The Bedside Companion for Kinksters

If you are looking for a fun, informative "how to" book on the wonderful world of sadomasochism and D/s, then this is one book that begs to be read. Screw The Roses and Send Me the Thorns has a wealth of information at your fingertips for novices and the experienced.
Published:
Pros:
A brilliantly written,inspiring, fun look into BDSM. A must have for the kinkster's bookshelf.
Cons:
It would be nice to have this book as a hardcover considering its size.
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review
It is a well written, comprehensive introduction guide to SM. The curious, the novice and even the experienced will find points of interest in this book. The writing style is relaxed and informative along with humor and illustrations and photographs throughout the book of how to's and not to's and overall it is an extremely FUN read. The great thing about this book is it sheds light and quashes some of the misinformation out there regarding sadomasochism itself. It's a good book to lend out to a friend who would like to have a little reading material when starting out and my copy has found its way into a few hands. I have just acquired some beautiful rope so I've found myself using this book and practising some rope work.

The book itself is a soft cover, slightly larger than an A4 size so no, it won't fit in your pocket.

It boasts a nice 278 pages' worth of information suited for anyone of either side of the coin and a good read for even a curious vanilla person wanting insight to the thing we call BDSM. There are discussions throughout the book which cover safety issues, ideas for scenes, recognizing good and bad attitudes (all too important in this day and age), finding playmates and most importantly knowing the difference between fantasy and reality.

The first chapter covers the language of BDSM, the basics of what sadomasochism is and is not, roles and the different terms you see and hear along the way. The second chapter delves into the mind aspect and psychology of dominance and submission. The third chapter looks at how one goes about finding people to play with, what kinds of things to look for in a partner and the various sources of contact one can use. There's a great part in this chapter about "wannabes" which had me giggling as the descriptions were brilliantly funny....

VERY MARRIED BUT...
These guys want to cheat on their wives, but lack the courage, so they live out their fantasies by hot chatting on a BBS and phone sex. They frequently lie and make promises they cannot or will not keep. Eventually some of them do play for real, making things worse. They usually forget to mention to their partners that they are married and always forget to mention to their wives that they are looking around.
Favourite sex toy: the telephone

THE CINDERELLA...
Her life is a mess. This is no surprise because she has taken no responsibility for cleaning it up. She is broke because she can't (or won't) hold a job long enough to support herself. She doesn't have or acquire the skills she needs to get a decent job. She has endless excuses for not seeking work or getting the education she needs.... She is waiting for her prince in the shape of a dominant to take charge of her life.

The fourth chapter covers different types of D/s situations from levels of submission. Descriptions of an ideal dominant and a submissive, negotiating, limits, safe-words, contracts, the whole kit and kaboodle. Some of these things work for people, some of these things don't, but the point is they are all there in black and white and give you a good understanding of each topic. There is even a sample contract and a negotiation form.

The following chapters cover areas concerned directly with play... session scenarios, sensation play, impact play, bondage, corporal punishment as well as the realm of mental play, verbal humiliation, mindfucks, exhibitionism, public play. A whole chapter dedicated to pain as pleasure, what flying is, endorphin highs and lows.

And last but not least, a chapter all about where to find play equipment, making your own toys, traveling with toys and looking at creating your own dungeon with all the different types of kink gear you could possibly want and need.

There is a wonderful glossary at the back of the book with short sentences explaining some of the terms you may come across and are unsure about and a good 30 resource pages are included as well and include support groups & organisations, clubs, stores & suppliers and some online resources. This list was compiled in 1999 though so some of the resources may not exist anymore. It covers worldwide connections not just the USA which is lovely to see.

Also a list of recommended reading with some excellent follow on reading suggestions and an index at the back if you are searching for a particular topic in the book.
Experience
The most wonderful aspect of this book is that it's not just written from one standpoint. You get two authors writing about the dominant and submissive viewpoint which makes this book unique to the other BDSM books available for the curious minded. I refer to this book often for little tidbits of information on a regular basis and it's the one book I recommend to people who want to learn about kink in all its glory. You can take what you need from this book in whatever form it may be, but I believe there is something in it for everyone who reads it.
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Comments
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    Impeccable review! Very well written.
  • NuMe
    NuMe  
    Very nice review!
  • Jul!a
    Jul!a  
    Very neat, I've definitely added this to my wishlist. Thank you Smile
  • imp
    imp  
    Most awesome Jul!a glad I could help Smile
  • Sammi
    Sammi  
    This sounds like a good one to get Smile
    Good review!
  • imp
    imp  
    Cheers Sammi. It's one of the books I happily lend out first off to someone who wants to get a little info on the basics and I have gone back to it a few times for bits and pieces especially rope bondage of late haha Big smile
  • Miss Cinnamon
    Miss Cinnamon  
    This is going on my reading list as well! Thanks for the great review.
  • Rockin'
    Rockin'  
    Excellent review. I was trying to figure out what intro bdsm / D/s book to get, and now I'm pretty sure this is it. Thanks!
  • Madeira
    Madeira  
    Great review
  • sbon
    sbon  
    Great review! I think you may have sold me on this book!
  • imp
    imp  
    sbon I am glad I was able to help it's still the first book i grab to lend to friends who are curious about BDSM
  • Miss Voluptuous
    Miss Voluptuous  
    Oh this book sounds so lovely!
  • Miss T
    Miss T  
    Great review! Wishlisted!
  • CandidKinkster
    CandidKinkster  
    Excellent review! I'm currently reading this book and look forward to reviewing it myself when I'm done.
  • Sex'?'Violence
    Sex'?'Violence  
    Great review, I've been wanting to give this a read for a while (it's one of the first BDSM books I'd heard of) Hopefully I'll be able to check it off the list sooner than later.
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