what if my first did not believe did not believe I was a virgin cause I was not in pain the first time. Anywho...the more you know about your body the better. The more orgasms you have the easier they become. So the desensitizing story is a myth.
07/30/2009
ScottA ScottA
Go ahead and get a toy and learn how your body works. The idea that you will not think about sex and then all of a sudden on your wedding night things will be fantastic is a myth. While I'm a guy, I spent quite a bit of time figuring out how my body worked and learning about female sexual response/sexual anatomy and it paid off big time - we both had a great time and I didn't hurt her. By learning how to give yourself pleasure you'll be much more likely to increase the pleasure of intercourse rather than diminishing it. The big thing, for both men and women, is to not build up a psychological "script" that you need to go through in order to orgasm - switch things up a bit.

You can use fingers and dildos to help learn how to relax your vagina/anus/whatever you want and that will also pay off. You'll still be a virgin, too.
07/30/2009
Sleeping Dreamer Sleeping Dreamer
Those are just things our mothers and grandmothers told us so that we wouldn't practice deviant sexual behavior!

I did notice that when I first started using sex toys, I rather enjoyed those with less intense vibrations and now I've graduated to things like the Hitachi but it's all personal preference. Over the years I've just started to masturbate harder and even when I use my fingers, I grind away.

Just think smart when picking your first toy- the first one I picked was made out of stinky jelly and about 6" around- SCARY!!! I thought with my eyes instead of my head.
07/31/2009
gone77 gone77
Quote:
Originally posted by Yumm
Okay I'm 21 and dangerously to being 22 >_< and I'm still a virgin
and I'm seriously considering buying a sex toy... or two to gain at least some experience. but I've been told that it's a bad idea that i would be ... More
Speaking as a virgin who regularly uses all sorts of sex toys, I highly recommend that you try some out. Although I can't speak from experience, I know plenty of people online and offline who use sex toys and also enjoy great stimulation with partners. Whoever said that to you is either ignorant or an asshole. Here's hoping it's merely the former.
07/31/2009
imp imp
Total myth. I was a virgin till the age of 23 by choice. I used plenty of toys before then Enjoy yourself.
08/01/2009
Liz Liz
I used toys for years before I first had sex, and I honestly think it only improved my sex life when I finally did get to have one. Masturbation and playing with toys teaches you more about your own body, your preferences, and what gives you pleasure... and knowing these things make partner sex much more enjoyable.

I've used just about every type of toy imaginable, and I use them frequently. I've never had a problem with desensitization; personally, it seems like the more orgasms I have, the better the subsequent ones become (regardless of how they are achieved). In fact, learning to orgasm with a toy helped me figure out how to have an orgasm during sex.

There's also an element of sex with another person that goes way what you can get from a toy-- so please don't worry that enjoying toys means you won't enjoy sex with a person. They both have the potential to be amazing, fulfilling experiences, but they're very different, and you can absolutely have both!
08/01/2009
Laura Ricklin Laura Ricklin
I agree with everyone, since using sex toys I feel I know my body better and my sex life as reaped the rewards!!
08/02/2009
Envy Envy
It's false. I just turned 22, was a virgin at 21, the whole bit. Never had toys all my teen years or anythign either until recently. It will not desensitize you at all. in fact, i think they're great for helping you learn more about what you like and don't like. It also is safer to have sex with toys than with people because there's no pregnancy or STDs involved with toys (unless you share them).

For example I found I like strong vibrations and more in the tips of vibrators than in the shafts.

Plus as time goes on and you get a partner, you can incorporate those toys into the love making. My guy can't wait to use them on me when I see him again (long distance relationship atm).

So have fun and spoil yourself.
08/08/2009
Alan & Michele Alan & Michele
I've found that if I press too hard and too long with a strong-vibrating clitoral toy, I can become *temporarily* (as in for that session only) desensitized in that area, but never had it happen with a vaginal toy. Toys are a wonderful way to learn what you like and experience new sensations, and you will find that they don't take anything away from the experience of being with a real person.
08/08/2009
Purple Sexy Purple Sexy
Quote:
Originally posted by Yumm
Okay I'm 21 and dangerously to being 22 >_< and I'm still a virgin
and I'm seriously considering buying a sex toy... or two to gain at least some experience. but I've been told that it's a bad idea that i would be ... More
You can use fingers and dildos/vibrators to help learn how to relax your vagina and that will pay off. Also, when you do get a boyfriend he can also use the vibrators on you while enjoying foreplay. You'll still be a virgin, too.
I enjoy the toys while my husband is at work so you can never have enough toys.
09/10/2009
MuffysPinguLove MuffysPinguLove
I used sex toys when I was still a virgin, and it did not ruin the experience of having sex at all. Besides, if you are comfortable with yourself down there and you know just what you like, then the first time will be that much better, because it could potentially remove some of the awkwardness your first time often brings with it.
10/16/2009
Erato Erato
When you can learn to please yourself then you can learn to let someone else please you. Plus you get the joy of being the teacher...
07/27/2010
Geekhyena Geekhyena
I'm still a virgin, and all I've ever used were toys. Rumors about desensitization are false, though I suppose that once I start having sex, I'll have to get used to orgasming that way, but for now, nothing wrong with learning what you like and how your body responds.
08/01/2010
Total posts: 18
Unique posters: 18