E-Z pump - penis pump by Cal Exotics - review by Rod Martini

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Sucky sucky 15 dolla! And not a terrible product...

Aside from the poor excuse for a pressure release valve and the unremovable hose, the pump actually does a good job considering how little it costs. The price is right and it has plenty sucking power to chub up just about any lazy dong. For only $15 you can make your dick look like an angry GI Joe!
Published:
Pros:
It is cheap and it produces plenty of suction.
Cons:
It's difficult to clean and it requires 2 hands.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review
When the pump arrived, it was shipped in a somewhat large box (5"x8"x14"). So, if you live in a place where shipping can be a hassle or you have a small mailbox, make arrangements. After opening the box the pump's packaging was only slightly smaller at 2.5"x6.5"x14" (which explained the shipping box). It comes in an easy open blister pack, and it pops right out. The first thing I did when I opened it was just give it a quick rinse. You can NEVER be too clean when it comes to sex toys. Your junk is your best friend, you should treat it with respect! The only assembly required is to install the bulb's hose to the cylinder of the pump. This step does require a little bit of muscle but assuming that you have a penis, you should probably be strong enough complete this without fail. Once you have cleaned and assembled your pump, find yourself a good cock ring and you can start pumping right away.

When you begin to use your E-Z pump it is important to lube yourself and the pump sleeve. Because the sleeve is essentially just a cut up party balloon it can create quite a bit of pinching and binding if the latex is not able to gently slide around your penis. Which brings me to another good point. If you happen to be allergic to latex, the sleeve is the only part of the toy that is made of it. And, the sleeve is easily removable and not imperative for the pumping process. With gloves or something, pull off the sleeve and wash the cylinder inside and out and you should have no problems.

One aspect of the E-Z pump's design that didn't quite tickle my fancy was what they called the "easy release valve" feature. Wow, what an oversell. Instead of fitting a pressure release valve to the hose or bulb, they just drilled a hole in the side of the cylinder. I understand that this reduces manufacturing cost but they really pulled a "Ford Pinto" on this one. Instead of spending just a few more pennies on the valve they cut a corner and now it requires you to plug the hole with your thumb while you pump. This means the entire time you are pumping your finger has to be covering that hole or you lose all your suction. So, that's one hand to cover the hole, and one hand to pump the bulb. Now I'm no rocket surgeon, but that leaves zero hands to scroll through porn on the internet!

Another large flaw in the E-Z pump's design is the serrated hose fitting they used to attach the bulb's hose to the cylinder. Because of the acute grooves in the fitting, once you slide the hose on it is near impossible to get it back off again. Let's say you are just finished pumping. And because it is horribly uncomfortable to pump without lube, there will be a nice film of cock shaped lube prints all over the inside of the cylinder. This means that if you are trying to clean your pump after a suck-session, there is a possibility that you could get water and lube down into the hose or even into the bulb. This invites bacteria and fungus to grow in these dark places if you are not very careful to keep water from entering the hose when you wash it.

The E-Z pump's cylinder is about 7.5 inches deep and about 2 inches in diameter. The sleeve is very stretchy and can accommodate just about any size cock but do realize, after pumping you will be bigger! So if its real snug goin' in, it probably ain't comin' out. The hose is almost 12 inches long, which provides plenty of mobility for the bulb.

Please remember that pumping can be very dangerous and should be done with extreme caution if not under supervision. The pressure in the cylinder can rise well above a dangerous level. Pumping can cause severe damage to blood vessels or lead to serious cases of burst cock if not handled with care. Other symptoms may include dizziness due to lack of blood to the head, hot sensations, tingling, and maliciously battered pussies for those you come in contact with. Have fun, stay clean, be safe.
Experience
My personal experince with the E-Z pump was sort of a disappointment. I am about 6 inches long and do not have erectile disfunction, so I wasn't in dire need of a means of getting hard. I just got the pump to see how much bigger it might make me. So, I lubed up and pumped the bulb a few times to get myself in. At first nothing happened because my finger wasn't covering that stupid hole in the side of the cylinder. So, I just put a piece of tape over it. If you tape over your pressure release hold, make sure you fold the edge of the tape so you can quickly remove it. If you go one pump too far you really don't want to be stuck in that thing while you're trying to pick that tape off. After maybe 4 or 5 squeezes of the bulb I was already rock hard and it looked like every vein in my dick was about to blow. Now this is where the experience turned for me. You know as a child, when you saw a toy in the window of a department store, and you really wanted it? So you begged your parents to buy it for you, and then you got it and it wasn't that great. That is exactly how it went. My dick looked huge in the window!! But because my cock ring wasn't tight enough as soon as I released the pressure it went almost back to normal. Get yourself a good cock ring and cinch that puppy down!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My E-Z pump tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Foreplay
    • Men
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom / on a bed
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Solution for erectile disfunction
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Cock-n-balls
This review was edited by
  • Jul!a Jul!a
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    7.5
  • Edited reviews: 332
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Comments
  • Andrey2052
    Andrey2052  
    Thanks for sharing!
  • darkkitty
    darkkitty  
    Thank you!
  • MK434
    MK434  
    Thanks for the review!
  • Amber1w
    Amber1w  
    thanks for the review, looking for one for the hubby he wants to try one out, for what ever reason, but he doesnt want me to spend to much, your review is really helpful !!!
  • thebest
    thebest  
    ty
  • Anne
    Anne  
    thanks for the review
  • PassionCpl
    PassionCpl  
    Some great info there, thanks
  • sXeVegan90
    sXeVegan90  
    Thank you for the review.
  • srexom
    srexom  
    thanks for your review.
  • Desirae Alisia Weatherby
    Desirae Alisia Weatherby  
    Thinking about getting this one hubby is odd and wants to try.
  • drock
    drock  
    TY
  • wickedclowns95
    wickedclowns95  
    Thanks for the review!
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