Titanmen David Anthony - realistic dildo by Doc Johnson - review by ajlq

  • Christmas shipping schedule
  • 20% OFF sitewide — Code: ENJOY20

Add resource

Loosen up to take the Titanmen

Frankly, David Anthony, you’re limiting. I can’t do many positions with you (else you’ll maybe skewer a kidney). You're really for the goal-oriented types that like to climb a mountain just ‘cause it’s there, then shove it in them. A dildo like this takes work: extra foreplay, extra time, gallons of lube, and a nice nap afterward. It’s an interesting challenge but it’s not an everyday toy; it’s more like that eggnog that you’re glad to see once a year but are also relieved when it’s gone.
Published:
Pros:
It's GINORMOUS.
It's realistic, fun to play with, a substitute cock when there’s no real meat.
Cons:
It's GINORMOUS.
The smell is very strong.
Rating by reviewer:
5
useful review
Dear David Anthony,

I just received the dildo today. How thoughtful! It’ll be a terrific reminder of our fantastic lovemaking, to recall the beautiful curve of your lovestick and how, when you’d slide it in, it would feel like you’d just driven a truck into my ‘giney.

The box says it was molded from you and it certainly looks like your juicy beast but I don’t remember you having a uniball? I would’ve noticed had your cock smelled like this one, though. You know that expression “so ugly you’ve got to bag it to fuck it”? Well this badboy needs to be bagged afterward to prevent your house from being overtaken by a cloyingly fake-sweet smell like Twinkies mixed with molten flip-flops.

But if you haven’t seen the finished product, it’s mantastic: realistic coloration, bulging veins and enormous chiseled mushroomy head, the words DOC JOHNSON grooved into your balls. Its sexy severe curve makes for a fun game, deciding whether to take it right-side-up or flip it the other way for a different sensation. Of course it hits my g-spot either way: managing to miss would be like driving a monster truck into a small parking spot and trying to miss a shopping cart parked within. Its not only curved like yours, it even--well you always hated the word ‘lopsided’--lilts to the right like yours, and an interesting shape makes for an interesting fuck.

The suction cup is a little piece of wonder all on its own. (I presume you never had a suction cup but for all I know you do, maybe your wiener was always suction-cupped to your person and I just never noticed...I think whenever you came at me with that thing I closed my eyes and held my breath, waiting for a ripping sound to emanate from my vag.) How does it adhere its massive meat-weight to the wall and endure the stress of me wiggling around on it? Of course, putting it on the wall and trying to hump it is nearly impossible because there’s no way to spread one’s legs open far enough to fit that, then to keep balance while fucking it on the wall, but the suction is great for keeping it stuck to a counter or chair for mounting it...really gotta climb on that thing rather than trying to slide it in frontways unless your hole can easily fit a few large eggs. (Note: writer in no way endorses scrambling eggs in your hole.) Suction-cup dildos are great for doggy-style but no way I could get that thing to fit in me, in that position.

Remember that year we went to my Aunt Edna’s for Thanksgiving and she made a 22-pound turkey, and you ate so much that you sat around clutching your midsection and saying how full you felt? Making love to you was like sitting on that turkey. Now those people that like everything supersized can even have supersized sex. “The extra-super-massive piece of meat for ten cents more, please!” It’s like a workout for the hole...but I don't always WANT to feel the stretch, feel the burn.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
Become a Reviewer. Get free toys. Enjoy Special Deals
My Titanmen David Anthony tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Masturbation
    • Sex
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • G-spot
    • Oral
This review was edited by
  • sexyintexas sexyintexas
  • Rank:
     
    6.7
  • Edited reviews: 357
Do you like this review?
Comments
  • sexyintexas
    sexyintexas  
    Lol, he is a big one! I love mine!
  • Miss Nessa
    Miss Nessa  
    Thanks for writing and sharing the review! Very Good
    That thing is HUGE
  • Lucky21
    Lucky21  
    Great review!
  • angel142stx
    angel142stx  
    Thanks for the review
  • comatose-kitty
    comatose-kitty  
    "GINORMOUS" XD
  • Michele
    Michele  
    Great review! Thank you for sharing.
  • Petite Valentine
    Petite Valentine  
    You have a very entertaining writing voice.
  • ace.eric.pollen
    ace.eric.pollen  
    nice review!
  • noelleish
    noelleish  
    nice review!
  • lilys
    lilys  
    ty
  • sweetpea12
    sweetpea12  
    Thanks for the great review! It's really funny
  • CinLuvsBre
    CinLuvsBre  
    ty
  • 3d3n1
    3d3n1  
    Entertaining review.
  • pixxie87
    pixxie87  
    want want want ty
  • ViVix
    ViVix  
    Thanks for the size and smell warnings!
Forum
Discussion Posts Last Update
Realistic 4
Thank you for viewing Titanmen David Anthony – realistic dildo review page!