Touche Bona dea

Anal balls by Shots media

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Looks so good, hurts so bad!

2/5 Stars. For all the pluses to this toy, it has enough minuses that I can only go to a 2.4 (just shy of rounding up to a three). It will never be amongst my favorite toys, but it isn't the worst one out there, either. I'll update when I've had more time and experience with it (as I am willing to give it a chance to earn another half point or so), but I am a bit disappointed overall. Considering all the positives to this toy, however, I do want to give Touche's toys another chance.
Published:
Pros:
Great idea, great material, very pretty, very quiet
Cons:
High-maintenance, inconvenient bullets, not the safest of handles
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

It's intended to be used anally but can also be used vaginally. It's a little too flexible to be used for strong stimulation against the G-spot, butt will provide some friction—especially with the vibrators turned on. For me, it feels a lot better in the ass (usually with another toy filling my other hole and/or a bullet on my clit). You're definitely going to need to use a lot of lube with this one. You want it to go in smoothly, sure, but more importantly, you're going to want it to come out as smoothly as possible, as well. I say “as smoothly as possible” because the bullet openings at the bottom of each of the beads make for some discomfort. It isn't waterproof, but it is splash-proof and would be fine for shower play. It's fun to use with a partner, as well.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Shower
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal

Material / Texture

This toy is made mostly of silicone (bullets are not) and is therefore very smooth and also quite flexible. The flexibility can be a good or bad thing, depending on your own personal likes. I'd have preferred it to have a little less give; unfortunately, I'd have preferred a lot to have been different about this one. It also has a small fleshing all around it from the mold in which it was formed. This isn't terribly noticeable, but the bullets are very noticeable. Pulling this toy out of my ass was kind of uncomfortable (and not in a way that I liked). On the upside, it is cute and made of food grade material (which makes it very easy to clean). The fact that it has the three removable bullets does make it a little less simple, as you have to remove them all (with the little metal key that is included) before boiling/bleaching/cleaning it (bullets must be cleaned separately, and—to be safe—the batteries removed first). Removal is not really difficult, though; so I can't complain about that too much.
    • Flexible

Design / Shape / Size

This toy excited me as soon as I saw it on the site. In theory, its design seemed almost without flaw. Unfortunately, once you have it in your hand and are looking it over, pondering it...you start to realize that it may not be so well designed after all.
The bullets slip in at the bottom of each of the three beads. This means that there is an opening at the bottom of each bead, and that is not at all a good thing. It prevents a smooth extraction of the beads. Not only is this uncomfortable; it's also somewhat dangerous. The outer-most tissue inside your anus is very thin, sensitive and easily torn. I don't know about you, but an anal fissure is not high on my wish list. Now, there are some nice positive sides to this toy, as well. It's really cute (even moreso in person) and kind of futuristic looking, and the color is lovely. The shape and size are pretty nice. The beads are well spaced and are big enough to be somewhat filling without being too big for most users (though I wouldn't likely recommend this toy to most beginners). It's a good length and has a convenient handle. It is a very thin handle (and—like the rest of the toy—very flexible), which makes it possible to suck in if not careful. For safety's sake, you'll want to keep a finger hooked into said handle.
    • Futuristic
    • Whimsical / artistic

Performance

It feels pretty darn good, I must say. The beads are a nice size and the vibrations are decent. It's okay for vaginal use, too. The push button on/off trigger at the bottom of each of the bullets is not very convenient, though, and they make it very easy to accidentally turn on/off while inserting. Unfortunately, the second time I used it, one of the batteries had already died. The first time I used it wasn't for very long, so I thought that was pretty lame. It takes watch batteries (two per bullet).

While putting it in and having it all the way inserted and vibrating feels really nice, taking it out does not feel so great. This little design flaw really brings down the rating of this toy a lot. A large portion of the wonder of anal beads is jerking them all out when coming. This toy makes that prospect a somewhat frightening one.

Care and Maintenance

This toy's shell (that excludes the bullets) is made of silicone, which gets a 10/10 on the health grade scale. It can be sanitized, bleached, washed in the top rack of the dishwasher, etc. Once you've taken out the three bullets, it's pretty simple to clean. If you're just doing so with water and soap, though, then you're going to have some difficulties getting the cavities (where the bullets are inserted) cleaned out thoroughly. I suggest boiling in a 10% bleach solution, just to be safe. The bullets themselves can be cleaned with soap and warm water after you take out the batteries. It is a bit of a process, all things considered, and takes off about half a point from the rating. Because it's silicone, you can use any kind of lube you want, save for one that is silicone-based. I store it in the original packaging.
    • High maintenance

Packaging

The packaging is fantastic. It's attractive, smart, and pretty economical (minimal). The toy is secured by molded plastic, and there are separate little booklets and an envelope for the key. The booklets are little instruction manuals that include directions in eight different languages (English, Spanish, French, Italian, German, Russian, Dutch, and Polish). The back of the box is pretty informational as well and is magnetically attached to the backing of the box, which makes it possible to open the back panel and take out the instructions without pulling out everything else. It's a handy little packaging feature.
    • Very informative

Experience

I really wanted to like this more than I did. I definitely got off while using it anally (and likely will again), though. It does feel quite good and the vibrations are fairly decent (while being very quiet). The way they have designed it just isn't very smart as far as the way the bullets go into the beads. I haven't thought of a much better way of doing something like this, though, and It does feel good. You just really need to use lube and be careful when removing it or you truly could tear your sensitive little exit hole.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • ZenaidaMacroura ZenaidaMacroura
  • Rank:
     
    5.7
  • Edited reviews: 341
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Comments
  • married with children
    married with children  
    thanks for the review. sorry it did not work out better for you.
  • Shellz31
    Shellz31  
    I so wanted to get this one. Kinda having second thoughts - not keen on accidently tearing when pulling them out. Pretty crazy design!

    Thanks for the heads up on this one
  • MissMandy
    MissMandy  
    It's definitely not a toy for beginners. When I say it could tear, I don't mean anything that's going to hospitalize or anything; I just mean it could leave lacerations and in such an unclean area, you have to be extra careful. LUBE, LUBE, LUBE!!

    You're both quite welcome! I'm happy to share my thoughts/opinions with the fine people of EF. Thank you!
  • ToyingCouple
    ToyingCouple  
    It's too bad this isn't a toy that works as great as it looks. Thanks for the review.
  • Kdlips
    Kdlips  
    thanks for the review
  • MissMandy
    MissMandy  
    Why is this review being so poorly reviewed (comparatively)? What can I do to make it (and future reviews) better?
  • MissMandy
    MissMandy  
    Yay, got a little feedback! Thank you, sloppy donkey. I'll be sure to talk more about size in the future. Sorry for the slight omission this time!
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    I am so glad you wrote this review! I would have never realized the bullets were separate in each bead. That sucks!
  • MissMandy
    MissMandy  
    Doesn't it?! It wouldn't be so bad if it were better executed all around, but it isn't. It's still neat, though. I'm glad you found my review so useful and I so appreciate your vote!
  • JnJParis
    JnJParis  
    So happy we read your review. We were considering this toy, but now not so sure. Couldn't tell from the product exactly how it works but your review explains it clearly. Thanks!
  • bayosgirl
    bayosgirl  
    TY
  • Blooddragon
    Blooddragon  
    Nice review
  • Jenny Smith
    Jenny Smith  
    great review
  • karenm
    karenm  
    Great review, thanks!
  • Tantric Tendencies
    Tantric Tendencies  
    Thanks for review!
  • lovebites
    lovebites  
    thanks for the review!
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