Ladies. Without offending you...

Bubba29 Bubba29
What could an attractive, unfamiliar man say to you or give a non verbal gesture to you that would make you feel sexy and attractive but not get creeped out. Basically doing or saying something to you to let you know you are pretty hot without expectations of anything else. Like a really forward/ blunt compliment without any hopes of hooking up. Hard to describe but I think you get the point.
04/09/2013
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KinkyKatieJames KinkyKatieJames
The ones that always make me feel the best are being told I'm gorgeous or beautiful, or commenting on my eyes. One I will never forget is "Your eyes are such an amazing mixture of brown and green. I have never seen anything as beautiful. They shine like the stars." I don't think I've ever blushed so hard in my life. Or to keep it short, in college when I came out dressed for a night out, a guy friend of mine just said "Wow" and his jaw dropped. Made me feel very confident.
04/09/2013
libbyv libbyv
Quote:
Originally posted by KinkyKatieJames
The ones that always make me feel the best are being told I'm gorgeous or beautiful, or commenting on my eyes. One I will never forget is "Your eyes are such an amazing mixture of brown and green. I have never seen anything as beautiful. ... More
agree with kinky katie
04/11/2013
Jenny Swallows Jenny Swallows
I was struggling to light a cigarette one night (back in the days when you could smoke in clubs) and a complete stranger stopped and said "here, let me." He held out his lighter, flicked a flame... and then walked out of the building.

No pun intended, but that was so hot!
04/11/2013
marriedlady123 marriedlady123
I know that this is probably not helpful, but it really depends on the type of person that is approaching me, and the mood that I am in.
04/14/2013
indiglo indiglo
This is actually a great question, and I've been pondering it for a few days now. I've had both positive and negative experiences in this regard, and I've decided that it does have much to do with the mood I am in (as marriedlady mentioned). It also has to do with how I'm approached though, and I think I've put my finger on something.

I had 2 very similar experiences - 1 was not creepy and 1 did make me feel uncomfortable, and I've finally decided what I think the differences are. Both were in grocery stores.

The first one was in the grocery store parking lot. A man in his 40's dressed in business attire was loading his groceries into his car. I walked past him towards my car, and he called out after me "Miss?" So I turned around. He stopped loading his trunk for about a second and said "You are a very beautiful woman." Then he smiled at me, and looked down at his groceries again and kept loading them. It was clearly just a brief comment he wanted to make, and he clearly had no intention of doing anything other than giving me a compliment. I said "Thank you very much" and smiled back. I still remember that sometimes with a smile. VERY positive.

The second one was inside the actual grocery store. I was standing in the checkout line waiting. A young man followed me from the produce area to the line where I was waiting, and came up behind me and asked "Do you mind if I pay you a compliment?" And I said "Um, ok?" (Already felt awkward.) So he said something like "You are very pretty." Then he just stood there looking at me and smiling. There were plenty of people around, and I couldn't escape because I was in line. So I just said "Oh. Thank you" very awkwardly, and then tried to turn back around. But he just kept standing there. After a couple seconds he left, but then I had to stand there in line like a trapped mouse. LOL Very awkward.

To me the difference is the setting - the first guy didn't say it to me in front of a crowd of spectators, while the second guy did. And the intent - the first guy was just taking a couple moments out of his day to pay a strange lady a compliment, while the second guy seemed to be expecting some sort of reaction from me (though I'm not sure what kind of reaction).

Those differences might not creep out every woman, but they made a huge difference to me at the time.
04/14/2013
jr2012 jr2012
I think giving a compliment that doesn't have the words "hot" or "beautiful" in it are better. Once a guy said that I have a really pretty smile, and oh boy was I flattered! It was extra nice that he noticed a specific feature, it made me feel special.
04/14/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
I've never received a compliment that made me feel awkward or creeped out! I love them all, probably because I almost never get them! Even when I was younger, men are intimidated by me, or at least that's what other men have told me. They said I have a look but don't touch air about me. Or the other thing I heard is, well you already know you're pretty, you must hear it all the time. Actually, no, I almost never heard it, from men, women, anyone, only my parents a few times when older. The few, (maybe 4), times I heard a compliment, were all from old men! For whatever reason, they are the only ones.

