Handcrafted wooden dildo #329 - probe review by Carrie Ann

Handcrafted wooden dildo #329

Probe discontinued
by Hardwood dildos

Review is sponsored by

EdenFantasys

Meet My Wooden Schlong

The Hardwood #329, with its dual ends and curved shaft, is easy to use and sure to please just about anyone. Its textured end provides a mellow, subtle sensation that shouldn't be too extreme to most users. Its smooth end is exquisitely slick and firm, allowing frictionless thrusting. As a mid-size dildo, it fills you up and stimulates the g-spot, allowing it to be "just right" for nearly all levels of users.

Published: July 23, 2009

Pros

Firm, smooth, gorgeous wood, excellent g-spot curve, very light weight.

Cons

Very light weight, may feel insubstantial to those who like a heavy toy.

Rating by reviewer:

extremely useful review

Use

The Handcrafted Wooden Dildo #329 is a medium sized, firm but lightweight toy ideally used for vaginal penetration. It is not harness compatible (unless you have an adjustable ring for your harness) nor recommended for anal use as it has no flared base. Because it has a ridged end as well as a smooth end it can easily be used by just about anyone, no matter their preference for texture - or lack of it.

Though the toy is double ended and both ends work terrifically as either handle or dildo, it isn't quite long enough for comfortable two person use.

This dildo is curved, making it g-spotting a breeze. It zeroed in on mine immediately upon insertion, no effort required other than to hold on tight to prevent it from spinning to face the wrong direction, even with rapid thrusting.

Material / Texture

This dildo is absolutely gorgeous; smooth, firm, lightly grained maple with a five layer coating of food grade varnish called Salad Bowl Finish. It's very slick feeling, allowing the hand to glide effortlessly across its surface. Inserted, the wood has no drag and requires very little - if any - lubricant.

The textured end, with it's three bulging, almost ball-like ridges, feels incredible. It's not "too much" texture and yet you can definitely feel it. I would recommend either end for both beginners and more advanced toy users.

Wood is very firm, as you would expect, with absolutely no give or flex so care should be taken with hard thrusting, especially by a partner, to prevent discomfort.

Despite how hard and solid this toy is, it's also amazingly lightweight, weighing in at a mere 2 oz.

Design / Shape / Size

This amazing dildo is nine inches long - leaving plenty of room to hold onto it during use - and 1.25 inches in diameter. Because it's so firm and un-giving, it does feel a bit thicker to me so those who like smaller toys may want to pass. You're definitely going to feel this one fill you up, though it doesn't feel "too" large by any means.

The curved shape works quite well for hitting the g-spot as well as for aiding in keeping the toy facing the right direction. Because it's on the long side it's also easy to use a short,rocking thrust that allows you to rapidly stroke your g-spot with little effort.

The bulging ridges are subtle once they're inserted. They can definitely be felt and are certainly stimulating but they aren't overly textured or uncomfortable.

Performance

The Hardwood #329 excels at g-spot stimulation. It's also quite nice for that full feeling, for something to clench and squeeze during clitoral stimulation.

My only issue with this dildo is its weight. I prefer a heavier, more substantial toy. Even though it's filling and accurate at hitting all the right spots, it feels a bit lackluster to me due to the fact that it's feather light.

This may be a benefit for some as it requires far less effort to thrust than a heavy toy.

Care and Maintenance

The creator of these hardwood dildos recommends cleaning with a mild soap and water. A ten percent bleach solution could likely be used but they definitely shouldn't be boiled or put in the dishwasher.

Even food grade varnish can be worn down, chipped, gouged or scratched (as anyone who owns salad bowls can attest) and it's always possible for wood to crack or break, so care should be taken both when cleaning (no abrasive soaps or cloths) and when storing (don't go tossing it around, stepping on it, letting it roll around with glass and steel toys or playing the bongos on your desk). The #329 comes with a lovely, deep purple, velvety drawstring pouch to help protect it and I highly suggest using it at all times. Something this gorgeous and wonderful deserves to be treated accordingly.

Any type of lube can be used with this one though oil based may be harder to remove than either silicone or water based.

Condoms are recommended if this toy is being shared.

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Follow-up commentary I don't like it anymore 3 months after original review

I wanted to like this dildo. I did.

I recognize that it's a really great dildo. That its craftsmanship and finish are amazing. This is an excellent toy.

For most people.

I just can't get past the lightness of it and the feeling that it's not really there. I like heavy stuff and this is so feather light it's aggravating to me.

It feels good just insubstantial.

I'm always kind of stumped by toys like this, toys that are without a doubt a high star product but that don't do it for me.

Ah well.

