Do you believe in marriage

Contributor: PadoruLover PadoruLover
I heard that over 50% of people do not believe in marriage anymore and wanted to see what you guys thought of it? And this is marriage of all forms. Don't worry your names will not show up.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
37  (82%)
5  (11%)
3  (7%)
Total votes: 45
Poll is open
03/21/2014
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Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Yes, I do believe in marriage, and we're legally married for over 20 years.
03/21/2014
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
I do believe that marrying is important. it makes a public statement to the whole world about one's love & commitment to another. when we live w/ someone, we don't make such a public statement. I think making this statement adds something to the commitment not otherwise experienced when living w/ someone. I speak from my experience. for many years I used to not see the value in marriage. now I do. it's about the cementing of a commitment. I know people break that commitment every day. that cementing of the commitment, whatever it means for each couple, is what makes a marriage a marriage. I believe many people get married w/o it.
03/21/2014
Contributor: Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
I believe in it and think it's just not right for everybody. But that doesn't mean it's not right for others. I say it will always have value, but it's not to say that it's necessary to validate a relationship. It's just one way of doing so and has meaning to many people, even some who don't choose that path themselves.

Now, did your question mean to ask if we personally believe that marriage is what we want for ourselves? If so, then yes, I would get married, but it is not an all or nothing issue with me. If my partner didn't want to (for a valid sounding reason), I would not break up with them over it. But, I would expect the same level of commitment and some other symbol of it.
03/21/2014
Contributor: wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
I believe in marriage. Marriage may not be the right thing for some people, because they just cannot escape the "meaning" of being married, but can truly stay committed to that one person for many years without the label. Sometimes labeling things isn't right for that person and that is fine. I have quite a few friends who have been commonlaw with their "spouse" for many, many years.

Two months ago, I would have expressed that I believe marriage is something that I want. But that's because I was in the throes of being utterly in love and engaged. Now, I think I can go back to what I've said since high school "if someone wants to marry me, I will marry them, but if they don't want to marry and we just stay together for years and years... then that is what I will do."
03/21/2014
Contributor: dnb dnb
Quote:
Originally posted by PadoruLover
I heard that over 50% of people do not believe in marriage anymore and wanted to see what you guys thought of it? And this is marriage of all forms. Don't worry your names will not show up.
Oh my dear Lord yes. Nothing greater than a marriage such as my wife's and I.
03/22/2014
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
I believe that marriage is wonderful. However, to make it last you need to consider yourself a team:
* Both should put the other person ahead of yourself. Think what is best for us as a couple instead of just what is best for me.
* Don't think of leaving whenever things get tough, because they will. If you think of marriage as temporary it will be.
* Love and respect each other even when you don't agree.
* Don't make personal attacks, discuss the issue and the underlying fear/concern.
* Never talk negatively about your spouse to others or insult them in public even if it is a joke. Don't participate in the bash the husband/wife sessions with friends or co-workers. Have you ever seen a successful team cut each other down in public?
* Never get/let family members be involved in your affairs. If you take your complaints to your family, they will want to protect you and their advice will be bias. They will hold a grudge against your partner long after you have forgiven and moved on.

We are taught to look out for number one. That does not work in a marriage. If you want to do that, save a lot of time and money - stay single.
03/22/2014
Contributor: Kitt Katt Kitt Katt
Happily married for 25+ years, so yes ...I definitely believe in marriage.
03/22/2014
Contributor: Kitten has left the site Kitten has left the site
Very much so. We've been happily married for 4 years now. It takes a lot to make a marriage really work and it's well worth it for some. Some people aren't the marrying type and some are.
03/22/2014
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Yes we do. And we hope everyone can find someone to share their life with. And to start a family. Having children to love and raise is God's greatest gift.
03/22/2014
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by PadoruLover
I heard that over 50% of people do not believe in marriage anymore and wanted to see what you guys thought of it? And this is marriage of all forms. Don't worry your names will not show up.
With the right partner (and I have indeed found that), it is the most wonderful way to spend one's life. Someone always has my back. No "alone" issues and someone to share all the joys (and sorrows) life throws our way. It's been 30 years and he is still my best friend, my best lover and the right guy for every occasion in my life.
03/23/2014
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitt Katt
Happily married for 25+ years, so yes ...I definitely believe in marriage.
HELLO...glad we are not the only "oldly weds" here!
03/23/2014
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Pete's Princess
I believe that marriage is wonderful. However, to make it last you need to consider yourself a team:
* Both should put the other person ahead of yourself. Think what is best for us as a couple instead of just what is best for me.
* ... more
Pretty good advice.
03/23/2014
Contributor: PadoruLover PadoruLover
Quote:
Originally posted by Pete's Princess
I believe that marriage is wonderful. However, to make it last you need to consider yourself a team:
* Both should put the other person ahead of yourself. Think what is best for us as a couple instead of just what is best for me.
* ... more
Thanks for the advise
03/23/2014
Contributor: js250 js250
Definitely. There are many types of marriages, you just need to respect and understand that what is right for one couple does not mean it is right for others....

