First time being flogged and a question

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First time being flogged and a question

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Contributor: MGDavicnigirl MGDavicnigirl
My husband and I attended a swinger party this weekend and a few Doms were in attendance. I was watching a scene take place (with permission) and it got me very excited. I have been curious about exploring my sub side, but haven't had the opportunity to try anything until then.

He asked if I would like to try flogging, and I said yes. He explained what was going to happen, set up a safe word, etc.

I wore a dress the entire time. The next morning I woke up with a very bruised ass. I'm talking deep purple/black/blue all over the area where the Dom was striking. I spoke with the Dom via email and he assured me that this is normal. He said I have a high pain tolerance, and I bruise easily.

I have two questions for the discussion.

The first is - is this really normal? I am pretty shocked by the amount/color of the bruising. I guess I expected welts and some bruising, but not to this extent. I don't know him well at all, which is probably my first mistake.

The second is, the Dom mentioned that if I wanted to try again sometime, he would use a different flogger with a different type of material. What would you suggest for someone like me?

Thanks EF Friends!
07/24/2012
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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07/24/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
I always end up with a lot of bruising, and usually it isn't just spots, it's an entire patch because I'm anemic so I bruise incredibly easily and heavily, so that sounds normal to me. I sometimes get welts, depending on what is being used on me.

Personally for me, softer more padded leather or faux-leather flogs seem to leave the least amount of bruising, though because I'm anemic I bruise either way.
07/24/2012
Contributor: Peggi Peggi
Also, something lined like ]this] might help. I've never used one, but I'd like to.
07/24/2012
Contributor: MGDavicnigirl MGDavicnigirl
Peggi, that's a good suggestion.

He said the flogger he used was "heavy" but it felt like a mix of soft leather and faux fur when he told me to touch it. I didn't expect it to feel quite the way it did!
07/24/2012
Contributor: Pixel Pixel
Epic bruising from flogging can totally happen. I prefer 'thuddy' floggers (Buffalo and elk are my two favourite leather types to be hit with!). Lamb is a really light weight leather that you might want to try. Suede is also not too rough.

Congrats on your first time being flogged, and welcome to the world of kink.
07/25/2012
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I bruise easily, so for me this is very normal. My ass is almost always different shades of purple. lol Sometimes just a few small spots and sometimes pretty severe depending on what was used/how long/how hard/etc. So if you have a high pain tolerance AND bruise easy (also my combo), then yeah, you should expect that to happen.

I have a flogger made of some type of silk rope stuff and I don't seem to bruise from that. Or at least not to the extent I do with other things. It also doesn't feel as good, but then I'm a pain slut. Plus I get off on the bruises a bit. I'm strange, I guess. *shrug*
07/25/2012
Contributor: MissMori MissMori
I bruise pretty well, and I like it, so I guess my main suggestion is to decide if you like having marks afterwards or not and go from there.
If you don't like having them (or at least not to the extent you do now) there are some great suggestions above, and it sounds like this Dom will work with you if you want to try another round with him. An ice pack after playing and arnica can help, too.
If you like them, enjoy!
07/25/2012
Contributor: LusciousLollypop LusciousLollypop
It is totally normal. I bruise very easily, myself. It is common. I am proud of you for pursuing your first flogging! Even though it was your first, I wish the Dom in question wouldn't have gone so hard on you. I hope you enjoyed it though. There are definitely different types of floggers. As you may know, some are heavy, some are light. The lighter ones are pretty "stingy" and the heavier ones in my experience are my thuddy and leave welts/bruises like you are describing. I constantly have different colors on my ass, it goes away. You may be sore for a few days depending on how fast you heal. I heal at a pretty slow rate.. so I hope you heal faster.

I know that a nice lotion rub on my ass after I've been flogged feels nice, even with some nice ice. It melts almost instantly though.

Talk to your Dom carefully and explain to him about the things that you don't understand. Communication is key!

07/25/2012
Contributor: MGDavicnigirl MGDavicnigirl
Thanks everyone! I'm 10 days from the flogging and some bruising is still there. The bruising shocked me (and not too sure how I feel about that), and made my boyfriend feel uncomfortable. He was there with me and the Dom, he liked watching, its actually seeing the bruising afterwards that makes him feel bad/uncomfortable.

I know I don't like a stingy sensation, and like more of a thud feeling.
07/30/2012
Contributor: MissMori MissMori
Mine usually lasts that long, too.
From what you say here, I think the most important thing is that you're not sure how you feel about it, and that your boyfriend feels bad/uncomfortable.
I have noticed my bruising depends a LOT on the implement, so if you want to continue with impact maybe try other things.
Just my two cents!

Oh, and floggers tend to bruise me quite a bit, but belts and canes even more so. Paddles seem to bruise the least, and there are the fur-covered ones mentioned earlier in the thread.

Good luck, and enjoy your explorations!
07/30/2012
Contributor: geekkink geekkink
You wont believe me when I tell you this, but rubbing tooth paste on your ass will help. The minty kind.
07/31/2012
Contributor: Sir Sir
A few questions for you:

How long were you being flogged?
Where exactly are the bruises? (Picture evidence would help.)
Do they hurt when you touch them?

To help the bruising go down, alternate between hot and cold presses. Also, bruise cream or aloe gel on the bruised area will help.

To answer the original question, bruising is incredibly regular. Many love bruising. If you want to avoid it for next time, make sure to negotiate your scenes better and tell your Top, first of all, to flog you with your clothing off (or at least your area being flogged uncovered) so that they can see what sorts of marks and bruises you're receiving. Also important is to speak to them during the scene, especially while you're still getting used to it - tell them when something feels like too much or too deep of a penetrating thud.

Hope that this helps you.
07/31/2012