Squirt - the realistic - sex toy Sex toy by Doc Johnson
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Squirt - the realistic

Realistic dildo by Doc Johnson

Our Price:$54.99
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( 435 users added this item )
 
 
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Busted My Balls - Literally

While the design itself is an inspired idea, the actual product is disappointing. Poor quality and construction. I wouldn't recommend this product.
Published: November 9, 2009
Pros:
Unique function, nice size/shape.
Cons:
Stinks, doesn't squirt properly, broke easily.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
I had such high hopes for this dildo. As a webcam performer, I thought "What a great visual, a cumming dildo!"

Sadly, Squirt - The Realistic has been a big disappointment. Upon opening it, I noticed 1) the size - Squirt has some decent girth. 2) the "heft", it's pretty heavy, which is nice when inserted 3) this thing stinks. This was my first rubber dildo, so maybe that's normal, but I don't like smelly toys.

Once I got past the smell, I couldn't wait to make this big boy cum! The recipe for ejaculate that was included suggested ingredients like sugar and egg whites- not things I want to put into my vagina! So I decided on a safer alternative: plain yogurt. I had to water it down a LOT to get it to squirt through the tubing, so much so that it felt nothing like cum. Disappointing.

I had to trim the plastic tubing, it was poking out of the tip of the cock, which posed a major risk for scratching sensitive vaginal tissue. Also, extra care must be taken when cleaning the hole and the tubing (make sure you check that the entire length of tube is cleaned).

I discovered the suction cup is useless. It pops right out. So much for hand-free masturbation. Upon closer inspection I noticed that in the cavity where the suction cup attaches my ball sac had busted and whatever liquid/gel Doc Johnson put in there to make the testicles squish around had leaked out, all over my toy box. Yuck. Whatever the liquid is, it got on a couple of my older (unloved, thankfully) toys and melted them, so I'm guessing it's oil/petroleum based.

All in all, this was a waste of $55, but buying this toy has taught me an important lesson: When a sex toy comes with a warranty card, fill it out and put it in the mail before you ever test drive the toy!
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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About author
Reviewed by VenusFaery (Eden Advanced reviewer) Domestic Vixen
Rank
 
5.3
wrote 3 reviews
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Comments
systematicweasel (verified)

Great review ^^

08/09/2011
LuciFaery (verified)

Thanks for the review!

11/02/2011
sweetiejo (verified)

Thanks for the review hun.

12/23/2011
Bob Dole (verified)

Nice review

Jan 27, 8:07 pm
Melissa Smith (verified)

Sorry it was a 'bust'

Feb 3, 10:55 pm
misskat (verified)

Great review! Very insightful

Feb 3, 11:39 pm
Brandonn (verified)

Thanks

Feb 6, 4:39 am
AnotherPrettyFace (verified)

Thanks for this amazing review!

Feb 13, 12:13 am
flutterby (verified)

Sorry it wasn't as good as you thought it would be-and what a pain to clean up

Feb 23, 2:48 am
xoxo (verified)

sorry it sucked

Mar 4, 11:04 am
Schattenstern (verified)

Thanks for the heads up on the smell.

Mar 13, 10:26 pm
comatose-kitty (verified)

Aww man

Mar 28, 8:16 am
Aratal (verified)

Wow, egg whites? Yaugh. Thanks for reviewing, hehe.

Mar 30, 2:05 am
CaramelBBW (verified)

Great review. And "Hi" from a fellow cam girl

Apr 13, 5:31 pm

thanks for the review.

Apr 29, 1:52 pm
transfag (verified)

thanks for the review. I'd suggest cum lubricant, but its a bummer the toy is a bust :/

May 10, 10:36 pm
Eternity (verified)

It's a shame that this one was so bad It could have had a lot of potential

May 11, 5:18 am
Teaser (verified)

Thanks for the super review!

May 14, 6:40 pm
  • 2
Total comments: 38
Forum
  • What to use in squirting dildo?cum lube?
    • What is the best substance to use in squirting dildo? I saw something called cum lube, that is a milky white lube. Does any one know what the best thing to use is?
    • Quote: What is the best substance to use in squirting dildo? I saw something called cum lube, that is a milky white lube. Does any one know what the best thing to use is?
      Yes I believe you may mean cumlube from BD? That stuff works amazing with any and all cumming toys
    • yea Ive tried the bad dragon cum lube, the newer version seems better than the old one they had but either way a great lube for squirting toys. I wouldn't mind if Eden actually carried some of the BD toys
    3 posts Read all
  • Dildo that cums
    • Marhel
      Hello! I wanna know how does it work...I mean how does it ejaculate and can I use real sperm in it?
    • Rachell25
      Quote: Hello! I wanna know how does it work...I mean how does it ejaculate and can I use real sperm in it?
      Ejaculating dildos have a bulb you can use to suck up liquid, then you squeeze the bulb at the appropriate moment and it "comes"! :))
      I'd recommend you to use warm water and not real semen (although mechanically, I'm sure you could), cause if you use real sperm, you would need to clean the entire system afterwards which would be difficult to do.
    • Real semen will clog it up, and will harbor bacteria. Don't do it. You can use warm water or cold water, or some places sell fake semen substitute, but stay away from the real deal.

      Sleeping Dream wrote a review of one of the ones on our site; the Eros Ejaculator. See what she thought of it :)
    12 posts Read all
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