Opening up - book discontinued by Cleis Press Inc. - review by Kayla

"Opening Up" is a book, written by Tristan Taormino, about open relationships. The book is published by Cleis Press. The book has 346 pages which are divided into 20 different chapters. The book is of average size, but it's definitely thick with all of the included pages. The book takes a bit to read - I'm a fast reader, and it did take me about five/six hours to read through the entire book. The front cover of the book shows two people holding hands, and the back just shows text, so this book can definitely be read in public. The tagline "A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships" might draw a couple interested looks, but you can just claim it's for research if you'd like. I said it was required reading for a class while reading it in public.

Tristan Taormino did a great job with this book. I was sincerely surprised. I've never read some of the other "open relationship how-to" books like The Ethical Slut or Loving More, but after reading this book, I'm actually kinda curious to read them. However, Tristan did a good job of covering the information, so I don't feel like I need further reading - I just feel like I want it because my interest in the book has been piqued. As someone in a monogamous relationship, my reading of this book was purely to understand nonmonogamous relationships better, and the book worked well for understanding my own relationship better as well. After all, it was nice to go home and think about how my relationship would be different if I was in a nonmongamous relationship.

I'm impressed by the scope of this book - Tristan really left no stoned unturned. She really has provided the entire how-to book to wanting to have a nonmonogamous relationship. Confused as to how to talk to your partner? That's included. Confused as to how to talk to your children about your relationship? That's in here too. Tristan approaches all of it in a friendly manner that still easily gets to the "bottom" of the issue at hand. She includes some little exercises/prompts to think about and to discuss with your partner about your relationship. She also includes information about bisexuality, transsexuality, and BDSM with how they affect open relationships. The book also delves into the difference between swinging and long-term open relationships as well.

I was a bit surprised by how big this book was when I received it in the mail. It's definitely a thick book - more like a "tomb" than a regular book. It's three times the thickness of most of my erotic anthologies. However, the inner text is larger than most other text in books, and the margins on the edges of the pages are pretty wide which makes the book look really nice and spacious. There aren't any illustrations, and the entire book is text which is divided into three sections.

Section one is "Choosing an Open Relationship", the second section is "Styles of Open Relationships", and the third section is "Creating and Sustaining Your Relationship". Between these three sections, Tristan covers a whole lot of topics.

In "Choosing An Open Relationship", we learn about why people choose open relationships, some myths about open relationships, and questions to determine if an open relationship is right for you. In "Styles of Open Relationships", Tristan explores the different styles of relationships including swinging, solo nonmonogamy, polyamory, partnered nonmonogamy, and other styles. In "Creating and Sustaining Your Relationship", you'll learn about how to design your relationship (step by step), how to deal with jealousy, common challenges and problems, how to come out about your relationship, how to raise children, legal and practical issues, and having safe sex in a nonmonogamous relationship.

Overall, Tristan ended up making one of the most thorough books on open relationships that I've ever seen. She includes everything you really need to know about open relationships - and she even supplements all of that information with real quotes from the people she interviewed. If you have any interest in having or learning about an open relationship, this book is a great choice.

I still enjoy this book and find it to be one of the best open-relationship/multiple partner relationship books out there. Sure, there's the Ethical Slut, but I really think that Tristan Taormino did a fantastic job, in this book, of making open relationships understandable and achievable for everyone. I still continue to recommend this, and if we ever do choose to go the open route, this will be the book I re-read for more information.