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lamira lamira
I'm really into anal sex, but my partner is not too comfortable with the notion. He does not like the idea of "Hershey Highway." Therefore, how do I encourage my partner to have anal sex with me without pressuring him or making him feel uncomfortable?
09/29/2010
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iceman681 iceman681
Quote:
Originally posted by lamira
I'm really into anal sex, but my partner is not too comfortable with the notion. He does not like the idea of "Hershey Highway." Therefore, how do I encourage my partner to have anal sex with me without pressuring him or making him feel ...
first never ask unless you just got out of the shower. reassure him its not a homosexual thing, most hetero-couples do it. and insure him if he don't like the feel or the reactions from you that he wont have to do it ever again (for me once was enough to like it). me and my wife don't do it too much we save it for special moments.
09/29/2010
ScottA ScottA
Figure out why he's not interested and then attempt to address his concerns.

Men's concerns tend to be grouped in two classes: hygiene and safety.

If it's hygiene then he's worried about what you as a couple might encounter during anal sex. Most of the time you don't have to worry, provided that you have your fun shortly after the recipient goes to the bathroom. If you're concerned then a small water enema can help make sure things are clean, and a condom is always an option to make cleanup easy, prevent UTIs, and eliminate the risk of any potentially unpleasant reactions your rectum may have to semen.

If it's a safety concern then he's worried about hurting you. Talk over with him how anal can be done safely and comfortably.

There are some other possibilities - for instance he might just not really believe that any woman would like or enjoy anal, and he doesn't want you to "suffer for him". It might also be a cultural/religious aversion.

It's also possible that he'll just never be comfortable with the idea, and if so you might want to explore other anal play options with him.
09/29/2010
LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
Nina Hartley has covered this topic a time or two on her video blog on SexIs. She's always got a great perspective on things and is frank and honest about how to deal with the "messy" aspects of anal... it's worth a watch.

Nina Hartley on Anal Sex
More Nina on Anal Sex
Even More Nina on Anal—this time she's talking rimming
09/30/2010
CleverKitty CleverKitty
Have you tried asking if he'll use toys on you anally? It might be a first step.

But really the key to making him comfortable is finding out why he isn't in the first place.
09/30/2010
tigerkate tigerkate
I agree with what others have said- find out why he is uncomfortable with it first. Have a conversation about it, try not to have this conversation in the middle of a heated moment either Take time, try to understand him, communicate with him, and be open.
I know for me, I had a lot of reservations. A huge factor was trust and lack of control of certain things (the messy, hygiene 'things'). So being able to trust my partner was pretty big, and then talking it over and just being open about it and how it felt and how I felt really helped-- taking the 'energy' out of the topic really, and just observing certain reactions and possibilities.
09/30/2010
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by lamira
I'm really into anal sex, but my partner is not too comfortable with the notion. He does not like the idea of "Hershey Highway." Therefore, how do I encourage my partner to have anal sex with me without pressuring him or making him feel ...
Get an anal douche and use a condom. That is the cleanest way.

Also get an anal toy and practice yourself so he knows you are comfortable and he is less worried about hurting you. maybe use the toy in front of him to show the amount of pleasure you get.
09/30/2010
lamira lamira
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
Figure out why he's not interested and then attempt to address his concerns.

Men's concerns tend to be grouped in two classes: hygiene and safety.

If it's hygiene then he's worried about what you as a couple might ...
Thanks for the advice. For him, it's more a hygiene issue. I think it's a good idea to use a condom in this situation, probably ones that are extra strong, to hopefully prevent rips or tears. This, hopefully, will make him feel more comfortable.
09/30/2010
lamira lamira
Quote:
Originally posted by CleverKitty
Have you tried asking if he'll use toys on you anally? It might be a first step.

But really the key to making him comfortable is finding out why he isn't in the first place.
I've never thought about that. I should probably ask him. See if he's comfortable, and then move on from there. Thanks!!
09/30/2010
lamira lamira
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Get an anal douche and use a condom. That is the cleanest way.

Also get an anal toy and practice yourself so he knows you are comfortable and he is less worried about hurting you. maybe use the toy in front of him to show the amount of ...
Thanks. Once, I talk to him, I might have to buy some douche from here.
09/30/2010
lamira lamira
Quote:
Originally posted by LicentiouslyYours
Nina Hartley has covered this topic a time or two on her video blog on SexIs. She's always got a great perspective on things and is frank and honest about how to deal with the "messy" aspects of anal... it's worth a ...
Thanks for the links, she's great, really informative and funny.
09/30/2010
evanovca evanovca


anal is something i keep trying to convince myself i like. so far it's not working.
10/01/2010
CleverKitty CleverKitty
meg.ing even though a lot of people like it if it's not your piece of cake don't stress. You don't have to like everything.

You've tried it, you're open, it didn't feel good so no big deal. If you ever want to come back to it you can but don't waste time on things that don't make you feel good.
10/01/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by lamira
Thanks. Once, I talk to him, I might have to buy some douche from here.
To be completely honest I haven't been too impressed with the douches/enemas I've tried from here - they're somewhat clumsy, hard to clean, and the nozzles are big. While they're smaller than what you're probably planning on putting in there, the enema is usually one of the first things you do so there isn't much warm-up time. I'd say look at your drugstore first.

I've been suggesting that they carry the StreemMaster Mini for a while - it's the bset one I've tried so far (though I'm far from an expert), but for some reason they can't get it.
10/01/2010
ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
Get an anal douche and use a condom. That is the cleanest way.

Also get an anal toy and practice yourself so he knows you are comfortable and he is less worried about hurting you. maybe use the toy in front of him to show the amount of ...
"Anal douche" is a small water enema, about 1 cup or under.
10/12/2010
teeny <3 teeny <3
Quote:
Originally posted by lamira
I'm really into anal sex, but my partner is not too comfortable with the notion. He does not like the idea of "Hershey Highway." Therefore, how do I encourage my partner to have anal sex with me without pressuring him or making him feel ...
Great question! I've been having the same issue with my man too.
02/17/2011
CamelliaGirl CamelliaGirl
let him touch you with toys! a middle ground between anal masturbation and partnered anal that he might be more comfortable with.

Also, the rectum is just not full of shit most of the time. I anally masturbate/fuck a LOT, and I just haven't had "hershey kisses" (if we're keeping up that metaphor, lol) show up that often.
10/23/2011
Missmarc Missmarc
A long time ago, had a bf that told me that anal sex caused AIDS. You should really talk to him, and maybe watch an educational video on anal sex together. Try use some toys to ease him into the process.
10/23/2011
Jordan B Jordan B
12/10/2011
Total posts: 19
Unique posters: 12