Meet My Wooden Schlong
The Hardwood #329, with its dual ends and curved shaft, is easy to use and sure to please just about anyone. Its textured end provides a mellow, subtle sensation that shouldn't be too extreme to most users. Its smooth end is exquisitely slick and firm, allowing frictionless thrusting. As a mid-size dildo, it fills you up and stimulates the g-spot, allowing it to be "just right" for nearly all levels of users.Published: July 23, 2009
Pros:
Firm, smooth, gorgeous wood, excellent g-spot curve, very light weight.
Cons:
Very light weight, may feel insubstantial to those who like a heavy toy.
Follow-up commentary
3 months after original review
I wanted to like this dildo. I did.
I recognize that it's a really great dildo. That its craftsmanship and finish are amazing. This is an excellent toy.
For most people.
I just can't get past the lightness of it and the feeling that it's not really there. I like heavy stuff and this is so feather light it's aggravating to me.
It feels good just insubstantial.
I'm always kind of stumped by toys like this, toys that are without a doubt a high star product but that don't do it for me.
Ah well.
If you like the green factor or like light weight toys, this thing is most excellent. If weight and a substantial toy are your thing, you may want to look elsewhere. It's not a fault of the manufacturer or the toy; it's a quality of wood and there's really no getting around it.
I recognize that it's a really great dildo. That its craftsmanship and finish are amazing. This is an excellent toy.
For most people.
I just can't get past the lightness of it and the feeling that it's not really there. I like heavy stuff and this is so feather light it's aggravating to me.
It feels good just insubstantial.
I'm always kind of stumped by toys like this, toys that are without a doubt a high star product but that don't do it for me.
Ah well.
If you like the green factor or like light weight toys, this thing is most excellent. If weight and a substantial toy are your thing, you may want to look elsewhere. It's not a fault of the manufacturer or the toy; it's a quality of wood and there's really no getting around it.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.
About author
Reviewed by
Carrie Ann
(Eden Advanced reviewer) "What after all is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean." ~Christopher Frey
wrote 327 reviews
Forum
-
Wood Toys -vs- Similarly Shaped Glass Toys
-
I must admit, this is the first site i have ever seen wood sex toys for sale. They are beautiful in appearance. How do they feel? I guess i am wondering how many use wood toys on a regular basis.
-
They're definitely lighter, for one.
2 posts Read all -
Thank you for viewing Handcrafted wooden dildo #329 – probe review page!
The look of this one is nice - I'm surprised it's so light! Does it have any kind of woodsy scent?
Not particularly. No more than a wooden spoon does, really. Definitely not anything noticeable unless you stuff it right under your nose. Heh.
And, yeah, it's unbelievably light. Lighter than a plastic toy with no battery in it. It's odd.
Firm, light, forgiving...seems to have it all!
This will be my first wood toy. Nice review! Thanks,
Grrrr, I want one!
Hmm, this one is hard to judge if it would be safe, but I would most likely conclude that it very well could be, especially since is 9 inches! (longer than an average remote control...)
It is curved, which I guess could possibly allow it to be curved into the colon, but the likely hood of it getting stuck in there seems low, since it seems like with that kind of length, you could simply grab it, and work its way out of there (but that is just hypothetically saying if someone managed to get it up there in the 1st place... which seems like would be enough pain for the user to stop before proceeding to get it further in)
I guess I would have to test this one for myself to be absolutely sure, but it just seems like it would take more work to get a hard object (even if it is curved) like this one, to become stuck inside fully. That would be a good magic trick maybe, but accidently 9 inches get stuck! O.o
Well, anyone certainly could attempt to use it anally. I'm, however, never going to recommend it with a toy that doesn't have a flared base. That would be irresponsible of me.
Eden Fantasys is kind enough to give me toys to review. The last thing I want to do is discard standard safety information or recommend unsafe things. If someone were to read my review and have an accident because I recommended something potentially dangerous, I'd feel pretty awful about it. I also wouldn't want to put Eden Fantasys in a position where someone could say "but they told me it was ok!" even if reviews are listed as the opinion of the reviewer and not EF.
It's just bad form.
Plus...
Yanno...
If people can get a full sized carrot, cucumber or hair brush handle stuck in their ass, I'm sure this one isn't out of the realm of possibility.
How does it happen? I don't know. But it does. ER's see this sort of thing at least a few times a year.
Although I think the flared base policy is only for smaller toys, because given a large enough toy, there is no way it could go all the way past the sphincter.
As for specifically this toy, I do not know, since I would have to see and test it out myself to be sure, but seeing as it is 9 inches, it just seems very unlikely.
Also, I certainly wouldn't think that someone is going to blame others for trying things on themselves and somehow think others are to blame. I cannot image someone replicated 2Girls1Cup, got extremely sick, and then said "but those 2 girls were fine with doing it"
What I mainly wonder is how in the hell someone would actually manage to get a carrot, cucumber, or hair brush handle stuck inside them given enough length, unless you are saying it could break.
Indeed that would be a different story, and I could even see this toy breaking because of the wood (and then possibly becoming stuck), but I cannot image someones sphincter is strong enough to do such a thing.
I am sure the ER does indeed see this sort of thing a few times a year. I have a neighbor that is an ER doctor and I have heard some stories are scary (like a light bulb), but I just cannot even see how it is possible for someone to expand their rectum to greater lengths (talking more than 5) without experiencing pain on the top to accommodate such a large object.
But again, it’s hard to tell how the exact size (even from the 1:1 picture) of this object, (especially because of the bend) so it would have to be something I try (and plan to in the future) before I can make a conclusion on the exact safeness of it.
Thanks for the review! I would definitely prefer a 'weightier' toy. There's just something missing from ultra light-weight toys, for me.
@ Alt. I'll very much look forward to your review testing your theories.
Nice review Carrie_Ann
I'm about to write a review on one of these too, I am thinking one with bumps may have been a little more fun .. but yes, they are incredibly light, kinda in an odd way.
@Alt google anal fisting lol