Do you have any tips and tricks for beginners?

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Do you have any tips and tricks for beginners?

Billybob jr. Billybob jr.
Billybob jr.
Related to: 
My girlfriend is coirious about anal what is the best way to start off?
11/19/2012
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Loriandhubby Loriandhubby
very slow, it is best to use a warm up toy like the small silk or a small butt plug. use lots of lube. good luck
11/19/2012
destruction13 destruction13
Quote:
Originally posted by Billybob jr.
My girlfriend is coirious about anal what is the best way to start off?
my first time i did it on my knees it made it easier to relax . started off slow to get the feel of it and the harder i got it the better it felt and less it hurt.
11/21/2012
destruction13 destruction13
Quote:
Originally posted by destruction13
my first time i did it on my knees it made it easier to relax . started off slow to get the feel of it and the harder i got it the better it felt and less it hurt.
oh yeah and lots of lube!!!
11/21/2012
ScottA ScottA
External stimulation. Use lube and both commit to keeping it outside. Starting with external stim allows the person being stimulated to focus on the feelings without worrying about "what's going to happen next." Combine it with genital stimulation for an even better time.

Once you've done this for a while and anal play is pleasurable you can move on to penetration play with a finger or small toy. If you want to move on to "full" penis-anal sex or full size dildo play then go very slowly until the bottom is ready to take it. It may take over a month - don't rush.
11/22/2012
Luca77 Luca77
Definitely start slow. Start with fingering with plenty of lube. Find a small toy to warm-up with/to if it suits your fancy. Communication is key!
11/23/2012
geliebt geliebt
Slow, and lots of lube first thing!

I like to use fingers to get ready for anal sex or a larger toy- just playing gently and adding another finger as it feels comfortable. Be very careful of ANY discomfort and be sure to be PATIENT and enjoy the process!
11/25/2012
Genderfree Genderfree
Quote:
Originally posted by geliebt
Slow, and lots of lube first thing!

I like to use fingers to get ready for anal sex or a larger toy- just playing gently and adding another finger as it feels comfortable. Be very careful of ANY discomfort and be sure to be PATIENT and enjoy ...
For me what has really helped is during the day practicing with those muscles. A lot of people, especially Americans, do not have a lot of control over those muscles and has caused many health issues. Basically what I am saying is do kegels. Tense and relax. Doing that has helped me a lot. That way, when you get down to anal, you will be able to feel when is too soon.
11/26/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Billybob jr.
My girlfriend is coirious about anal what is the best way to start off?
Slow, slow, slow. Let her make the call on advance or stop. Forget the porn banging action (at least for a few years), and be gentle as can be. Fingers are a great start..and should be able to go in, pain free, long before a penis is even tried.

Once you go for penis insertion, realize you don't have to get in all the way on the first or second or even third time. The fact she is wanting to try is a huge gift. Use lots of lube...then use more. When you have used more, then start adding lots more. Oh...and some extra lube on top of that is a great idea.

Try different positions. If something does not feel comfortable, to her, stop. Try a different approach. Lots of folks here seem to swear by doggy style anal as their favorite. I have been an anal fanatic for decades and never, ever enjoyed doggy style anal. Maybe my build or shape..who knows. For me, missionary style or on my side is awesome fun.

Everyone is different and so go with what feels good to her.

Enjoy.
12/01/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Genderfree
For me what has really helped is during the day practicing with those muscles. A lot of people, especially Americans, do not have a lot of control over those muscles and has caused many health issues. Basically what I am saying is do kegels. Tense ...
This is an interesting statement. "A lot of Americans don't have control over those muscles"? Is it different in other nations, some how? Is there some country, I don't know about, that starts Kegels in gym class for forth graders? What does nationality have to do with this? Just honestly curious.
12/01/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by geliebt
Slow, and lots of lube first thing!

I like to use fingers to get ready for anal sex or a larger toy- just playing gently and adding another finger as it feels comfortable. Be very careful of ANY discomfort and be sure to be PATIENT and enjoy ...
Well said. Indeed..we fully agree.
12/01/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Luca77
Definitely start slow. Start with fingering with plenty of lube. Find a small toy to warm-up with/to if it suits your fancy. Communication is key!
We think it goes beyond "communication&qu ot;. It needs to be "control". That meaning that whoever is the "receiver" of anal penetration, needs to be completely "calling the shots"...each and every time. No discussion about that "command and control" organizational hierarchy. in our book. It is the only way to "play safe, play fair and play fun" with anal.

If the receiver says "slow", that means slow. If they stay "stop" it means stop, and if they say "out" it does not mean..."but oh baby, I am about to cum" or any such argument. It means out...now.

