Screw The Roses, Send Me the Thorns review

...if you can endure or even appreciate these stylistic quirks, you will be well rewarded. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is an absolutely comprehensive book on BDSM...This is a book you don't want to pass up.
Published:
Rating by reviewer:
4
useful review
I first came across Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns while abroad, carousing around with a very hot, very queer femme top (sometimes a switch) from Australia who had fortuitously landed in the same small Irish city as myself. Over at her flat one night, with Cabaret cued up in the VCR, we flipped through this veritable tome on BDSM called, you guessed it, Screw the Roses... I remember looking through the flogging chapter and thinking, "Damn, I hope I can find this book back in the States! It's campy, but it sure looks useful".

Campy, indeed. It wasn't just my devilishly gorgeous, queer-as-fuck companion, or even Liza Minelli on the screen, who made the book into a bit of a kitschy experience. Now that I'm back at home with my very own copy, I can tell you that no, this book still maintains all its camp appeal. What's so kitschy about it? Well, there are some phrases, photos, and illustrations in here that just come across as funny, perhaps in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way. Take, for instance, the two excellent and informative chapters on flogging. First of all, one of them is entitled "Philip's Philosophy of Phlogging Phun." Interspersed with all the clear, priceless info on flogging are some, in my mind, silly photos of a man (perhaps Philip or one of the authors?) in a monk-like cloak, flogging a bound and hooded submissive. There are also some musical suggestions for a scene that may make you giggle. In addition, our authors Molly Devon and Philip Miller say things like "keep your darling hot with desire" and refer to subs with terms like "your submissive lady" throughout the book.

All this is to say-- if you can endure or even appreciate these stylistic quirks, you will be well rewarded. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is an absolutely comprehensive book on BDSM and, as the authors tell us on the back cover, "we made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do...But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic." Indeed their sense of humor pervades the book, as does their conviction that BDSM is not only fun, but has the potential to effect profound erotic, emotional, and even spiritual experiences. This commitment makes Screw the Roses... valuable to both novice and experienced folks alike.

Devon and Miller focus throughout on the desire and emotional fulfillment of both top and bottom. This emphasis alone would make the book a valuable addition to your library, as its treatment of sensual modes of communication, scene negotiations, and power dynamics is thoughtful, accessible, and thorough. There is an emphasis throughout the pages that BDSM should be a hot, mutually satisfying chance for fantastic erotic exploration, endorphin rushes, and even (gasp) emotional connection. For instance, they talk about how "dominants strive to understand and control sexual energy" in hopes of leaving their partners "a limp, exhausted, quivering mass of happy flesh." Sounds pretty good, right?

To make it even better, this book is huge and it's crammed with information, not filler. The first chapter is an introduction to BDSM, defining terms and roles. Chapter 2 focuses on trust, communication, and the psychological aspects of dominance and submission. Chapter 3 provides ample advice on finding play partners, chapter 4 deals with negotiation and relationships (with a couple wonderful pages on the authors' ideal dominant and submissive), and chapter 5 provides a run-down on healthier, hotter sexual attitudes. (Like the rest of the book, this chapter is very heavily heterosexist.) Chapter 6 is all about sex and sensation play, chapters 7 and 8 provide a training course on bondage, and chapters 9 and 10 deal with flogging-spanking, and other forms of impact play. Chapter 11, another of my favorites, concerns endorphin highs and tips on how to experience pain as pleasure. Chapter 12 deals with "embarrassment, humiliation and the mind-fuck" as well as exhibitionism, dressing up, and emotional growth. Finally, chapter 13 gives tips on stocking a playroom. Even better, this section includes easy directions to make your own suede cuffs, leather whips, and even a sex sling! And of course, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns ends with an extensive glossary, appendices, and resource list.

As far as that "kitchiness" is concerned? The priceless comics in the "Politics of Very Strange Bedfellows" chapter, about scene wannabes, redeem it all. This is a book you don't want to pass up.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: Mustangsally
    Nice review- this book has now made my "oooh... I want that!" list.

    Great job.

     
  • Contributor: SiNn
    i agree deff on my i want list
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