If you like the green factor or like light weight toys, this thing is most excellent. If weight and a substantial toy are your thing, you may want to look elsewhere. It's not a fault of the manufacturer or the toy; it's a quality of wood and there's really no getting around it.

This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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About author

Carrie Ann

7.1 / 10

Reviews (328)

Comments

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Sammi

The look of this one is nice - I'm surprised it's so light! Does it have any kind of woodsy scent?

07/23/2009
Carrie Ann

Not particularly. No more than a wooden spoon does, really. Definitely not anything noticeable unless you stuff it right under your nose. Heh.

And, yeah, it's unbelievably light. Lighter than a plastic toy with no battery in it. It's odd.

07/23/2009
Liz2

Firm, light, forgiving...seems to have it all!
This will be my first wood toy. Nice review! Thanks,

07/24/2009
Naughty Student

Grrrr, I want one!

07/26/2009
Alt

Hmm, this one is hard to judge if it would be safe, but I would most likely conclude that it very well could be, especially since is 9 inches! (longer than an average remote control...)

It is curved, which I guess could possibly allow it to be curved into the colon, but the likely hood of it getting stuck in there seems low, since it seems like with that kind of length, you could simply grab it, and work its way out of there (but that is just hypothetically saying if someone managed to get it up there in the 1st place... which seems like would be enough pain for the user to stop before proceeding to get it further in)

I guess I would have to test this one for myself to be absolutely sure, but it just seems like it would take more work to get a hard object (even if it is curved) like this one, to become stuck inside fully. That would be a good magic trick maybe, but accidently 9 inches get stuck! O.o

07/26/2009
Carrie Ann

Well, anyone certainly could attempt to use it anally. I'm, however, never going to recommend it with a toy that doesn't have a flared base. That would be irresponsible of me.

Eden Fantasys is kind enough to give me toys to review. The last thing I want to do is discard standard safety information or recommend unsafe things. If someone were to read my review and have an accident because I recommended something potentially dangerous, I'd feel pretty awful about it. I also wouldn't want to put Eden Fantasys in a position where someone could say "but they told me it was ok!" even if reviews are listed as the opinion of the reviewer and not EF.

It's just bad form.

Plus...

Yanno...

If people can get a full sized carrot, cucumber or hair brush handle stuck in their ass, I'm sure this one isn't out of the realm of possibility.

How does it happen? I don't know. But it does. ER's see this sort of thing at least a few times a year.

07/26/2009
Alt

Although I think the flared base policy is only for smaller toys, because given a large enough toy, there is no way it could go all the way past the sphincter.
As for specifically this toy, I do not know, since I would have to see and test it out myself to be sure, but seeing as it is 9 inches, it just seems very unlikely.

Also, I certainly wouldn't think that someone is going to blame others for trying things on themselves and somehow think others are to blame. I cannot image someone replicated 2Girls1Cup, got extremely sick, and then said "but those 2 girls were fine with doing it"

What I mainly wonder is how in the hell someone would actually manage to get a carrot, cucumber, or hair brush handle stuck inside them given enough length, unless you are saying it could break.
Indeed that would be a different story, and I could even see this toy breaking because of the wood (and then possibly becoming stuck), but I cannot image someones sphincter is strong enough to do such a thing.

I am sure the ER does indeed see this sort of thing a few times a year. I have a neighbor that is an ER doctor and I have heard some stories are scary (like a light bulb), but I just cannot even see how it is possible for someone to expand their rectum to greater lengths (talking more than 5) without experiencing pain on the top to accommodate such a large object.

But again, it’s hard to tell how the exact size (even from the 1:1 picture) of this object, (especially because of the bend) so it would have to be something I try (and plan to in the future) before I can make a conclusion on the exact safeness of it.

07/26/2009
I Want It Now.

Thanks for the review! I would definitely prefer a 'weightier' toy. There's just something missing from ultra light-weight toys, for me.

07/26/2009
Carrie Ann

@ Alt. I'll very much look forward to your review testing your theories.

07/26/2009
Alt

07/26/2009
imp

Nice review Carrie_Ann I'm about to write a review on one of these too, I am thinking one with bumps may have been a little more fun .. but yes, they are incredibly light, kinda in an odd way.

@Alt google anal fisting lol

08/17/2009
Hubby80

thanks for the review

12/19/2012
Shade

Interesting feed back. xD

01/30/2013
Kristi :)

Thank you for the review. I never thought about wood being so light. I'm used to heavy toys. Thank you!!

02/14/2013
eri86

Thanks.

02/28/2013
TJtheMadHatter

Thanks for your review! Thanks for bringing up the lightness. It made me stop and think about my preferences.

02/28/2013
wicked48

Great review. Very helpful.

05/20/2013