Would/have you ever? Abortion. Private poll.

Morganna Morganna
Have you ever had or would you ever get an abortion?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
No, it's wrong
111  (27%)
No, but I would
89  (22%)
Yes - but I regret it
9  (2%)
Yes - don't regret it
55  (14%)
Eh, we'll see what the future holds.
91  (22%)
Other (explain, please)
52  (13%)
Total votes: 407
Poll is closed
01/21/2011
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Naughty Student Naughty Student
I have never had one.

I might have gotten one if I had been pregnant before now but at this point in my life, I would keep it. I am almost done school and I will be working soon. My partner and I have been talking about babies a lot and we have been stocking up on baby clothes and cribs, etc.

So if I found out that I was pregnant tomorrow I would keep it for the reason that I am more ready now than I was before. If I was just starting off university I would have gotten an abortion.

I have a relative who got an abortion, she got the proceedure done very close to the max date that it could be done. It was very hard for her, and she is still emotional about it now but she did it bcs she couldn't have provided a good life for it bcs of what was going on in her life and where she was at in her life at the time.
01/21/2011
PussyGalore PussyGalore
I do not regret my decision to terminate my pregnancies. 2 AM diaper changes and feedings, teething, colic and exploding diapers is my very worst nightmare. Even though that is the smallest part of parenting and it only lasts for a couple of years, overall I think I am quite the terrible role model. I know this about myself and feel no child should be subjected to the way I feel about the world.

Though, I suppose there is some underlying current of guilt in there somewhere. As soon as my best girlfriends became pregnant I essentially dropped off the face of the earth and only reconnected with one of them after she moved several states away. I'm not a babysitter and I have a very very hard time communicating with children. I've found I am constantly correcting behavior instead of letting them be footloose and fancy-free.

So...yeah. Audra = bad parenting potential.
01/21/2011
Danielle915 Danielle915
I had one a long time ago. It was a bad time in my life and I just couldn't handle a baby on top of everything else. I don't regret my decision at all.
01/21/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
I haven't ever had one and don't ever plan on getting one. That being said, if there were something wrong with my pregnancy, I can always try again. If I'm going to lose the baby anyway, I'd rather have control over when it happens.

Now while I don't personally believe in abortion for myself, I do support a woman's right to do what she wants with her body.
01/21/2011
DeliciousSurprise DeliciousSurprise
I've never had one, and I would never get one--but I do not think it's immoral or wrong, so I chose other.

Just because it's not right for me, doesn't mean it's the wrong choice for anyone else. Why should my choices deem the actions of another as bad or incorrect?
01/21/2011
Morganna Morganna
Thanks. I was just wondering what other people's input would be.
01/21/2011
Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
I had a miscarriage when I was 18, and found out I was pregnant less than two days before it. However, had I known I was pregnant, and not miscarried, I would have had an abortion. The timing was completely wrong, the child wouldn't have had a stable life at all, and would have had a horrible parent, and no father in the picture (I was pretty much done with the relationship by the time this occurred and he was a jerk that never stuck around for any of his responsibilities).

Now while I can't predict the emotional outcome since I never actually had to go through it, I can't say for sure what would have happened. My guess is that I would have known I did the right thing, as I was in no condition or place in life to have a child and I was (and might still be) far too selfish to have a child.
01/21/2011
Not here Not here
Thankfully I haven't had to worry about it yet- but if I got pregnant and wasn't in the position to raise a child, I wouldn't feel bad about having an abortion. I think it's every woman's right to choose, and while it's not ideal to have an abortion, I would definitely do it if I knew I couldn't give a child the life they deserve.
01/21/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
I have, I was 19,dating an abusive JERK, living with him in his parents house, I did not have a job yet, AND he was cheating on me at the time. That was no situation to bring a child into.
01/21/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
No I have never had an abortion or pregnancy at all for that matter.

