Lube bloopers...and tips to prevent them.

js250 js250
Do you have a blooper moment caused by lube? (I know I have a couple, not so funny at the time, but seriously hilarious now!) I also learned what not to do in order to prevent this from happening in the future...with other lubes!

Talk to us, share with us and let's see just how un-beneficial lube can be sometimes. It may help others in the future...or at least allow us to laugh together and get some helpful tips on what NOT to do.
Feb 21, 7:05 pm
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edeneve edeneve
I don't have a lube story, but would love to hear yours.
Feb 22, 4:18 pm
Castielskitten Castielskitten
I kinda have one. When I give him a blowjob, I normally use a flavored condom, or a flavored lubricant. Well I forgot one night we ran out of flavored lubricant, and I had seen a bottle of lube out of the corner of my eye.
People. It didn't taste like strawberries...

*quick edit* So always check the labels! X'D
Feb 22, 5:48 pm
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by Castielskitten
I kinda have one. When I give him a blowjob, I normally use a flavored condom, or a flavored lubricant. Well I forgot one night we ran out of flavored lubricant, and I had seen a bottle of lube out of the corner of my eye.
People. It didn't ... More
Oh no! Some have seriously disgusting tastes to them. I hope it wasn't too gross.

Like Edeneve, I don't have an bloopers...yet. But I sure would like to here other's stories! I think this is a good topic! Now come on js250, you must share so we can avoid a similar fate!!!
Feb 22, 8:58 pm
Castielskitten Castielskitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
Oh no! Some have seriously disgusting tastes to them. I hope it wasn't too gross.

Like Edeneve, I don't have an bloopers...yet. But I sure would like to here other's stories! I think this is a good topic! Now come on js250, you ... More
It did have a gross taste to them. I took one taste and went:...blah! bleh bleh..the hell did...Oh my lord. EWWWWW.

Though now it's fun to laugh about. I still don't get how I forgot, heat of the moment perhaps?
Feb 23, 12:20 am
js250 js250
Heat of the moment sure does get you!! I have a couple lube stories...

1. Do NOT try to grab the lube off your nightstand while not wearing your glasses. And you are sick with a cold....it may be the Vicks Vapor formula for the humidefier.....(Burns like a forest fire on a dry log!!!)

2. Silicone lube is not made for oversaturation...and it will NOT condition your hair. Or maybe it does, through 1 large bottle of shampoo--in two days. My long hair was soooo oily!!!!
Feb 24, 3:21 am
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Heat of the moment sure does get you!! I have a couple lube stories...

1. Do NOT try to grab the lube off your nightstand while not wearing your glasses. And you are sick with a cold....it may be the Vicks Vapor formula for the ... More
I almost feel badly for laughing, but those are damn good examples! I winced and can feel the pain for you with that Vick's Vaporub, OMG! When young, I found some BenGay in the storage closet and tried it on some sore thigh muscles. Unfortunately, I had no idea how the stuff worked and used too much when I put some on my groin. So of course it migrated to my vulva after a while since it was hot weather. Then I tried to wash it off which only spread it more. OMG, the pain of it getting into my vulva! So, I can only imagine the horror of grabbing that and sticking a good amount on yourself (this is that liquid for hot steam vaporizers, right? Not their Vaseline-like rub formula?)

Did you use the silicone lube on your hair by mistake, grabbing it instead of something else in the shower? Or did you just use too much as a substitute for those silicone hair anti-frizz products? First try a shampoo containing cocamidopropylbetaine because clarifying shampoo strips hair of all it's oils. But a clarifying shampoo might be what you need to get the silicone out and you can make your own by adding baking soda to your shampoo! I know this is too little, too late, but if anyone gets a buildup of silicone product in their hair, or has a similar mishap as yours, they can try the baking soda in the shampoo trick. You probably would have needed about half the box of baking soda, lol!

