My partner and I use this as a penis connected to our harness, and also as a dildo. There is technically no best way to use this toy, except how you are supposed to use it. We used it as a dildo first to get used to the feeling and size of it, and then later as a strap-on. We also usually use it with lube, as the material seems to sting a bit when going in and out fast. We suggest using lube to start out, as a precautionary measure. We are contemplating on using a condom to cover the dildo to see if it makes any difference with the material, and the stinging.