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My First Pump is the Worst Pump

This clitoral pump smells gross, doesn't stay on my clit, can't produce pleasing clitoral suction, and overall has been a massive disappointment.
Published:
Pros:
Cute-looking
Cons:
Finicky suction
Weak vibrations
Falls over easily
Tacky packaging
Porous, smelly material
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

This feminine-looking clitoral pump by California Exotics is meant to be used to redirect bloodflow toward the clitoral area, resulting in heightened arousal. It's big enough that it could theoretically be used on the head of a penis, though the instructions and marketing materials don't mention this.

Material / Texture

I thought this toy would be okay, as far as materials go, because its product page says it's made of plastic and "TPR silicone" (thermoplastic rubber silicone). I should have known better. TPR is gross, even when mixed with silicone. It has a strong rubbery smell, like the bottom of a new pair of sneakers, which gives the entire toy a sense of cheapness and certainly doesn't allow me to relax into arousal or enjoyment.

The toy comes with two different inserts for the clitoral portion: one which is smooth except for a small bump in the middle, and one which has several nubby protrusions on the inside. I don't enjoy texture on my clit, so I didn't like the nubby insert and only used it once before deciding it wasn't going to work for me. The smooth insert is unremarkable but at least it isn't uncomfortable.

Design / Shape / Size

As is typical for California Exotics toys, this pump looks pretty sleazy and cheap. The main part of it is translucent, pink, and glittery. Some women out there would enjoy this aesthetic, but I don't.

The heart motif of the toy is kind of cute. The rubber squeeze-ball is pink and covered in little raised hearts, and the button which releases the suction is also a heart. In some ways, I appreciate that this toy looks and feels "fun" rather than cold and clinical (though a more clinical-seeming toy probably would have worked better than this one). The squeeze-ball fits comfortably in my hand and is easy enough to squeeze.

The part that goes on the clit is about twice the size of my clit. Apparently it's designed to be able to arouse the area around the clit as well, including the inner labia, but I think a clit-focused design would have been more effective. However, if your clit is fairly large, this pump will probably fit you well.

The textured inserts are very difficult to remove and put on. It involves a lot of stretching and pulling, and requires dexterity.

Because of this toy's aesthetic, it actually looks more like a children's toy than a sex toy. For that reason, it may be somewhat discreet as long as you're with people who don't know what a genital pump looks like.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The strange thing about this toy is that, while I know it can produce significant suction, it's almost impossible to make this suction happen on my clit. The squeeze-ball has to be compressed when you put the pump on your clit, which I've found really difficult to achieve, because I need one hand to squeeze the ball, one hand to hold my labia open so I can access my clit, and one hand to place the pump. Obviously, I don't have that many hands. I've mainly resorted to sitting on the squeeze-ball while I hold my labia open and place the pump on my clit.

The other issue with this pump is that it doesn't stay put on my clit, even when suction is applied. The seal breaks as soon as I let go of the pump, and it falls over. This means that it would be impossible for me to use a dildo in conjunction with this toy, and I have to basically focus all of my attention and energy on this toy when I'm using it.

I tested this toy on my hand, and noticed that it could produce some great suction in that setting - but it just couldn't get a grip on my clit, for whatever reason.

The vibrations are far too weak to lead to an orgasm, though I don't think that orgasm is really the goal with this toy. It's intended more for building arousal.

Care and Maintenance

The toy comes with a couple of little sponges to prevent lube from leaking into the battery chamber, which is very thoughtful of them, though I have to wonder why they didn't just design the toy in such a way that the battery chamber was automatically protected from lube leaks.

It's important to avoid using silicone-based lubes with this toy, because one of its materials contains silicone.

Packaging

As with most California Exotics products, this clit pump comes in a very tacky-looking box featuring a half-nude woman (inexplicably dressed in a man's shirt and tie, which I hope isn't CalEx's way of saying that they think an engorged clit makes a woman masculine) and explicit text. The back of the box has a photo of the toy and lists many of its features. This packaging is the polar opposite of "discreet."
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • kadelette
    kadelette  
    I'm sorry it was such a flop. Thank you for a thorough, honest review though!
  • Missmarc
    Missmarc  
    Great review, thank you!
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    Great review, thank you!
  • Beneath The Bed
    Beneath The Bed  
    Thanks for the review!
  • kendra30752
    kendra30752  
    Darn. This sounds awful. I'm sorry it was such a pain to deal with. I like your idea of sitting on the pumper thing. I don't think I'd like the trouble of dealing with this. I have to agree on Cal Ex and they're packaging. I avoid them with everything I have not only because the horrid packaging, but the downright awful quality of their toys. I've never had a real quality toy from them. Anyways, thanks for sharing. I wish other companies would design pumps. They're fun, if they're done right. I have one small pink thing that's just one item -- the pump is on the end of the suction cup (not attached via a cord) and there's a bullet vibrator that's stuck in the back of it. I have actually had a lot of fun with it, but don't use it very often. I don't remember the name of it, but it seems like it was a Doc Johnson toy.
  • Edeneve
    Edeneve  
    great review. I have a different type of clit pump & love it.
  • lainebug
    lainebug  
    thanx
  • sexyfish
    sexyfish  
    i appreciate the honest review
  • AzealiaB
    AzealiaB  
    thanks for the review, doesn't seem like this would work at all...
  • GONE!
    GONE!  
    Thanks for the honest review!
  • TheirPet
    TheirPet  
    Great review. Sorry it didn't work for you.
  • Boyqueen
    Boyqueen  
    Damn, I'm sad it didn't work out.
  • Rod Ronald
    Rod Ronald  
    Thanks for the review
  • unicorn64
    unicorn64  
    Damn, I had hoped maybe this would work to pull blood into my little bitty clit. I guess not. I may keep trying though.
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