Opening up review

Prolific sexpert Tristan Taormino's most recent offering focuses on relationships which are open to others. If you've ever wondered what it would be like to involve new people in your previously monogamous coupling, this guide is required reading before you start.

After years spent interviewing people in open relationships and observing them in the wild, as it were (at various social and play events), Taormino collected her observations into Opening Up: A Guide for Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships.

Taormino begins by laying out the different possible types of non-monogamous relationships. From swinging to polyamory and everything in between, Taormino provides names and descriptions of the approaches folks have taken to this kind of relationship. I really appreciated this section because it shows that there are almost as many approaches to non-monogamy as there are non-monogamous people. One size does not fit all in open relationships, and those hesitant to take the first steps might find assurance in the fact that there are so many different ways to experience open relationships.

Later, Taormino discusses myths that have grown up around open relationships. She offers advice on how to tell (or not tell) friends and family members of your decision to practice non-monogamy. And she addresses the very important legal ramifications of such matters as property ownership and raising children in an open relationship.

Taormino never suggests that open relationships are for all people or even most people. On the contrary: She points out many characteristics that would make the move to non-monogamy disastrous for a couple. A relationship that features extreme jealousy, lack of time, or serious pre-existing issues will not do well if it's opened. Taormino suggests that these couples take the time to fix their issues first before diving into an open relationship.

I've passed my copy of Opening Up: A Guide for Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships around my circle of pervy friends with great results. If I could mandate that it be read by everyone considering non-monogamy, I most certainly would.