The New Intimacy

Unfullfilled Fantasies

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Contributor: <3BF <3BF
When you are in a long-term relationship with someone have you ever had a fantasy that your partner does not share? Anal sex for example. How should you resolve the situation, by compromising or abandoning the fantasy?
12/28/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Constructive discussions on Anal Sex:

How to properly lube up for anal?
I've never had anal sex before, though I do use anal plugs and such. I plan on experimenting with this soon, and I'm wondering how to properly lube up

Lesbians:what is the best position?
i am a lesbian starting to look into having anal sex. i am in a lesbian relationship. i am curions to know if anyone out there have any suggestions on

Meat sock...
Believe it or not I have been told by numerous people that it is possiable to have anal sex and pull out your lovers insides with your penis. They...

Regardless of if YOU indulge in anal sex, do you consider it a "KINK" or a "NORMAL Vanilla" sexual activity?
Anal sex, like oral sex goes back thousands of years. Look at ancient drawings from the far east or even the picture menu from brothels in Pompeii....

Anal sex for someone who's basically a beginner?
So my boyfriend and I are ready to begin exploring anal sex, but I have a lot of questions. Let me provide a little information first. We're both 31..
12/28/2011
Contributor: AndroAngel AndroAngel
Typically, we let it go. If one of us is against something, the other will not push for it. For instance, I won't make him let me play with his nipples, even though I really really want to, because he doesn't like it. If it's something one partner wants and the other is neutral on, we'll usually try it once and see where it leads. For instance, I was interested in anal sex, but didn't intend to try it. He wanted to try it, and it turns out I love it. I probably never would have done it if he'd pushed me for it rather than asking then letting me think about it and decide on my own time, though.
12/28/2011
Contributor: Ghost Ghost
We also "drop it". For something to work, both partners need to be into it.
12/29/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
We drop it, and I only indulge in that fantasy during solo time or through erotica/porn. I don't think I could "abandon" a fantasy, though...
12/29/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
I see nothing wrong with trying to tell them the benefits of doing the fantasy, but you should not try to talk them into it. For example like you said Anal sex, it is someone's choice to do it or not, but there is nothing wrong with you saying I have heard it makes you come harder, but if it is still a NO then it is NO. Wait until a better time and talk again.
12/29/2011
Contributor: Tangerine Tangerine
I think it's called a fantasy for reason..doesnt mean it HAS to come true.
Just depends on the relationship and how important that Fantasy is vs. the relationship. Will it fester until I get my way, (them or a side project) or will/can I just get over it and let go.

I cant say that I have that issue on that level. Mine are pretty much fullfilled, I have one thing I can think of but maybe I save it for a rainy day.

I generally like to have these talks before I even start with someone, if I know there is something I DEEPLY need and I can see them not meeting that need I discuss and we can decide will this work or should we say goodbye.
01/12/2012