Has first time sex ever been so good that you were scared of pursuing the relationship?

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Has first time sex ever been so good that you were scared of pursuing the relationship?

fronz fronz
Have you had sex that made you afraid you would be under that persons control. Or that the other person was way more advanced than you sexually. That they seemed to know too much.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
No-The better it is the more I want
23  (88%)
Yes-It was too intense. I didnt want my mind blown
1  (4%)
Other-explain
2  (8%)
Total votes: 26
Poll is closed
10/09/2012
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Quote:
Originally posted by fronz
Have you had sex that made you afraid you would be under that persons control. Or that the other person was way more advanced than you sexually. That they seemed to know too much.
ALL my lovers were more advanced then me...and thankfully GREAT lovers. Likewise with my hubbies prior girlfriends. All were a bit older and WAY more experienced. Turned him into an AMAZING lover...all just for me.

When we came into OUR relationship, we had both learned enough to really be a GREAT team in bed!!!!!!
10/09/2012
Taylor Taylor
No, that logic doesn't really make sense to me. I'm probably more likely to persue the relationship if the sex was good. Although I usually don't have sex until the relationship is pretty well established.
10/09/2012
edeneve edeneve
bring all the good sex!!!
10/09/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
No....why would it?
10/09/2012
fronz fronz
Quote:
Originally posted by Zombirella
No....why would it?
I have heard of scenarios in which the girl is more skilled sexually than the guy. And the guy is intimidated. Like she must have been with a lot of lover's to be so good.

Also in which the girl has control issues and doesnt feel she can be in control of a lover that can gives mind blowing sex.
10/09/2012
thebest thebest
no lol
10/09/2012
js250 js250
My connection and the sexual fireworks and chemistry was sooo strong with my husband when we first got together it scared the hell out of me!!! I was not used to having such a strong sexual bond or being able to act on it whenever the mood struck. I am also a very reserved person emotionally and the bond between us was very terrifying--I could lose myself in the relationship, and did for awhile....
10/10/2012
April Lewis April Lewis
10/10/2012
fronz fronz
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
My connection and the sexual fireworks and chemistry was sooo strong with my husband when we first got together it scared the hell out of me!!! I was not used to having such a strong sexual bond or being able to act on it whenever the mood struck. I ...
Great response. I know that it can happen like that. I had the same experiance. Two years of any outrageous connection that got to be out of control. But being out of control can be very fun.
01/04/2013
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by fronz
Have you had sex that made you afraid you would be under that persons control. Or that the other person was way more advanced than you sexually. That they seemed to know too much.
The first time I had sex with Sigel it was so very non romantic and was sort of a relief to get it over with...I knew enough to know it would get better with time and I was all for that.
The first time with Arch was amazing for me but so very overwhelming for him. We were both exhausted and it was great but I found myself letting him know it would get better with time, and it did.
01/04/2013
Supervixen Supervixen
No--I'd thank my lucky stars and praise God for smiling upon me and then do a little happy dance. Having great sexual chemistry is a must for me, and if it's like that off the bat and a relationship results? Hallelujah! The scenario of a guy being with a skilled woman just sounds like insecurity to me...that he's afraid he could never please her like her past lovers, or he's uncomfortable with the fact that she's been "claimed" before. I say stop whining, grow a pair, and learn a thing or two from your awesome lover.

As far as control issues go...again, stop whining, and enjoy the awesome sex. So...don't control your SO? Let them be their own person, and deal with the fact that you have to learn that being a skilled lover doesn't automatically mean that you are incapable of being faithful. Learn to trust someone based on their integrity as a person, not for how good they are in bed. There's a lot more to a person than their genitals.

