Male Hetero Anal Play

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Male Hetero Anal Play

PussyPurr PussyPurr
Hello wonderful EF'ers!

I would love to get some ideas and feedback for a workshop proposal I am planning for a friend/mentor of mine who is the only clinical sexologist in my area.

She has had several workshops, including Gay Sex in the City (for gay men), a workshop on acquired femininity for M to F transwomen/drag queens/cross-dressers, sex in the later years, and body image. I am proposing a workshop on anal play for hetero couples. Of course, the biggest issue will be to dispel the deeply ingrained cultural myth that liking anal play makes you secretly gay or bi, so of course this will be an integral part of the introduction.

I would love to hear some feedback and suggestions, especially from hetero men who enjoy anal play including pegging. What would you include in such a workshop? What do you wish you would have known before you started? What important knowledge would you like to impart to people who may be interested?

THANKS in advance for any feedback you can give me. Although I myself am intensely interested in the subject, I have no "hands-on" experience myself.
09/12/2011
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Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyPurr
Hello wonderful EF'ers!

I would love to get some ideas and feedback for a workshop proposal I am planning for a friend/mentor of mine who is the only clinical sexologist in my area.

She has had several workshops, including Gay Sex ...
Wow, you have got a lot of people on here who could help you and your friend out! She is lucky to have you as a source!

I hope a lot of people pipe in, I unfortunately have no help to offer. My guy is not open to anal at all, I will just have to be patient until he comes around...and he will

Good luck to you and your friend
09/12/2011
oldkinky oldkinky
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyPurr
Hello wonderful EF'ers!

I would love to get some ideas and feedback for a workshop proposal I am planning for a friend/mentor of mine who is the only clinical sexologist in my area.

She has had several workshops, including Gay Sex ...
My wife does me about once a week. We both love it. Nothing gay about anal play between a man and a woman. I love being fucked with a strap on dildo, but the last thing I wnat is a real dick in my ass.

Send me a message for more info.
09/13/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by oldkinky
My wife does me about once a week. We both love it. Nothing gay about anal play between a man and a woman. I love being fucked with a strap on dildo, but the last thing I wnat is a real dick in my ass.

Send me a message for more info.
I definitely agree. Pegging does not equal gay.

I'd talk about different harnesses/dildos and comfort.
09/13/2011
Research Research
I love anal play and I am straight as an arrow. I have some reviews on anal toys on Eden and I love the subject. I would love to contribute to a workshop on this subject.
09/13/2011
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I definitely agree. Pegging does not equal gay.

I'd talk about different harnesses/dildos and comfort.
I'd wait a while before bringing up pegging at all, and avoid calling the dildo "cock" "dick" or the like. Choose non-realistic dildos for any props.

For stuff to bring up in the introduction: Talk about G-spot stimulation and what it does to a woman's orgasm. Have some of the participants discuss their experience with G-spot play (don't disclose it then, but when the time is right point out that the G-spot is the female prostate, and if it works good for the girls then...)

Second, talk about blowjobs. All guys like them, no one thinks that enjoying a blowjob makes you gay. Point out that "all guys like them" also means that both straight and gay guys like them, and thus sexual activities do not have any bearing on sexual orientation.

Third (and sadly this is the hardest myth to deal with), address the "unsaid myth", the one that the "gay myth" covers up - penetration = emasculation. I'm not positive about how to do this, but give it your best shot because you need to.

Address the "dirty butt" problem and talk about it (not usually dirty, you can check first, if you want you can use a water enema but you don't have to). Most guys don't want to get their girls dirty.

Then go into mechanics - what feels good, how the different toys work, things to look for (not too big, curves, gentle textures or smooth to start). Discuss lubes and make sure to tell them to test out a couple to see what works best and make sure they don't have any sensitivities. Talk about the best toy to start with - fingers - and finger care (short nails or cotton balls, gloves are great for cleanliness or smoothness, how to play at the butt and how to find the prostate - remember, a boner makes for an easier to find prostate).

If you go into pegging (that might be good for an "advanced anal play" one if you're splitting), make sure you discuss sizing, why middle-long toys are better (5.5"6.75" for starters), and talk about adjusting the toy so it rubs the prostate even if that makes it point down. Discuss positioning.
09/16/2011
Paladin Fantasys Paladin Fantasys
Quote:
Originally posted by PussyPurr
Hello wonderful EF'ers!

I would love to get some ideas and feedback for a workshop proposal I am planning for a friend/mentor of mine who is the only clinical sexologist in my area.

She has had several workshops, including Gay Sex ...
I have never had gay sex, but I know I would like it, so I accept that I am bi. I had multiple female partners before entering an almost 25 year to date, monogamous relationship with my wife.

Given my sexuality, and from your description, I would be fascinated and fearful of such a seminar. With our 25 year hetero marriage, we'd benefit in that aspect, but if the selling point is "dispel the deeply ingrained cultural myth that liking anal play makes you secretly gay or bi"....

My wife and I use toys to preserve our monogamous relationship, she peggs me with as realistic as possible penis dildos and I've learned from many female EF'ers the joys of fellatio practice on dildos. Although I know I would be a swallower and would enjoy a spasming/ejaculating penis inside me, I accept that I'll never have those pleasures, my relationship is too important. (Since she's a squirter, I still get to swallow). Since my wife has accepted my sexuality and helps me simulate, day to day life is much more pleasant and less physically stressful than it was while repressing my sexuality like I did for 40 yrs or so.

Would I be a threat to the success of the seminar by making it harder to sell the hetero males that they aren't bi?

To be clear, my "bi-ness" is subservient to my hetero-ness. I'm not sure I could be as faithful to a gay partner, I really crave monogamous cunnilingus, vaginal penetration and my female lover's orgasm. I don't really have any desires to penetrate anyone anally, so I guess in the gay world I'd be a "bottom".

I'd do it for my wife if she wanted and would reap any benefits it provided to her orgasm, but she hasn't so far and I don't feel anything is missing.
09/17/2011
ScottA ScottA
Since you don't feel that you'd get any benefit then there would be no reason for you to come, but the fact you identify as bi doesn't mean you shouldn't come for that reason. The point is that there is no connection between sexual orientation and anal play - you could just as well say "I shouldn't go to a pizza restaurant" if you like pizza, because there is an equivalent connection between liking pizza and being bi/gay as there is between liking anal stimulation and being bi/gay.

I'd say the bigger hidden fear is the one that "being penetrated= being less of a man," and the gay thing just is a cover for it.
09/17/2011
Pegaholics Pegaholics
It's quite sad that anything done between a man and a woman could be equted with being gay simply because it involves a sex act done by homosexual couples. Every sex act other than vaginal penetration by a penis is possible by a homosexual couple. So, being anally penetrated by a woman is no more gay than getting blow job. But ultimately, who cares what definition is given to your sexual acts. If someone wants to call it gay when my wife uses a dildo on my ass, well, they can call it what they want. I call it heaven.
09/19/2011
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 8