I think I would have had an abortion if I had gotten pregnant earlier in life because the timing would not have been right. It is my feeling that bringing a kid into this world when you are not ready or appropriate as a parent(assuming you are not putting it up for adoption) is completely irresponsible. But now, in my life currently, I don't think I would have one since I am in a serious relationship, have financial support, and am done with my undergrad.
01/21/2011
~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
Quote:
Originally posted by Emma (Girl With Fire)
I have, I was 19,dating an abusive JERK, living with him in his parents house, I did not have a job yet, AND he was cheating on me at the time. That was no situation to bring a child into.
I commend you for making that decision. I wish I could say the same for my future sister in law. She is 18. Had just gotten out of rehab that she manipulated my boyfriends brother to get her out of and then she moved in with him and got knocked up. They got married and pregnant within a few weeks of each other (and meeting). She has no job, no H.S. education, and not even a driver's license. He is getting deployed and won't be there. Knowing all of this how the HELL is she going to raise a kid on her own when she can't even drive and is across the country from his family? I don't support her decision to have the baby at all. But...it's not my decision.
01/21/2011
gone77 gone77
I have no plans to have kids and if I ever ended up pregnant, I would most likely have an abortion.
01/21/2011
Yoda Yoda
I don't outright condemn abortion, but because of the intensity of emotion that it stirs up, as well as how politically polarized it is, I don't think its often discussed sensitively or intelligently. People tend to pick a side and defend it too militantly, and often they don't truly consider the merits of other people's point of view.

I know 2 women that have had one, and both have since gone through crushing bouts of depression and guilt. This was made worse for one of them, in particular, who has gone on to have 3 successive miscarriages. Needless to say, the issue of abortion is no longer so black and white for these people. I don't think should be for anyone else either.
01/21/2011
Waterfall Waterfall
I have never had an abortion, but I am not sure about whether I would or would not ever have one. I guess it would depend on MANY circumstances and I would need to think about it for a while.
01/21/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I haven't ever had one and don't ever plan on getting one. That being said, if there were something wrong with my pregnancy, I can always try again. If I'm going to lose the baby anyway, I'd rather have control over when it happens. ... More
Agreed. No matter what I would choose to do (or not do) to my own body and pregnancy, I completely 100% support a woman's right to do so.

It does always depress me when I hear of the rare case of lazy women using it as birth control instead of the pill or condoms. But those are the exception, not the rule.

Unless the pregnancy will likely kill me or the baby or it'll be born without, I don't know, a head or something, I wouldn't do it. I've dealt with so many obstacles to maintaining my body's fertility and wanting to be a mother since I was 4 years old that I could never, ever terminate one even if it was unplanned, a result of rape, or likely to be born with difficulty.
01/21/2011
Emma (Girl With Fire) Emma (Girl With Fire)
Quote:
Originally posted by ~LaUr3n~
I commend you for making that decision. I wish I could say the same for my future sister in law. She is 18. Had just gotten out of rehab that she manipulated my boyfriends brother to get her out of and then she moved in with him and got knocked up. ... More
I don't drive, and trust me it makes things damn near impossible. I have to move now, because I can't stand the maintenance and management in this building, and I have to move somewhere within walking distance of both a public school and a grocery store, preferably with laundry included that is not coin operated because right now I am paying like 75+ dollars a month on laundry. On top of that, getting a job and being able to survive off of what doesn't go into childcare? I would NEVER see my kids and we would still be broke. I am looking into childcare subsidies now and for some there is a 1 or 2 year waiting list.

If she broke out of rehab, god knows what is going into that babies system. The possible health implications if she is on anything just increase the cost of raising the baby, especially in the US.
01/21/2011
Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
Quote:
Originally posted by Jul!a
I haven't ever had one and don't ever plan on getting one. That being said, if there were something wrong with my pregnancy, I can always try again. If I'm going to lose the baby anyway, I'd rather have control over when it happens. ... More
This perfectly reflects how I feel about it.

