For Traditional Mistress
Published: February 7, 2010
somewhat useful review
Claudia Varrin's Female Dominance is an interesting read for any beginning dominant woman, it does however have a strong heterosexual tone.
Pros:
Full of information, good for beginners, written in a personal tone.
Cons:
Heteronormative, strange terminology issues.
Right off the bat I was slightly disappointed in Varrin's book, Female Dominance. I tend to be a little picky, but I found this book fairly heavy in heteronormativity. The submissive is considered to be male and female subs seem to only be referred to as helpful for play with your male slave.
The beginning section about the "types" of Mistresses seem to revolve around clothing, which seems to be automatically perceived as feminine. In the BDSM circle it is popular for women in a dominant role to involve more ultra feminine and even uncomfortable clothing. I find that interesting as thoughts of a masculine Domina seems taboo.
I found the use of "us girls" language to be interesting in a book about female dominance, since "girl" tends to be perceived as a more adolescent term. Certainly if another dominant woman referred to me as a "girl" I would correct her, especially in a play setting.
That being said there are many good points about this book. The section regarding safe words and the instruction in the bondage part were helpful, especially for someone moving from curiosity to implementation. The bondage section really does have a good primer for rope play, more than I've learned from rope workshops.
I was not a fan of the term "he-she" in the section on cross-dressers. I've always thought of that term as a derogatory word. Used in humiliation play I would understand, but using the term when referring to cross-dressers just seemed odd to me.
The discipline section is interesting and useful for those Domina who only play with male submissives. There was no complimentary section for those of us who may wish to play with female submissives as well.
With all my critiques, there is a ton of substance to this book. I believe it's a great starter for female dominant individuals. There are examples of play sessions, tips for humiliation, edge play, objectivity, and more.
I list my complaints to warn individuals who may be looking for a more gender fluid style of dominance. But putting those issues aside, this book is still useful for those who do not have male submissives.
I believe that I will refer to this book in the future, especially when considering an agenda for play sessions.
The beginning section about the "types" of Mistresses seem to revolve around clothing, which seems to be automatically perceived as feminine. In the BDSM circle it is popular for women in a dominant role to involve more ultra feminine and even uncomfortable clothing. I find that interesting as thoughts of a masculine Domina seems taboo.
I found the use of "us girls" language to be interesting in a book about female dominance, since "girl" tends to be perceived as a more adolescent term. Certainly if another dominant woman referred to me as a "girl" I would correct her, especially in a play setting.
That being said there are many good points about this book. The section regarding safe words and the instruction in the bondage part were helpful, especially for someone moving from curiosity to implementation. The bondage section really does have a good primer for rope play, more than I've learned from rope workshops.
I was not a fan of the term "he-she" in the section on cross-dressers. I've always thought of that term as a derogatory word. Used in humiliation play I would understand, but using the term when referring to cross-dressers just seemed odd to me.
The discipline section is interesting and useful for those Domina who only play with male submissives. There was no complimentary section for those of us who may wish to play with female submissives as well.
With all my critiques, there is a ton of substance to this book. I believe it's a great starter for female dominant individuals. There are examples of play sessions, tips for humiliation, edge play, objectivity, and more.
I list my complaints to warn individuals who may be looking for a more gender fluid style of dominance. But putting those issues aside, this book is still useful for those who do not have male submissives.
I believe that I will refer to this book in the future, especially when considering an agenda for play sessions.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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That sounds like an interesting read. What is the importance given to each part of the book? For instance, 1/10 of the book is about bondage. Or is everything pretty much mixed together? Depending on what's the main topics of the book, I could seriously consider buying that one.
I am glad you explained that it is full of information, and that your complaints are just that, yours. I will say that your complaints are very valid as I know a lot of Dommes who love to play with females subs as well as male.
Also I find he-she to be odd too. I thought we only said that in like 3rd grade when we didn't know better. How odd.
Sounds like an interesting book
Thanks for the review
Sounds interesting, nice
I have found in many books I've read about Femdom that there is an automatic assumptions toward F/m relationships and that female domination must be intertwined with femininity which is definitely limiting. Good to know that about this book, too