When do you think is the proper stage of a relationship to incorporate sex toys?

DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
Me and my wife have had a few sex toys in play since we started having sex. What do you think is the appropriate point to suggest toy play?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Sex toys belong in the bedroom from the beginning.
76  (99%)
Sex toys are a welcome addition after things get stale.
1  (1%)
Sex toys are a last ditch effort if things just aren't working right.
Total votes: 77
Poll is closed
10/18/2011
  • Add More Pleasure to Your Collection! Buy 1 Vibe, Get 1 FREE
  • Better Price Sale - Save 50%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 70%
  • Better Price Sale - Save 60%
  • Better Price - Save 40%
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
js250 js250
Maybe not the first time you have sex, but if you are into toys, you might want to bring it up in the beginning. Otherwise how do you know about your compatability with your partner?
10/18/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
I didn't vote, cause I can't say I agree with any choices in the poll. I think sex toys are a fun additive at any stage of a relationship as long as you and your partner are comfortable with them. Like everything with sex, no two people or couples are alike. You have to openly talk about what is fun and acceptable and what is off limits (if there are any
I have never viewed toys as a have to, or as a crutch to fix the fizzle. If you like them, try them out and figure out which ones you like best, or maybe you discover you don't like them at all.
With so much variety there is a little something for everyone!
10/18/2011
- Kira - - Kira -
My husband and I started using sex toys the first time we had sex because I had some cuffs at the time. Within a week or two we had gotten our first couples vibrator as I had ditched the ones I was using with my ex.

I think it varies from couple to couple. Not everyone is ready to pull out the vibrators and cuffs on the first go round, you know? Sometimes it needs to be discussed first.
10/18/2011
Yoda Yoda
I don`t agree with any of the options above. I wouldn`t introduce them at the beginning, but who says that a relationship has to go stale at all. Why can`t sex toys be introduce gradually while thing are going great?
10/18/2011
Coralbell Coralbell
We didn't use toys immediately, but it was pretty soon into the relationship.

When I first started dating my bf he was a bit hesitant about using toys together and said something like "If we need that already, what are we going to have to do in the future?" I guess he was thinking that toys are only something to add when things get stale, and that if we used them from the start we'd have to start doing some crazy things later on.

But after we talked about it for a while I was able to get him to see it as something fun that adds enjoyment, rather than something we have to use because the sex isn't good enough without it.
10/18/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
OK - my soap box today - where is the "Other' option? The stated choices are very limiting. Please be more thoughtful by providing more options - but then don't forget 'Other' - it's almost always a viable choice.

My take is that although having sex toys from the beginning is fine with me, in our case, we added them in after a few years of marriage and a couple of kids. There wasn't anything wrong with our sex at the time - but adding toys served to make it more fun - at a time when having fun without the kids was important.
10/18/2011
Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
other for me. Personally, I would only use toys for solo use, and I would absolutely try to keep them out of couple play. that's just me though. Each couple is different though. Communication is key!
10/18/2011
wrecklesswords wrecklesswords
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Maybe not the first time you have sex, but if you are into toys, you might want to bring it up in the beginning. Otherwise how do you know about your compatability with your partner?
I definitely agree!

My girlfriend had never used them before me and I told her up front that I use them during solo sometimes and that I would like to try to play with her. She said she was open to it, but wasn't overly excited either. She does want to know, though.

So, I think you should at least tell them from the beginning and then introduce them when you feel comfortable with it.
10/18/2011
Beck Beck
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
Maybe not the first time you have sex, but if you are into toys, you might want to bring it up in the beginning. Otherwise how do you know about your compatability with your partner?
This is what I was going to say. You do not have to necessary bring them in to the sex life right away but you could talk about it and see from there. You are going to want to do this before being attached to someone who does not want the same sex life as you do. I would of voted Other!
10/18/2011
carenautilus carenautilus
Quote:
Originally posted by AngelvMaynard
I didn't vote, cause I can't say I agree with any choices in the poll. I think sex toys are a fun additive at any stage of a relationship as long as you and your partner are comfortable with them. Like everything with sex, no two people or ... More
Very thoughtful post! I agree completely.
10/18/2011
geliebt geliebt
I think it's ideal to be honest about everything, always, so this is something that I would want to bring up very early on (probably as soon as any sexytiemz come up), because I know some people are uncomfortable with toys and if something's going to be a problem, I'd want to know that right away. I also wouldn't want someone to keep their toys a secret from me!
10/18/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Anyone who was interested in me would have to accept my toys right from the start! If he can't handle them, then I'm not handling him...hehehe.
10/18/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by DiscretionAdvised
Me and my wife have had a few sex toys in play since we started having sex. What do you think is the appropriate point to suggest toy play?
The first day we were intimate, she said, here are a couple of my favorite toys. You can play with them too.

