E-sensual bullet - bullet vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by Dangerous Lilly

I already know that my love for this bullet will not be shared by all of you. I've already seen the comments and know that many people will not like the whole "tied to your computer" aspect of this vibrator.

But for people like me....this is effing GENIUS. Seriously. If you already do a good bit of masturbation at your computer then this is for you. If you don't, then it's not. It's as simple as that. The USB-powered aspect is a niche aspect in the eyes of some but you can't expect a toy to do something it wasn't ever meant to do. It won't recharge via USB because there's no power pack. It doesn't suck that you can't use batteries because the whole point is for those who do like to sit at their computer and jerk off to have uninterrupted pure power. Want a battery-powered bullet? There's hundreds on the market. Want a rechargeable bullet? Still a lot on the market except don't expect any of them to have the power that this little wonder does.

I chose the black PU-coat version because I've learned to appreciate that style over the years. The silver bullets tend to show signs of wear and it can be a wee bit disconcerting that there's paint missing from your toy......(as in, where did it go...)

PU-Coated ABS plastic is nice and doesn't look as "cheap" to me as shiny plastic can. In fact I have some matte-silky-finish silicone vibrators that feel pretty close to the silky texture of these coatings.

It's a bullet/egg.
What IS the difference between a bullet and an egg, really? I mean technically I think that all of them that come close to being the size and shape of an egg should be called an egg, and leave the bullet moniker to the little jobs and the long, slender ones. But that's all semantics.
So yeah, it's a b...it's that shape. It's nothing ground-breaking or unique. But it's exactly what I absolutely adore. I love love using these on my clit (I wouldn't ever put one of these corded ones especially inside me, tugging on the cord too much will kill the toy and they're not really that well made to begin with) and have found that the right ones can be a hands-free experience for me. It's not so little that it won't stay where I need it to and not so big that it's uncomfortable nestled between my labia.

My only gripe about this bullet is the cord and the controller. The cord looked long at first, 42 inches. But in actual use I found that another 12-16 inches would be ideal. A lot of people have tower desktops that don't have front-USB ports (to you I say: Go buy a USB hub at Staples. They're cheap and extend your ports beyond the back of the computer and give you more ports). Even using my hub I had to rearrange things on my desk to get enough leeway. I also disliked how close the control pack was to the bullet. I would have preferred it to be farther away from the bullet by another 8 inches, but that's me. Maybe it's not "plus size friendly". Whatever, so I had to press the buttons through the material of my pants (because no I don't sit here naked). It wasn't a huge deal, but a minor annoyance.

Things this vibrator will not do and was not designed to do:

~Be usable away from your computer
~Recharge
~Use Batteries
~Good for anal play

Things this vibrator is brilliant at:

~Providing the computer-porn lover with never-ending power power MOAR POWER
~Giving pulsating functions that I actually liked. I know. I hate them. I liked these!
~Surprising you with the level of intensity (I actually had to back off and not be on the highest setting all the time. It's crazy!)

Like all bullets, if you turn them to a certain angle and hold it just so, it can get rattly. Otherwise, it's decently "quiet". I could use this in an office setting and be ok. The control pack is a bit odd. The two buttons are arrow-shaped and point away from each other. For the sex toy veteran this is the universal sign for "up" and "down". Except that the "down arrow" does only one thing: turns it off. If you want to cycle through the 3 levels of power and 4 pulsating functions you need to do it in one direction and remember not to hit that other button at the wrong moment.

Otherwise, it's simple to use. You plug it into a USB port. You get off.

If you really like this vibrator and like being at your computer you'll want to drop a few bucks probably and get a USB extension cable (a standard one is 10-feet but I've seen smaller. or bigger!).

Wait. Hold the phone. Literally. Your phone. I just had an idea as I was writing this and remembered that the wall charger that came with my Samsung smart phone was actually an A/C base and a USB-to-micro-USB cable...meaning that the big USB end plugs into the wall plug part, the micro end to my phone, and then it's a wall charger. So I went out to the living room and removed the USB cable from that charger, plugged this vibrator into it AND IT WORKED. It might actually have been a little more powerful, which would make sense. I wouldn't do this method all the time for fear of burning up the motor or something else. Now...I don't know how many of you will actually want to have an electric-powered bullet vibrator. That's a little crazy. Maybe. All I'm saying here is that there are ways to tweak how this thing works. I'm also thinking about how my Bluetooth headset came with this tiny little adapter cable that's micro-USB one end, regular the other, and then plugs into a car charger.

So the list now is: Computer, anywhere with a wall outlet and your car. Score! For me anyways.

It's not waterproof, nor should it be. If you're using your laptop while you're in the tub that's just asking for an accident.

It's non-porous and I wouldn't recommend inserting it; clean up should be easy enough with sprays or wipes. I used a plain, wet washcloth and that worked fine but it's not like I'll be sharing this with anyone.

Storage...you're on your own. A small pouch will do fine.

The packaging is typical CalExotics minus the porn star. It's see-through plastic, it's not at all discreet and the packaging contains all the directions they're going to give you. It's not going to be useful for storage, either.

You don't really need instructions much because it's pretty simple to use. If you would like a laugh, go ahead and pull out the instruction paper. It's the size of two fortunes, and is only a drawing. It's the IKEA equivalent.

This is pretty damn powerful. The lowest setting is really more like moderate on the bullets I tend to like (Doc Johnson Harmony or Black Magic) but it is lovely and rumbly. The sheer power that surges through on the 2nd and 3rd settings might push it a little into buzzy, but it's not surface-buzzy and I didn't get numbed or itchy. Itchy, for me, is the sure sign of a buzzy over-powered vibrator.

The functions are really pleasant. I even used them. And liked them!

1. low (and by low I mean moderate)
2. medium (high on other powerful bullets)
3. high (holy crap)
4. short-short-LONG (2-2-3)
5. moderately paced short pulsing of Medium
6. a weird, hard to describe staccato pulsing between low and medium
7. an uninterrupted, smooth crescendo from something a little lower than low up to high and then starting all over

This is not a couple's toy unless you're creative, employ a usb-extension cable, and bring your laptop with porn to the bed. Which some people do. This is a vibrator for those who like to masturbate while reading hot blog posts, scrolling through their dirty Tumblr feed, browsing the porn tube sites, etc. This is also great for those who like to get off while at their desks and chatting away with someone. I used to do that a lot...home, work, etc. This toy would have been absolutely PERFECT for me when I used to do this at work a lot - because I always always ran out of battery power.