Not to be harsh, but understanding that rule of control has made for a far more trusting and indeed active anal sex life for us both, and in prior relationships, it turned this gal into an anal sex lover.
12/01/2012
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by destruction13
my first time i did it on my knees it made it easier to relax . started off slow to get the feel of it and the harder i got it the better it felt and less it hurt.
Funny you say that. That was the first position I tried it in too. It hurt. We stopped. I got on my side. We "spooned", and it worked...great. Thirty years later, and I still cannot do it doggy style. Hurts every time. I guess we are all very different.
12/01/2012
libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by Billybob jr.
My girlfriend is coirious about anal what is the best way to start off?
slow, with lots of lube
12/01/2012
Chou Wang Chou Wang
I'd suggest to try out with lubed fingers and very small toys for the start. There are plenty of beginners kits on this site which have good feedback from the community. However I'm a bit pickier on the materials and would advise to start with smaller dildos and plugs. For example:

The Love Pacifier beginner is a good one. The best thing is to let it in while having vaginal sex. That way the pleasure is maximized and the muscles relax. So she wouldn't feel discomfort during penetration. Take it really slow and let her have control.

The other one that is good for "penetration training" is the Small silk dildo.
12/05/2012
lainebug lainebug
Relax take your time and enjoy.
12/06/2012
Inquisitor Inquisitor
You've probably figured it out by now,but in the off chance you haven't, first - know that the person receiving should be calling the shots. Second, use lots of lube. Third,start small (I mean like a finger small) and progress in size and intensity slowly. Fourth, find a position that works for the recipient. If the recipient want to do it outside in the rain on a Thursday while bending over, then that is exactly the way it will be going down. Their comfort is paramount or number 1 or very important. To treat it any other way is disrespectful.
04/26/2015
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
You've probably figured it out by now,but in the off chance you haven't, first - know that the person receiving should be calling the shots. Second, use lots of lube. Third,start small (I mean like a finger small) and progress in size and ...
I couldn't have put it better myself.
04/26/2015
Vnessa Vnessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
You've probably figured it out by now,but in the off chance you haven't, first - know that the person receiving should be calling the shots. Second, use lots of lube. Third,start small (I mean like a finger small) and progress in size and ...
So wonderfully worded.

If i might give a small tip when it does come to the big day, it may help for her to push 'out' a little as you are easing in. This will open her up and make it a lot more comfortable for you to make it past her tight rings . Her experience will be smoother.
04/26/2015
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by Vnessa
So wonderfully worded.

If i might give a small tip when it does come to the big day, it may help for her to push 'out' a little as you are easing in. This will open her up and make it a lot more comfortable for you to make it past ...
Spoken like a "Pro" !
04/26/2015
MilitaryLove MilitaryLove
Thank you for all the advise! Any suggestion on beginner toys?
Jan 27, 10:22 pm
OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by MilitaryLove
Thank you for all the advise! Any suggestion on beginner toys?
Glass: Amethyst : link
silicone : naughty mood plug :link

or beads, vibe and plug all in one :link

if u any questions u can always pm the reviewers.
Jan 28, 7:46 pm
symbiasin symbiasin
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
External stimulation. Use lube and both commit to keeping it outside. Starting with external stim allows the person being stimulated to focus on the feelings without worrying about "what's going to happen next." Combine it with genital ...
This is so entirely different than my first (and only) time. Only because he was extremely insensitive.

How I wished for someone to start off slow with lots of lube. I got very much the opposite.
Jan 29, 8:28 am
Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
This is so entirely different than my first (and only) time. Only because he was extremely insensitive.

How I wished for someone to start off slow with lots of lube. I got very much the opposite.
Awe Symbiasin, I feel so bad for you. That is not the way to do it. Did that turn you completely off to anal?
Jan 29, 3:52 pm
MrClark MrClark
My girlfriend had no sexual experience when we first met... but was open to trying anal. With her both due to her size (she's 5') and inexperience I worked her slowly up to actual anal sex over about a month.

Started with a finger massaging the anus during sex a few times to start, then had a very non-intimidating anal exploration toys that came in three progressing sizes and had a very minimal circumference. These looped onto my finger that allowed us to use both during sex and on their own. I would always start back with the smallest toy and only work up to the next larger size we hadn't used after ample use of the previous size. All the while playing with her clit, massaging her breasts, or fingering her vagina if we weren't having sex while using the toy.

This small starter toy set of plugs was a good starting point, we also continued building up to use a larger set of trainer plugs (Small plug: 4.5” x 1.1”, Medium plug: 5” x 1.25”, Large plug: 6” x 1.5”). We've never used the large plug from this second set.

I also got a flexi felix set of anal beads for further anal play/warm up. I'd also sometimes warm her up with a butt massage that then got heavier towards massaging her anus leading up to using any toys/fingers for penetration too.

Using these toys, which allowed us to slowly progress in size both in width/insertion slowly over a month period lead to anal sex just being another progression and not a sudden intrusion. But like many others have said, lots of lube is important too. We use copious lube with the toys and my fingers as we warmed her up for penetration, and I also use a lube launcher to inject copious lube internally before I try to penetrate in addition to more on my penis too.

Hope that helps, but take it slow, use adequate lube, and make sure your partner feels safe and able to give feedback if going to fast or it's too much to fast.
Apr 23, 4:39 pm
Andykh Andykh
Slow. Maybe a small plug and lots of lube. For a guy id also say relax and have her do whatever gets u up at attention. That kinda helps with the relaxing along with breathing and makes it easier for a toy to go inside
Apr 23, 4:52 pm
Total posts: 26
Unique posters: 18