I do agree with jr2012, a specific compliment is more original & sounds more sincere for some reason. Saying someone has beautiful skin, smile, eyes, hair, hands...all better than hearing "hot" I had a man compliment the color of my shirt last year & it sounded sincere & not at all like a come-on. A big smile will stop me in my tracks for a minute, after I look behind me to see who they're looking at!
06/03/2013
Woman China Woman China
I agree with a poster above... it is all in the setting/environment we are in. Anyone who tries to pay me a compliment when I am "trapped" (in a line, in a taxi, in an elevator etc...) makes me feel nervous and planning an escape route.

One of my most memorable compliments was a hilarious man who walked up to me, pulled out a stack of what looked like business cards, flipped through them and handed me his business card with a huge grin, then he walked away. When I looked down at it, it simply said, "Thanks for making my day". I have no idea if it was him paying my looks a compliment or not, but I choose to think so. It is a fun memory to think about.

After a lecture I gave a couple years ago in Shanghai, one of the people who was there came up to me and said, "I thought you were pretty when you started your lecture, but then you just lit up when you started speaking of your successes with your students. Then, you were breathtaking."
06/03/2013
Bubba29 Bubba29
my whole purpose of this thread is to help women with their confidence. they come to expect and take for granted the compliments they get from their man who they know wants to have sex with them. a compliment from a stranger could really boost their confidence. i am hoping to do more of this without it seeming like i am hitting on a woman.
06/03/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
my whole purpose of this thread is to help women with their confidence. they come to expect and take for granted the compliments they get from their man who they know wants to have sex with them. a compliment from a stranger could really boost ... More
Good for you! I compliment people all the time because I figure, if I am thinking it and it's positive, then why wouldn't I share it with them? Sometimes people, especially women, are suspicious of motive, but, for the most part, they are really taken aback & then happy to hear it. And if they don't like a compliment? Then they have issues nobody else is going to "fix"! It's not like you said something negative, right? So, to a degree, I say tough if someone reacts strangely to a compliment. That said...

You know, I think the other responses have an excellent point about about the "trapped" situation. That may well be your big answer as to the problem. Now, if the compliment came right as one of you was leaving the "trapped" situation, then that would be a better way to play that one.

For the most part, a sincere smile is really all you need. It's really hard to take that the "wrong way"! I'd start with that the most & see what a difference that makes. Then I'd up it to complimenting something the woman did, not necessarily her looks. You know, telling the checkout girl she was a breath of fresh air. Then moving on to, that ring is really pretty, you look great with your hair like that, what a beautiful color that is on you...I think it's the timing, saying it as you leave so they are not forced to give you much of a reaction other than "Thank you", as you leave. The sticking around part makes it look like you want more interaction than just giving a compliment & that is something that must be contributing to the creep factor!

I would be interested to know how this goes for you! If you can, would you post later about your progress? It will be interesting to hear about your experiences with this! Just remember, some people cannot take a compliment & don't let that discourage you. Even when a woman acts at the moment like she doesn't get it, or appreciate it, later on, it may really make her day when she processes it all. You never know how much it could mean to someone & sometimes it makes their day!

By the way, the compliment Woman China got about lighting up, that has to be one of the best compliments I have heard in a long time!
06/03/2013
MrWill MrWill
So Ladies, I shouldn't just walk at you humping the air and drooling? lol
06/03/2013
Bubba29 Bubba29
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Good for you! I compliment people all the time because I figure, if I am thinking it and it's positive, then why wouldn't I share it with them? Sometimes people, especially women, are suspicious of motive, but, for the most part, they are ... More
I will keep you posted. Most women are sexier than they think and maybe if they heard it from someone other than their SO, it will help boost their confidence.
06/03/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
I will keep you posted. Most women are sexier than they think and maybe if they heard it from someone other than their SO, it will help boost their confidence.
Great! If you decide you've had it with the discussion, you can always PM me. I know I would LOVE to hear that, even if I didn't believe it, it's nice to hear any compliment!