Gee I still love that woman!!!! (37 total years later).
10/18/2011
Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by Shellz31
Anyone who was interested in me would have to accept my toys right from the start! If he can't handle them, then I'm not handling him...hehehe.
I loved her "toys" from the start, but soon replaced them with one's that were NICER (and she liked better), after that, once we were REALLY serious, and ever since, we have TOY SHOPPED together. It is either SHARED success or failure in the LET'S TRY IT department....but even with the failures, it is SO much fun to experiment!!!!
10/18/2011
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
The first day we were intimate, she said, here are a couple of my favorite toys. You can play with them too.

Gee I still love that woman!!!! (37 total years later).
LOL! She's a keeper for sure!
10/18/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by DiscretionAdvised
Me and my wife have had a few sex toys in play since we started having sex. What do you think is the appropriate point to suggest toy play?
I voted from the beginning because I think they're a lot of fun! I don't think I've ever used toys for the first time with someone, but second time it's not unusual to break out some sensual items.
10/19/2011
fifi fifi
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
The first day we were intimate, she said, here are a couple of my favorite toys. You can play with them too.

Gee I still love that woman!!!! (37 total years later).
D'awwww!!!! That's awesome! Yay for being open and it making things fun in the bedroom!
10/19/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by DiscretionAdvised
Me and my wife have had a few sex toys in play since we started having sex. What do you think is the appropriate point to suggest toy play?
It has been almost 4 years with my man and my toys stay at my house in my room. he has no interest in using them on me or watching me use them. oh well more fun for me lol..
10/19/2011
DiscretionAdvised DiscretionAdvised
Sorry for the lack of the "Other" option.

I can't say that the current poll standings suprise me on a sex toy website
10/19/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
We've been married 32 years and tried a hard pointy beige (yucky) vibrator about 25 or so years ago and hated it. After a few attempts at enjoying it - we tossed it and decided "no more toys".

Boy have products developed since then. We just started buying them again a little over a month ago. Our sex life was ok - but only because we didn't know what it could be like. My husband had always suspected I was multi-orgasmic but we had not idea just how strong my urges would be until we added the toys. Suddenly, my headaches and backaches and hip aches went away. I no longer had restless legs while sleeping at night. I woke up feeling GREAT and I no longer felt like I was trying to function in a fog.

The sex toys really did awaken something in our sex life but we're also now finding new ways to express our love that include toys but aren't focused on toys (if that makes any sense).
10/19/2011
The Curious Couple The Curious Couple
My fiancee and I have used toys from the beginning, and I think that's a great way to go!
10/19/2011
Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
I think you can use sex toys at any point in a relationship, as long as both people are comfortable. You can bring one out the first time you get intimate, or you might wait a year before adding one to your partner play. It just depends on when you want to bring a toy into the mix. I don't think there is anything wrong with bringing one out right away, but it's perfectly fine to wait as well. For me, it's been different with different boyfriends; some I have suggested them right away, and then other times I've waited more than a few months. It just depends on the person and where we are in exploring our sexuality.
10/20/2011
Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
He used a vibrator on me before we started having sex.
10/20/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
I put from the beginning, but it depends on the couple. My Man and I were having sex for decades before we brought in sex toys. We did NOT have a problem with "fizzling" or anything. But, due to early perimenopause I started having issues having an orgasm. I had never had any problem before, and naively thought sex toys were for (don't shoot me) lesbians and old maids.

We discovered that with sex toys, I not only could have an easier time with orgasm (along with a well thought out HRT program) but we found things to do in bed we had never thought of before!

All that time wasted. OK, not "wasted" we had a [italic]great] sex life before we found toys. I wish we had used sex toys earlier in our relationship. I was the one who didn't want to use them. Go figure.

But, we're having a great time, now and we always have. Sex was always good for us. But, the toys often add something to the experience. We still have sex with no toys at least a few times a week, too.
10/20/2011
zeb zeb
toy are the best from the begining
10/26/2011
Liz2 Liz2
I would have to say none of the options offered.
My answer is ""it depends" which is vague but I always seems to know when it was appropriate. My present bf would have been been blown away if he saw my toys immed. He didn't, and now enjoys toys immensely.
10/26/2011
Kendrir Kendrir
I know there's a real tendency to think of toys as a crutch that makes up for some shortcoming elsewhere in the sexual relationship, especially if they're introduced later in the relationship. But that's where communication comes in - and patience & understanding.
12/05/2011
dv8 dv8
Quote:
Originally posted by zeb
toy are the best from the begining
Heck, you can start earlier than that. Mention toys in an online dating profile.
12/05/2011
Rawhide Rawhide
Once sex is on the table, toys are too. They go hand in hand. Of course, that doesn't mean every toy is in play right from the start. For me, certain toys (cocks, harnesses) are so integral to the way I fuck that they are there right off the bat. Other toys that have the potential to overwhelm (depending on the experience level of your partner) are phased in later.
12/05/2011
  • 1
  • 2
Total posts: 48
Unique posters: 44