17 years married to my soulmate...wish it would have been much longer, but very grateful to have had 'us' for even that short of time! He is dearly missed!
03/23/2014
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
I believe in the tax, health insurance and retirement benefits that accrue to being married. Hopeful those befits will FINALLY be fully extended to all same sex partners. I would like to see the benefits of marriage ALSO cover Poly Partnerships.
03/24/2014
Contributor: Hermosura21 Hermosura21
Quote:
Originally posted by Pete's Princess
I believe that marriage is wonderful. However, to make it last you need to consider yourself a team:
* Both should put the other person ahead of yourself. Think what is best for us as a couple instead of just what is best for me.
* ... more
Totally Agree .
I have been married for 6 years.
03/25/2014
Contributor: Lvstoplay Lvstoplay
Quote:
Originally posted by PadoruLover
I heard that over 50% of people do not believe in marriage anymore and wanted to see what you guys thought of it? And this is marriage of all forms. Don't worry your names will not show up.
I've been married for 6 years. I don't think it needs to necessarily be a religious ceremony, but some kind of legal marriage is important.
03/28/2014
Contributor: CinnamonNights CinnamonNights
I "believe" in marriage sorta? I think there's different sorts of marriage types.

I don't believe in the original marriage values, where you marry for property, power, status, or just to use and own the other person for your own gain. I mean, I do still think marriage is literally just about sharing property. It's just a dick move to get part of someones stuff if you can barely tolerate them.

I also don't believe in what I call the "leak fixing" marriage that I've seen a lot of. The type where you propose mostly to try and make your partner not be mad at you. The type where you marry because "I need to be married, doesn't matter who". Or the marriage where people think that getting a ring will "fix" any holes in their relationship. If your relationship isn't strong, marriage wont make it that way. It wont make a partner commit if they don't already WANT to. I don't think marriage is super glue, it'll bond your lives in a way, but it wont make love where there is none.

I dunno, I believe in the simple "marry who you love" ideal. Marriage between people who seriously love each other. I also believe marriage is an institution mostly for sharing property. I just think deciding its a institution about love is all up to you and your significant other. My mister and I personally choose the love route.
03/28/2014
Contributor: megankl0618 megankl0618
Quote:
Originally posted by PadoruLover
I heard that over 50% of people do not believe in marriage anymore and wanted to see what you guys thought of it? And this is marriage of all forms. Don't worry your names will not show up.
I am right on the line. If I do get married, then great! If I don't, then so be it. I won't loose sleep at night over it.
04/05/2014
Contributor: Andykh Andykh
Quote:
Originally posted by OH&W, Lovebears
Yes we do. And we hope everyone can find someone to share their life with. And to start a family. Having children to love and raise is God's greatest gift.
amen to that. couldn't have said it any better myself
06/08/2014
Contributor: KinkyCouple KinkyCouple
After being married for two years I can see both sides. On one hand being married is joyous and it's wonderful knowing that someone always has your back. On the other hand it's just an expensive ceremony and a piece of paper that for some reason makes you fight more. That being said I wouldn't trade being married to my amazing husband for anything.
06/08/2014
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Marriage in what sense? Is it in the legal sense of two people contracting with the state, local government and national government for tax breaks and penalties? Is it in the religious sense of 2 people joining their lives together for perpetuity before their friends and their religious authority? Is it in the sense that 2 people come together and promise to each other to sexual fidelity and somewhat equal division of daily and monthly chores? Perhaps in the sense of building and rearing a family?

There are too many ways to slice this pie... The short answer is sure, but, if one believes in marriage then shouldn't one also believe in divorce.
10/04/2015
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Marriage in what sense? Is it in the legal sense of two people contracting with the state, local government and national government for tax breaks and penalties? Is it in the religious sense of 2 people joining their lives together for perpetuity ... more
Very well said!
10/05/2015
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Marriage in what sense? Is it in the legal sense of two people contracting with the state, local government and national government for tax breaks and penalties? Is it in the religious sense of 2 people joining their lives together for perpetuity ... more
Isn't 'till death do us part' (or phrased in some other way) part of wedding vows? So as logic follows, there is no divorce.
10/06/2015
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by edeneve
Isn't 'till death do us part' (or phrased in some other way) part of wedding vows? So as logic follows, there is no divorce.
Well if you want to play it that way.

I can shock you with a defibrillator, stop your heart, declare you dead then bring you back.



All in a half days work.
10/07/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Well if you want to play it that way.

I can shock you with a defibrillator, stop your heart, declare you dead then bring you back.



All in a half days work.
Wow, now that's some hard core BDSM play.
10/07/2015
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Wow, now that's some hard core BDSM play.
LOL, That is tame compared to what I know goes on. I've played safety officer more than once and that stuff can be scary and bloody if you let people free to do as they "truly" please.
10/11/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by edeneve
Isn't 'till death do us part' (or phrased in some other way) part of wedding vows? So as logic follows, there is no divorce.
It doesn't have to be. It really all depends on how the couple has the ceremony performed. I've been to weddings where that specific phrase wasn't mentioned.
10/23/2015
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Well if you want to play it that way.

I can shock you with a defibrillator, stop your heart, declare you dead then bring you back.



All in a half days work.
Not the same thing as those words mean.
10/23/2015