Either way you cut it though...it sounds like insecurity would cause such a dilemma for someone. Insecurity is really not sexy, and you won't be the best lover until you learn to control that aspect of yourself and just...have fun and enjoy!
01/05/2013
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
For most people this is not going to be an issue. But I can see for some like js250 there can be serious negative consequences. Luckily it's never been an issue for me.
01/05/2013
fronz fronz
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
No--I'd thank my lucky stars and praise God for smiling upon me and then do a little happy dance. Having great sexual chemistry is a must for me, and if it's like that off the bat and a relationship results? Hallelujah! The scenario of a guy ...
Agreed insecurity and controlling tendencies are not sexy. However there is a right way to do everything. Displaying ones full sexual repertoire right off the bat can be problematic in some cases. There is a difference between being an awesome lover and being a freak in the bed. The freak in us should be revealed over time. Together they are an awesome combination.
01/05/2013
Supervixen Supervixen
Quote:
Originally posted by fronz
Agreed insecurity and controlling tendencies are not sexy. However there is a right way to do everything. Displaying ones full sexual repertoire right off the bat can be problematic in some cases. There is a difference between being an awesome lover ...
Certainly, but I was under the impression that we were just talking about being good in bed, not having a massive repertoire of sexual moves that constitutes a person being a "freak" in bed. I mean, if I were with a guy the first time and he wanted to spank me, tie me up and make me beg, I'd laugh in his face, because all those acts require a certain level of trust and intimacy for me to be established before we go down the sexually freaky road. But that's a different issue. Most good lovers who blow your mind without those more advanced kinks are people who are attentive, who care about how the other person responds to what they are doing, who is genuinely interested in satisfying and being satisfied. And of course, just good old fashioned chemistry. Some people click better than others. For me, being relaxed and feeling safe and respected by my partner also plays a huge role in how mind blowing a sexual experience is. But yeah, people should wait before they pull out all the stops and reveal their entire sexual repertoire at once, but as they reveal it over time, I think it's ridiculous to feel insecure over their experiences. We all got to where we our in our level of sexual prowess because of our own personal experiences and personality types. It just seems silly to me to run away from someone because of it. But if someone can't handle the intensity of good sex, well...okay, I guess. But you may regret it down the line when you end up with someone who doesn't know how to blow your mind, and you eventually find that you are ready to have your mind blown.
01/05/2013
fronz fronz
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
Certainly, but I was under the impression that we were just talking about being good in bed, not having a massive repertoire of sexual moves that constitutes a person being a "freak" in bed. I mean, if I were with a guy the first time and ...
Agreed Supervixen I may have tilted the question slightly. It is silly to ruin an otherwise fantastic relationship over experiance levels. However, mind blowing sex is going to create a chemical bond. Sex can be used as a weapon. Every relationship stands on its own merit. Its not silly to feel that you don't want to be bonded to a person that you don't completely know.

Also, as Freud would state it all our insecurities and nuerosis are connected to sex.
01/05/2013
Supervixen Supervixen
Quote:
Originally posted by fronz
Agreed Supervixen I may have tilted the question slightly. It is silly to ruin an otherwise fantastic relationship over experiance levels. However, mind blowing sex is going to create a chemical bond. Sex can be used as a weapon. Every ...
I'm sorry, I'm not following that logic. Because we form bonds through sexual intimacy, we should assume that because someone doesn't showcase their entire sexual repertoire on the first go around, but is clearly experienced, that it's potentially a bad thing, and we don't "completely know them" right off the bat. Of course you don't--you never know anyone completely off the bat, if ever. And why the emphasis on sex? You form bonds with people you don't completely know all the time, and all aspects of a relationship take time to be revealed, not just the sexual parts. Just because someone is more sexually experienced and has more to reveal over time in that sense, it doesn't mean that you know the less sexually experienced partner any more than the experienced one...you only know what people choose to let you in on, whether that's about sex or not.

I'm sorry, the whole premise sounds like insecurity over sexual prowess and fear over another person's experiences reflecting poorly upon the less experienced person. And it's neurotic, in my opinion. You form bonds in all kinds of ways with other people, and singling out good sex as a reason to halt a relationship is just...kind of silly, in my honest opinion. There are about a billion and a half reasons to not pursue relationships with certain people...this seems like a silly thing to add to the list. But hey, that's just my perspective. What seems silly to me might seem really important to another person. Whatever works for you, I suppose.
01/06/2013
Hummingbird Hummingbird
Nope, never happened to me and having been under control growing up that is one thing I would not tolerate with in an intimate relationship. I don't like to be controlled and I don't like to be controlling. An equal giving relationship on both sides that's for me. As far as the additional experience he or she brings to the bedroom, I would welcome it as I hope he or she would welcome my experience should it be greater.
01/06/2013
fronz fronz
Quote:
Originally posted by Supervixen
I'm sorry, I'm not following that logic. Because we form bonds through sexual intimacy, we should assume that because someone doesn't showcase their entire sexual repertoire on the first go around, but is clearly experienced, that ...
This thread has gone in a couple directions and I love the response. Your point is well taken.

Just to give it some context this question was born out of a barroom convo with the fellas as to if if first time sex could ever be too good. "No are you kidding was the majority response". However in one instance lust misinterpretted as love ( involving a relationship with a co-worker) led to a series of hurtful consequences based on how good th
e sex was right out the box. Obviously, what this person failed to acknowledge was that it was the breaking of the co-worker rule that got him in trouble.


On a slightly different angle I have had convos with women that have given mind blowing first time sex and are miffed at why the relationship ended abruptly there after. She listed rimming and deepthroating ect as things she did to blow his mind. I'm like well you cant do all that right off the bat. You have to ease into these things.

But the core question possibly boils down too are there occassions in which you are just not ready or on the same level as your partner and is it reasonable to pass on those rare mind blowing bonds. Maybe and maybe not. It just depends.

I love your thoughtful response Supervixen it has been very enlightening.
01/06/2013
Trysexual Trysexual
Nope
01/06/2013
shorejen9 shorejen9
No not at all
01/06/2013
Total posts: 21
Unique posters: 14