Handjob Handbook by Simon Spotlight Entertainment - review by Phoenix713

Marsha Normandy and Joseph St. James seem to be some pretty interesting people. I've never read their work before, but I think they did a great job putting this "work of non-friction" together. Most of the book came from the author's practical experience, and they brought both of their unique personalities to the table for the writing of it. They want to fuel your passion in this book and make you a pro at handjobs. This book seems to be all about confidence.

The content really involved a lot of confidence building and practical skill building. The writing style seems to be always narrator style, and sometimes first person, sometimes second. I can't quite put my finger on one particular writing style. The book seems to be mostly geared towards females who want to make themselves the best at giving the ultimate handjob to a lover; Those who want to make their lover remember and never forget this life changing experience.

One problem with the book is there are no real-life pictures of a penis, even though the directions for handjob newbies are clear. Part of the introduction to the book includes a page with a banana and two kiwi fruits, as if the two authors didn't want to disturb the peace with a real penis! The banana and its kiwi's was surrounded by instruction, but the paragraphs labeled under "frenulum, head, shaft, scrotum, testicles, taint, ridge, butt hole, and pee hole" didn't have arrows pointing at where they were supposed to be located on the penis. How was I supposed to know what the authors were talking about? This was entirely TOO confusing.

The styles of handjobs are very different and appealing, and very new to me. They also seem practical. Included titles of the handjobs are: The Basic, The Flatterer, The Jiffy Pop, Ants Climbing Up a Hill, Headless Horseman, The James Bond, Squeeze Play, E-Z Pass, The OK Handjob, The Girl Scout, The PlayStation, The Twist Off, Climbing The Rope, The Upstroke, Tainted Love, Taint Misbehavin', The TKO, The Frozen Rope, The Handoff, Kneading Dough (or what I call "Making Biscuits," haha), Candy Cane, Merry Christmas, The Metronome, Taffy Pull, and The Italian Job.

These are some quite entertaining names in my opinion. A few, like The Girl Scout, made me and my wife laugh. I also liked Merry Christmas.

Also, there are no page numbers, but there are portion titles. Dry Rub: A Cautionary Tale, tells one that the three types of lube are oil based, silicone based, and water based. Oil based, according to the book, is difficult to wash off one's body and one's sheets, and makes condoms ineffective. Oil based, the book says, is the least desirable type of lube. Water based, it says, is the best and the "Old Faithful of lubricants." The book also states the if one wants to give a handjob in the shower, Silicone based lubes will be the most effective because they won't wash off or evaporate, like water based lubes.

FAQs are named in the book on the next page. Questions like, "If my guy can't come from a blow job, why would a handjob be any different?" and "What do I do if my hand gets tired?" are asked here, but the FAQ's included questions are not many in number. However, there are a few important ones. (By the way, if your hand gets tired, you can mix it up a bit. You can switch hands, try different techniques, and add your mouth to the mix. Maybe it's time for a deep kiss. It's up to you and your partner in the end.)

The "Handos and Handon'ts" is a great and purposeful section of this instructional book. The Handos without their descriptions are:

1. Respect the entire penis.
2. Give it some rhythym.
3. Listen to your man.
4. Clean up.

And the Handon'ts without their descriptions are:

1. Wear jewelry.
2. Strangle his penis.
3. Make your grip too weak.
4. Squeeze the family jewels.
5. Get distracted from the task at hand.

And don't forget, there are 25 signature handjobs in this book to use at your convenience. They are all motivational, fun, and should all be blissful for your lover/partner. I'm sure one could even practice on a dildo first to build confidence for these recommended types of handjobs. The book is very instructional and full of little hints and tips.

The book is put together fabulously well, and all of the pages are made like baby book pages, thick and hard to tear. The binding is thick and much like a baby book as well, and both hard covers seem to be shiny and smooth like one. I am quite sure that this book might just never get worn out. Maybe in ten years with rough wear I'll be hoping that another copy somewhere still exists, if I were to get another.

The design of the book is quite nice in that the cover picture is quite attractive. The binding of the book is a thick binding, much like that of a baby's book as I've repeated several times, and every page in the book is a dark hot pink. The same color of pink is in fact, everywhere, on every page, and also on the back cover of the book. It does bore me a bit after a while. I was hoping for some color pictures, really, and after a while it's too much pink for me.

I do like the book's layout and design, but I would prefer just text form instead of the pictures. The pictures that it has don't seem to help at all. They're just there. They do seem to distract me from the instructional value, though, because they're just random pictures in drawing form. There's not much to them.