If I had gotten pregnant when I was younger and single - and if I knew I could not provide the level of care for my baby that s/he deserved, then I would have chosen to carry the pregnancy to term and place the baby for adoption in a loving home. There are so many people out there who LONG with all of their heart and all of their soul to be blessed with children, yet they cannot have any through no fault of their own.

And adopted children do not grow up being horribly damaged and scarred either. I have a brother-in-law who was adopted, my best friend from middle school and high school was adopted, and I myself was adopted. We were all cherished by our adopted families.

Ironically, as much as I wanted children myself, I seem to be unable to have any. Yet, if were told I was pregnant now and the baby was definitely not viable, severely deformed (my husband takes a medication right now that causes SEVERE birth defects), or was an ectopic pregnancy or any other type of life-threatening pregnancy, then, yes, I would definitely consider an abortion because the baby, in those cases, would not live anyway and my life would be endangered in some instances (not to mention the extreme mental anguish prolonging such a pregnancy would cause).

And I do believe that, while I wouldn't willingly (or ever even want) to choose an abortion, I believe that other women have the same right to decide what they want to do with their own body. This is a tough topic for me since I personally hate abortion, but I champion choice and individual freedom.
01/22/2011
Crystal1 Crystal1
I never have, and for most of my life I would have said I absolutely never would. But then came that first time I was genuinely worried that I might be pregnant, and actually being faced with that reality can reeeeally make you question things you thought you knew. I still don't think I would be able to have one, but life has taught me to never say never!
01/22/2011
Liz2 Liz2
I never have had an abortion but I have always been somewhat fanatical about birth control. If I did get pregnant, I probably would have had an abortion.

I don't want to get pregnant just now either but I feel very safe with my IUD.
01/22/2011
darthkitt3n darthkitt3n
I don't know if I would. Right now I could not afford to have a kid and possibly give up college, though I do know my boyfriend wants one. I'd rather just keep myself on the pill than have to make this kind of decision without having planned for a pregnancy or something.
01/22/2011
Chilipepper Chilipepper
Choice - What a Beautiful Right

At any rate, I've never had to face such a decision. I've either been in a celibate marriage or on the Pill when active, so I'd prefer to not have to get to such a point. I am not Mother material, and I think it's best that I simply 'prevent' so I won't have to 'correct'. Worse comes to worse, I can look up some oral remedies.

I take my sexuality very seriously in matters of reproduction, and I refuse to be caught flat-footed when there's prevention available.
01/22/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Selective Sensualist
This perfectly reflects how I feel about it.

If I had gotten pregnant when I was younger and single - and if I knew I could not provide the level of care for my baby that s/he deserved, then I would have chosen to carry the pregnancy to term ... More
I'm very fortunate in that had I gotten pregnant at a younger age, my family would have helped me out in any way they could. I know not everybody gets that luxury, but my family supports each other no matter what. My cousin got pregnant when she was 16, had a really bright future ahead of her, and while she wasn't the greatest mother material at 17, her parents supported her and helped her become a better mother. But her parents had committed to helping support her, if they hadn't, she would have put her baby up for adoption.
01/22/2011
LikeSunshineDust LikeSunshineDust
I've never been pregnant, but I'm not sure if I would have an abortion if I did... not because I think it's wrong (I don't think it's wrong), I just don't know what I would do in the situation. I'm very grateful I've never had to deal with that. If I had gotten pregnant a year ago in the middle of pharmacy school, I wouldn't have had a choice but to terminate the pregnancy. Carrying to term and having a baby would have literally ruined my life and the career I was working so hard for. Call me selfish. Now that I'm less than 6 months away from graduation, I honestly don't know what I would do. Having a baby in 9 months would be really tough, but do-able. So for now it's two forms of birth control, no "but"s about it.
01/22/2011
Xavier7 Xavier7
Quote:
Originally posted by Morganna
Have you ever had or would you ever get an abortion?
I don't believe in it. So no.
01/22/2011
Beaners Beaners
I've never been pregnant. And my views on abortion have changed since I started dating my boyfriend, because he's adopted, and I am so, so glad that his biological mother didn't choose to have an abortion. Before now I was all, "Abort that shit!" But now I really think I'd go the adoption route. I don't want to have kids until I'm like, mid 30s, but that doesn't mean I'd automatically abort a pregnancy if I got pregnant before then. However, right now in my life, about to go into the academy in a few months, it is simply not a viable option for me to be pregnant. I just can't be. So I have to say that in my present situation, I would get one, as I really have no other option. But if it was just inconvenient, and not unfeasable, I would go for adoption if I didn't want to keep it.
01/22/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Beaners
I've never been pregnant. And my views on abortion have changed since I started dating my boyfriend, because he's adopted, and I am so, so glad that his biological mother didn't choose to have an abortion. Before now I was all, ... More
Yes - we're all here because our mothers chose not to take the easy way out.

