The amazing squirting cock - sex toy by Doc Johnson - review by PeaceToTheMiddleEast

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More Like No Squirt For Me

I was so excited on getting this toy I wanted to use it for camming. Well I got it and seen how big it was and that scared me a little bit. I waited to use it so I can save up and get some lube that looked like cum to use with it. All my hopes went down the drain the day I tried it out. It was not what I was expecting.
Realistic, Suction cup, Nice size
Material, Girthy, Lint magnet, Does not "cum" well
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


I got this to use as a vaginal dildo. The main reason I got it was for the squirting ability. You could probably use it for anal but I would use a condom because of the material this is made of.

As for this being for a beginner I would not try this if you are just starting out with toys. It is really big. Even I had trouble using it.

  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Vaginal

Material / Texture

When I took the squirt out the box I noticed a strong rubbery smell. I have washed it and the smell is still there.

The squirt is made out of rubber it is a number 3 on the safety scale. It also has veins that can be felt. While inserting you can feel all the ridges in the toy it does make for a realistic toy.

I ended up tasting this because that was another key focus I wanted to do blow job shows and then have the cum look squirting out. The taste of this I can't describe but it was nasty and it left a horrible after taste in my mouth. I had to brush my teeth to get rid of it.
    • Porous
    • Strong odor
    • Bumpy

Design / Shape / Size

The design of squirt is pretty neat. It did feel like a real cock. The only thing they could have made smaller was the balls on squirt they are huge and tend to get in the way. I love the fact that it has a suction cup on it too. I stuck it to the wall and it did not come off until I took it off. The only thing I did was try a blow job on the wall and it worked out well. The head is great if I can get it all the way in. Sorry to say this boy was too big for me. That was even with lube. I will give him another go at some point.

The shape of squirt is not too bad it has a mushroom like head. Some veins and some balls. There is a tube that sticks up thru the dildo I did not have any issues with mine sticking out of the top of it thank goodness for that because I would not want no scratches in my hoochie coo. It is beige in color. The stock photos do not do it justice it looks way better in person. This is not discreet at all. If you wanted to travel with it you would have to carry it in the pouch you get with it. Then hide it in your suitcase.

Here are Squirts measurements:

Color: Beige
Length: 7 1/2"
Insertable Length: 5"
Circumference: 6"
Diameter: 1 7/8"
Weight: 1.5LBS
    • Realistic
    • Whimsical / artistic


So the Squirt is supposed to "squirt" right? Well that is so not the case. I figure I would try a water based lube that looks like cum but that did not go over so well.

I had to first cut the tip of the tube because when I tried to put the bulb pump on it would not go on well. After I cut it then it fit. I tried to put lube in it right out of the lube container and it would suck it up really slow. So needless to say I stopped. I tried to pump what lube I did have in there out and it would not even reach up to the tube. What a let down that was.

I have not tried the sugar recipe that they give on the outside of the box because I am scared to do that. Who want's sugar near their crotch area? Can you say major yeast infection? If I do try that I will only do it to see if it will actually make its way up and through the tube.

I did try water by sucking it into the blub pump and then putting the tube on just to see if it would work and it did. But I don't want water in my crotch either. I did think about the lube and some water maybe making some kind of mixture out of that, but then I would have to get a lube that was not water based.
    • Hard to figure out
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

Since Squirt is porous it does not clean well. You should use a antibacterial soap and water. Another thing would be good to use is a antibacterial toy cleaner.

When cleaning the bulb pump make sure you dry it out well or if not you will have bacterial build up as there is no air to really get in there to dry it out. I have not had a problem yet but only have used it once. I just hope when I check on it that it is okay.

The Squirt comes with a cute red bag. I put mines in there and store it in the box that it came with.

I specifically got a water based lube to use with this so it does not damage the material on this.
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance


Squirt comes in a big cardboard box. There is nothing discreet about this toy at all. It is written all over the box Squirting dildo. It would not be too discreet to give as a gift to someone.

There are no instructions on how to use squirt, only a paper on how to care for it. There is also the recipe on how to make cum to use with your squirt but again not too keen on that idea.

Here is the recipe if you want to know what it is:

1/4 Cup of Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 Egg White
Mix together with small amount of sugar to desired thickness
    • Good for storage
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

In the future I hope they come up with a better one then this one. That or make something easier for the cum mixture to come out. If I was a crafty person I would figure something out. I like the size of the toy and plan to use it again when I am brave enough.
Follow-up commentary
I have retired this to my closet I have not even bothered trying to get it to work at all or trying to see what else I can use to make it squirt up thru the tube. I hope they come up with a better one in the near future.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Do you like this review?
  • KrazyKandy
    Great review! I want it for the same reason as you. Bummer.
  • Gracie
    Nice review! Sorry for your disapointment! Have you tried a hybrid lube like liquid silk or sliquid organics silk ? I think they look kinda like cum. I have the sliquid one and I like it as a lube too!
  • RavenStrling
    Wow what a bummer.... Thanks for the review!
  • damnbul12
    Thank you for the review.
  • kurtster79
    Sorry to hear this didn't work so well my sister has it and she had a lot of complaints about it as well. Not made of a very good material to begin with either
  • karenm
    Thanks for your review!
  • Rossie
    Thank you for the wonderful review. That cum recipe is a really bad idea!
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