A Peek into the World of Female Dominance

"Female Dominance: Rituals and Practices" is a fairly well-written guide on the art of femdom by former pro-dominatrix Claudia Varrin. I first read this book a few years ago when I initially became interested in learning more about the psychology of BDSM, particularly the elements behind exchanges involving male submission and female domination. I remember thinking, "Ohh, a book by an actual pro-domme will surely tell me everything I need to know!". Well, yes and no, as it turns out. My biggest criticism of Ms. Varrin's writing style for *this* book (she has written several other books on femdom as well as one on female submission) is that she tends to exhibit a voice of assumption tinged with a touch of pretentiousness. In other words, I quickly got the feeling that I was supposed to already have had a moderate amount of BDSM and/or femdom experience before I picked up "Female Dominance". It was assumed by the author that I'd already read her previous offering, "The Sensual Art of Female Dominance" (which I hadn't) and she makes several references to her earlier treatise throughout the book. To be fair, her writing style is elegant and intelligent. But for those who are curious or just beginning to explore the realm of female domination, this book is not a primer and you might want to save this particular volume until you've gotten your feet (or other body parts) wet.

When I recently revisited "Female Dominance", my experience was somewhat different. This time, I found myself a bit more appreciative of Ms Varrin's portrayal of the practice of female-led relationships and kinky, femdom encounters. As several years have passed since my original attempt at perusing this publication, my perspectives and experiences have subsequently changed and deepened. Because of my own "inner-evolutionary" processes, "Female Dominance" fit better with my expectations and ability to comprehend where the author was coming from.

The book is part "how-to" guide and part explanation of what goes on in femdom scenarios, both within a pro-domme and lifestyle femdom context. To give the author credit, Ms Varrin does know what she is talking about when she discusses the personality types commonly found in different BDSM role plays. I enjoyed the sections describing various fetishists and the corresponding ideas for naughty games and scenes. She did a decent job touching on the psychology behind the fetish, and gave me some fresh perspectives to aid in designing my own kink choreography. She clearly has a sincere love for what she does and how she practices her kinks and fetishes. While she has been involved in the BDSM scene as a professional dominatrix, she also shares glimpses into what she defines as the "midnight-purple world" of romantic BDSM. She is a self-proclaimed sensual female dominant and one gets the impression that Ms Varrin is bathed in a glow of euphoria when she is engaging in BDSM relationships and/or activities. She does not come across as one who looks down on males who chose to submit to women; quite the contrary, she holds them in high regard. I liked that about this book, and I concur with Ms Varrin's position that sexually (and otherwise) submissively inclined persons are especially strong and admirable.

As an aside, "Female Dominance" doesn't really cater at all to the dynamic of femdom relationships involving two females. It's as though the milieu of femdom in Ms Varrin's experience is limited to mostly heterosexual participants. That may be the case, which is all well and good. The book was published in 2004, and I hesitate to think that the fetish scene dipped into heterosexual-only adventures at that time. Nonetheless, when you read "Female Dominance", be prepared to observe the musings of a woman who seemingly loves to control the male species almost exclusively. (doesn't she know women topping other women are HOT??)

The book covers quite a bit of ground and provides some helpful and erotic insights into the world of female dominance. Ms Varrin often shares personal anecdotes detailing her own femdom encounters and allows the reader to benefit from her creativity. Some of the passages are sexy, some humorous, and yet other scenarios are downright bizarre. The book offers a variety of intriguing ideas for ways to incorporate role playing, bondage scenarios, erotic humiliation games, feminization fantasies and a variety of other fetish-themed activities. While Ms Varrin makes a few general points about the importance of utilizing safe, sane and consensual techniques in BDSM play, she doesn't necessarily spend a whole lot of time breaking down safety pointers for the scenarios she depicts. As I mentioned earlier, if you are a newcomer to the BDSM scene, this book may not be the most reliable resource in terms of depicting a realistic approach to female dominance or fetish exploration.

Ms Varrin can come across as uppity at times, almost making me feel as though I was being schooled in some elite practice. I mean, we're talking about *kinky sex games*, right? Let me rephrase. My personal belief is BDSM is NOT all about kinky sex and there are many facets of this lifestyle that are not centered on sex. Ms Varrin does not make any such statement either, but she does seem to take herself and what she does a bit too seriously at times. Then again, Claudia Varrin likes to refer to herself as a "Diva" and she obviously believes in exuding this in her manner of writing. Maybe this is just how "uber-Dommes" are. Or more accurately, maybe this is just one woman's depiction of what femdom means to her. If that's the case, then take from "Female Dominance" what works for you and disregard the rest.