Oh, MrWill, What you need to do is to write this funny stuff down somewhere! Why not a "guide" to getting women? It would be hilarious if you acted like you were serious! How about posting on your blog & seeing what the reactions are?
06/03/2013
ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
What could an attractive, unfamiliar man say to you or give a non verbal gesture to you that would make you feel sexy and attractive but not get creeped out. Basically doing or saying something to you to let you know you are pretty hot without ... More
I have no idea. Hahaha.
06/04/2013
Intrepid Niddering Intrepid Niddering
The ones I've fancied were usually something simple and specific about me. Being told they like my hair or my shoes. When things get all poetic, it just sounds like a cheesy line and I question their motives.

Most of the compliments that were creepy, though, were because it was some guy as old as my grandpa outright hitting on me when I was working the register at the gas station. Or married guys. With their children with them. And not like little children that don't know what's going on. Their teenagers.
06/04/2013
Bunny183 Bunny183
Comments on my physical appearance do nothing for me personally, positive or not.
06/08/2013
Bunny183 Bunny183
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunny183
Comments on my physical appearance do nothing for me personally, positive or not.
I get complimented on my breasts a lot and am neither flattered nor offended.
06/08/2013
never shy never shy
Any thing other than cheesy lines or talking about my boobs I really love a smile then just starting up a conversation
06/08/2013
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Eh, for me this is really kind of tough since anyone acting too familiar off the bat will probably scare me. Especially this one guy who gave me one of those flowery comments ("Seeing your pretty face makes the day much better"). Apparently lots of girls would enjoy that, but to me it sounds creepy and unnatural coming from a stranger.

But seeing as I'm almost never complimented on my appearance (though I myself think I'm very pretty) and I'm wary of strangers to begin with, my experiences probably don't weigh that much here.
06/09/2013
Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
This is actually a great question, and I've been pondering it for a few days now. I've had both positive and negative experiences in this regard, and I've decided that it does have much to do with the mood I am in (as marriedlady ... More
I love to get compliments. If someone takes the time to notice something positive about you, you should say "Thank you, that was very kind of you to say."

The second man who just stood there waiting for a response actually wanted more than to pay you a compliment. He was apparently shopping for more than groceries that day. He most likely thought coming up to you in line would be less threatening than approaching you while you were alone. The main difference between the two men seemed to be their motives and expectations in giving the compliment.

I think telling a woman she is "attractive" or "beautiful" is less threatening than saying "hot", "sexy", "gorgeous", etc. It also depends on the tone and situation.
06/09/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Eh, for me this is really kind of tough since anyone acting too familiar off the bat will probably scare me. Especially this one guy who gave me one of those flowery comments ("Seeing your pretty face makes the day much better"). Apparently ... More
Why would you think your experiences don't weigh much here? Of course they do! I agree that comment was kinda strange.

I, too, almost never get complimented & yes, I am wary of strangers, heck, I'm suspicious of everyone. But I have learned not to let it show as much & am determined to be polite, smile & say thank you, (and maybe a little more if I feel comfortable).