BTW, do you know what silicones are good for using in your hair and which are bad? Well, there are water soluble silicones and those are the best for you hair because they don't cause buildup. They are stearoxy dimethicone and behenoxy dimethicone. Then there are the bad ones which are: trimethylsilylamodimet hicone; amodimethicone; cyclopentasiloxane; cyclomethicone. And finally, the worst ones possible because they are the hardest to remove. These are: dimethicone; cetyl dimethicone; cetearyl methicone; dimethiconol; stearyl dimethicone.
Feb 24, 7:28 am
November November
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I almost feel badly for laughing, but those are damn good examples! I winced and can feel the pain for you with that Vick's Vaporub, OMG! When young, I found some BenGay in the storage closet and tried it on some sore thigh muscles. ... More
Wow, WW, that last paragraph, where did you learn all of that stuff about the different silicones?
Feb 24, 10:00 am
SaucyxGirl SaucyxGirl
Once made the mistake of using Silicone lube in the shower. Yeah, both of us about busted our asses as we slipped and fell. That shit is slick as hell when it gets on the shower floor. lol

I have also had a pump bottle malfunction of sorts. Instead of going on my hand it kind of hit me in the chest region as it shot it.
Feb 24, 11:43 am
Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
Quote:
Originally posted by November
Wow, WW, that last paragraph, where did you learn all of that stuff about the different silicones?
Thanks, November! Because of my sensitivities, I have an interest in ingredients and that accounts for why I find this stuff out in the first place, lol! It had to be on some beauty site, magazine or ingredients/chemistry site? I copied the info a long time ago and didn't know I'd be sharing it for others online, so I never bothered to copy the source. I know most people think silicones are not soluble in water, just like they think all alcohols are drying and bad in body care products. That's why I researched silicones, to get the facts. I already knew that alcohols are not all "bad" in products. In fact, some are moisturizing, not drying, such as some of the fatty alcohols derived from fats such as coconut oil, palm oil, etc. The first one discovered was cetyl alcohol and it is hugely used in skin moisturizers as an emollient. ( But most of the fatty alcohols are used in producing detergents and surfactants because of their amphipathic nature.) So I'm a nerd LOL, there used to be quite a few nerds/geeks around here before. I miss Eugler, Bog, Mwar, Chillpepper, bratcat...

CORRECTION: I'd like to correct a typo in my previous response... a space is where there should NOT be one, the silicone is trimethylsilylamodimet hicone (dammit, no matter what I do, this page keeps putting a space in this word!. So, no,, there is not supposed to be a space between the 't' and 'h'!!)
Feb 24, 1:27 pm
js250 js250
Quote:
Originally posted by Wicked Wahine
I almost feel badly for laughing, but those are damn good examples! I winced and can feel the pain for you with that Vick's Vaporub, OMG! When young, I found some BenGay in the storage closet and tried it on some sore thigh muscles. ... More
Definitely the liquid one--for the humidifier that was on the dresser...and laughing at me--I do it now when I think of it!! Don't feel bad, I developed some new moves that night, lol!!!

And....we were not showering... We thought it may be fun to create our own 'oil slick' to play in. Enough said....my hair is super absorbent, and down to my butt-even then. If I over condition, I need to wash 4-5 times to remove the residue...with a stripping shampoo from a salon!!!

We have had other adventures as well, just not as interesting ones.
Feb 25, 9:21 pm
plush plush
My two lube incidents both involved sex with prostitutes while I was in the military in Asia. The first involved a girl who agreed to have anal sex with me. I had purchased un-lubricated condoms and used petroleum jelly for lube. After ejaculating in her rectum I withdrew and the only thing left around my penis was the rubber base ring from the condom at the time I was unaware that rubber and petroleum lubes did not mix. I did not conduct a search for the missing part nor did I inform the girl.

The other involved oral sex with a prostitute in the late 1980's. With the HIV scare I opted a BJ with a condom with Noxinol-9. After a short period the girl started gaging and I responded "To big sweetheart?" She responded "No it's the chemical on the condom. So much for my ego.
Apr 2, 2:13 pm
DreezzyyBabyy DreezzyyBabyy
Bahaha these are funny. I don't really have any funny stories..
Nov 3, 1:26 am
Total posts: 13
Unique posters: 8