Have you ever been prescribed a medication that changed who you were?

I was going to say not really, but Klonopin? Hell yes! That does change a lot. I wasn't on it for a long time, but when I did take it, I was a zom... bie!

I wouldn't say any of the medications I've been on have ever turned me mean or hostile or anything really like that, but a lot of them have changed how I felt -- like crap & draggy and in a zoned out or high state -- and things like that. I didn't ever really stay on any medications that did that to me for a super long time.

When I had surgery for endometriosis, my surgeon did not remove all the lesions, some were "too deep," and I still had the same exact amount of problems, even after surgery. So, my OB/GYN prescribed me medication for the pain & something else that was for the stomach pains and anxiety too. It made me pretty crappy. He told me to be sure I took 4 a day.

That was bad. I never was even able to make it past 3 in one day and that caused me to literally be soooooo exhausted and high that I never even made it off of my bed that day. This was not something I could do. He told me to keep trying and I'd get used to it. Yeah. I did not want to get used to feeling so heavy, high and exhausted that I couldn't move. So I did try though, for less than a week & I just laid there, zoning in and out. Staring literally for days at the same X-box screen while my partner played. I'd close my eyes for hours and never move. No way to actually live like that.

So I went to only one a day. I got to where I'd only take it right before bed unless I was experiencing a whole hell of a lot of pain, and then I'd take it in hopes of relief. It never gave me a whole lot of relief as far as pain goes.

I know when I'd take it, I'd sleep great & also have the munchies. Lol. But if I didn't get a solid 4 hours of sleep after taking the one pill, I would be high out of my head. And I wouldn't have a clue about things that had happened anytime before the 4 hours of sleep or during. IT got to be very scary! I'd have company (family) stop by sometimes and I wouldn't remember anything sometimes. Sometimes I would not ever remember them being here and talking to me. Other times, I'd wake up and hours later, I'd feel like I had a dream that my sister came by and said something important. There have been so many times that I've had to call my sisters and ask if I'd only dreamed it or if they came by and said something, then I'd have to get them to repeat whatever they told me during that time. They knew I was struggling with the meds, so they didn't think I was crazy.

But being that out of it got to be scary because of the things I wouldn't remember. We started worrying that something bad could happen during the time the meds were working (house fire, break ins, etc.) and I wouldn't wake up or get out or be able to help myself in some bad situation.

So I was not wanting to take those things for the rest of my life. I just wanted to live a life & the pain was not allowing me to, but I also wanted to not be high every morning. So I started looking at Ayurveda and alternative, natural remedies for my problems. I tried many, many things, wheatgrasss with crappy results as far as the endo and IBS go, then tried coconut oil. It helped quite a bit, but I was experiencing a lot of herxing (die-off) and it would get me just as sick as the endometriosis and IBS, so I then tried aloe vera in pill form.

Two weeks of the aloe and I was a brand new person. I'd been severely ill since I was right around 16. I couldn't even leave the house for long because of being so sick all the time. And then I was feeling sooo much better in just two weeks. So I kept taking the aloe & it got to be way too expensive at $30 for 2-3 months supply. So we went and bought an aloe plant, $9 the Summer before last & I just now ate the last of it a couple weeks ago. So that was much, much cheaper.

Anyways, what I was getting at was that less than 2 full weeks of being on the aloe vera and I was able to completely drop the medications without problem. I felt amazing & I only took them I think once, maybe twice after getting better with aloe & that was because I had a flare up. But I've not gotten the prescriptions filled since... right around the time I started with the aloe plant. I still have one or two of the medications laying around, but have no need for them. I do have minor flare ups, but I stay on top of it. The anxiety is wayyy gone! I haven't had but one panic attack since starting aloe vera. I still take it when needed to keep things in check, but I've also since added a whole lot of other healthy things into my lifestyle like oil-pulling, taking wheatgrass (not for the pain, just for the health benefits in general), etc.

So I can kind of relate. I am so sorry to hear it pretty much ruined your life. I can see how. Klonopin is strong, as is Seraquil, which is another one that puts me out of it for so many hours that it's scary.

It's scary that these prescriptions can change people so much. Especially when you can't do without them because of a condition. That would be awful to deal with. Anyways, were you able to stop the Klonopin? I get the impression you've gotten better? Have you? How did you do it? Was it tough to be off of the medication? Did you have bad effects from going off of it? I guess that would depend on why you were taking it, as I know there are different reasons for it to get prescribed. I know several people who get it to help them sleep. Now, if I've gone days with only a few hours sleep, I'll take Melatonin and would even take a sleeping medication, but I normally don't need that unless I'm having a week-long phase where I do not sleep (about every 3-4 mos. for some reason.)

Anyways, I'd really be interested in knowing how it went for you, if you are comfortable sharing. I mean, do you feel better if you are off of the Klonopin? Just curious.

My ex-gf hated my adderall use. I'd focus on everything I needed or wanted and ignored her needs. Not quite narcissism, more like wearing blinders. Sex was nice. She'd start with giving a relaxing 3/10 while I'd respond 10/10! She really ate that up, getting her man off so easily. I stopped the drug when she finally communicated how it made me someone else. We resumed as when first met: a normal couple of humans sharing company and attraction. A move/careers/family issues eventually separated us. Been single since, again on adderall... perhaps coincidence?

What is "giving a relaxing 3/10 while I'd respond 10/10"?
Sorry btw that it didn't work out with your GF.

I have been prescribed something in the past that killed my libido,I no longer take it though.

I take modafinil and it does not work like that.

I really don't think I can say any of the medications I've been on changed who I was as person. I've been through MANY medications and have had to suffer through a lot of disheartening side effects, but the core of me has never really been changed. The meds I'm on now allow me to really be me and to not be controlled by an illness.

Sorry you had such a bad experience. I would suggest working with your doc to find something that works for you.