Opening up - book by Cleis Press Inc. - review by lolife

“Opening Up” by renowned “sex-pert” Tristan Taormino is her latest foray into alternative sexuality. Opening Up is one of the most comprehensive books on the subject of open-relationships. It presents polyamoury as yet another valid relationship style and does not disparage monogamy like some other books about open-relationships. The organization of the book is concise and well done. You are able to find certain subjects – such as compersion and legal issues of raising kids in a polyamourous house-hold. Taormino writes honestly and frankly about people who make polyamoury a part of their life. The way that Taormino incorporates the stories of real people who is seamless and relevant to the chapter topics.

Taormino continues her direct and candid dissection of the polyamourous lifestyle. Taormino acknowledges that jealousy is a normal part of human emotion and that is a feeling that needs to be acknowledged, felt, and dealt with in a positive manner. She also introduces the concept of compersion – the experience of taking pleasure that one’s partner is with another person. This skill, in my opinion, is central to the success of poly-amourous relationships. Some have a natural inclination toward compersion and others have to work at it, this book gives you the tools to develop compersion for yourself.

Taormino puts a personal spin on the practice of poly-amoury by speaking on her own personal relationships. As someone who is practicing polyamoury, the need for resources that tell the real picture of our lifestyle are sorely needed. This book shows that poly-amoury is a valid lifestyle choice, yet not one that should be attempted or taken lightly. Living a poly-amourous lifestyle takes a lot of work and honesty. Tristan’s book is a tool that can help you develop the skills to practice a poly-amourous lifestyle if you so choose. Well written, well thought out and highly recommended.