Now, after reading some of the above comments saying people have complimented them on their breasts, I have to qualify my previous answer! I would be appalled if someone other than the person I am romantically involved with made any comment on my breasts, butt, or anything else that was even remotely sexual. I would always rather hear a compliment about something other than my looks, but I find hearing any compliment that's non-sexual, makes me stop the negative soundtrack that's always playing in my head, at least for a moment or two & makes me think maybe people don't see me the way I see myself.
06/09/2013
Bubba29 Bubba29
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunny183
I get complimented on my breasts a lot and am neither flattered nor offended.
i think it is offensive and creepy to compliment the breasts specifically. i am not wanting to hook up with ladies, just let them know someone other than their lover appreciates their beauty. it's important more women know this to help with their confidence.
06/09/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
i think it is offensive and creepy to compliment the breasts specifically. i am not wanting to hook up with ladies, just let them know someone other than their lover appreciates their beauty. it's important more women know this to help with ... More
Don't worry, no one thought you meant anything like that. Your initial explanation was very clear. I was just shocked someone was "complimented" on that!

I really think the safest thing to do more of is just smiling at the women. It's pretty difficult for them to take that the wrong way! And it seems there is always someone who takes it the wrong way because women tend to be suspicious. I guess you can read body language to determine if it's worth saying something more. I think the hit & run compliment is one that takes women off guard & also saves them from having to process everything quickly in search of a reply. That's probably your best delivery approach, it seems to work on most people, too & I'm the Queen of doing that!
06/09/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by Bubba29
What could an attractive, unfamiliar man say to you or give a non verbal gesture to you that would make you feel sexy and attractive but not get creeped out. Basically doing or saying something to you to let you know you are pretty hot without ... More
First, I want to let you know that when I see a title like that, it makes me prepare to be offended. It's like when someone prefaces an offensive remark with "No offense, but..." You know? And your question is in no way offensive--it's very respectful.

That said, let me attempt to answer your question! To me, the absolute best way not to creep a woman out or make her feel like a piece of meat is to simply smile at her, IF AND WHEN she looks at you with any hint of interest.

Anything else will depend greatly on the situation. If you're, say, an employee in a retail business and she's a customer, you should be polite, friendly, and professional--NOT flirty. If you're in a venue where people generally expect to be spoken to by strangers, such as a nightclub or bar, just be honest and tell her what caught your eye about her. Don't try too hard to make it sound charming or verbose. A simple, "That dress looks great on you," or "You have a really nice smile," will likely work wonders.
06/09/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by KinkyKatieJames
The ones that always make me feel the best are being told I'm gorgeous or beautiful, or commenting on my eyes. One I will never forget is "Your eyes are such an amazing mixture of brown and green. I have never seen anything as beautiful. ... More
See, now if some stranger got all lyrical about my eye color, I'd be completely creeped out.
06/09/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by MrWill
So Ladies, I shouldn't just walk at you humping the air and drooling? lol
What do you mean?? Gosh, I just DREAM about having that happen to me!
06/09/2013
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by FieryRed
See, now if some stranger got all lyrical about my eye color, I'd be completely creeped out.
I never thought she meant a stranger! Oh, well yeah, that would at the least sound like a pre-prepared line., & not sincere.
06/10/2013
FieryRed FieryRed
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I never thought she meant a stranger! Oh, well yeah, that would at the least sound like a pre-prepared line., & not sincere.
I assumed that was what she meant, since the original question said "an attractive, unfamiliar man." Oh, I've been creeped out by so many men! It's even worse for lesbians, you know--so many guys assume that all lesbian couples are just waiting for a man to invite himself in for a threesome! I recently was at a bar with my partner and our female friend, and this older dude sits down, starts chatting away and hitting on me, then, when I point out that my partner is right next to me, says that he could tell SHE was gay, but thought that our friend must be the one she was with--even though our friend was across from her, and I was right next to her!

Anyway, sorry for the mini-hijack. I agree with those who said that compliments from males to females are much less threatening and/or awkward when made in passing (literally and figuratively), and non-sexual in content.
06/10/2013
bettyboom bettyboom
Quote:
Originally posted by Jenny Swallows
I was struggling to light a cigarette one night (back in the days when you could smoke in clubs) and a complete stranger stopped and said "here, let me." He held out his lighter, flicked a flame... and then walked out of the ... More
I love that too!
06/17/2013
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