I'm stunned that with the proliferation of birth control that so many abortions are necessary. I understand the dumb-ass teenager thing - but adult women - why?
01/22/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Yes - we're all here because our mothers chose not to take the easy way out.

I'm stunned that with the proliferation of birth control that so many abortions are necessary. I understand the dumb-ass teenager thing - but adult women - why?
1. No form of birth control is 100% guaranteed. Both my brother and I were conceived on birth control. It happens - a lot.

2. Older women who are pregnant are actually more likely to have embryos and fetuses with major malformations and genetic conditions that either are a detriment to the baby's health or their own. Abortions could be necessary to save her life or to keep from birthing a stillborn anyway 9 months later.

3.. Even responsible adult women who tried to prevent it may have to have abortions because they simply can't go through the entire pregnancy to give it up for adoption. It's costly to get OB/GYN check-ups, not to mention the hospital cost for delivery, the new clothes you need to fit into, the extra food you'll be eating, the pre-natal vitamins or medications that may be necessary, the time you'll end up not working because you physically can't do it, the lack of money you'll be making and possibly lose your job, etc. For a lot of women, adoption simply isn't a viable "plan-B".
01/22/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Jen
1. No form of birth control is 100% guaranteed. Both my brother and I were conceived on birth control. It happens - a lot.

2. Older women who are pregnant are actually more likely to have embryos and fetuses with major malformations and ... More
Aren't you glad that even after the failure of the birth control, that your mother chose the harder route - not just once - but 2x? Your story seems like the perfect explanation for why abortion is a bad idea.

All great academic points. But my admitted bias is that if you surveyed women getting abortions most could have prevented them. In 99% of cases abortion is a convenience not a necessity.
01/22/2011
Darling Jen Darling Jen
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Aren't you glad that even after the failure of the birth control, that your mother chose the harder route - not just once - but 2x? Your story seems like the perfect explanation for why abortion is a bad idea.

All great academic points. ... More
My mother fit none of the above cases. She may not have been planning on children at the time, but she did eventually want to be a mother. And she was financially capable of the responsibility and we were not a threat on her physical life. It all worked out and that's wonderful. But there are many cases where it's just not possible. Pretending they can all end up like that is hiding the issue.

And I don't think you can make a sweeping generality that "most could have prevented" needing abortions. I personally have two close friends that have had them and every precaution was taken beforehand to prevent pregnancy and neither could handle one or more of the issues I listed above with going through the pregnancy. And I would really be careful calling abortions a "convenience" because many of the women here who had to go through that at some point in their lives could really be hurt by those words. They'll all tell you that "convenienced" is not what they were feeling at all.

No matter how many imaginary women you think there are irresponsibly using abortion as a form of birth control, there will always be some needing it for a real, tangible reason. That should be enough for us.
01/22/2011
Total posts: 330
Unique posters: 181