Let me start off by saying that I was so incredibly excited to find that I'd been sent the Touche Bona Dea to review. Not only did the images show a sexy, curvy little plaything, but the toy is made of silicone too, which is a big plus on my list. However, my experience with this toy was far from good. Let me tell you a bit about the toy, then tell you why I'll never use it again.


The Bona Dea anal balls are a beautiful toy, almost sculptural in their graceful shape, like a stem of three burgeoning flower buds. The toy is about eight and a half inches long, with a penetrable length of about six inches (the "buds", equally spaced, are about two inches each in length). The toy I received was crafted in flexible, purple silicone, and the surface was entirely smooth except for one small crown logo on the side of the bud that is closest to the handle. The toy uses three push-button micro-bullets, one in each bud, to set the vibration. While you can turn on one, two, or all three of the micro-bullets, the strength of vibrations are not adjustable.


So there's the flowery part. Now let's get down to the nitty-gritty.


Bottom line: I can't recommend this toy at all. Here's why.


For one, the bullets suck. Each micro-bullet takes two LR41 watch batteries. Each bullet has a total lifespan (time before the batteries are drained) of only forty minutes. In my case, I would be replacing the batteries after one or two lovemaking sessions.


Additionally, because of the placement of the push-buttons, the toy has a propensity for turning on/off as it so desires. I prefer for it to stay on when I turn it on; call me crazy.


Also, the way the bullets are installed into the toy sucks. The bullets are slipped into a perfectly sized hole on the "backside" of each bud. Why does that suck, you ask? Because the bullets don't fit flush with the edges of the toy. What's wrong with that, you ask? Well, lots of things. The first thing (and worst thing I experienced with this toy) is that when you go to remove it, there's no way to pull it out without pulling those sharp, exposed edges of the toy against the inside of your anal sphincter. If you're into the feeling of a sharp fingernail scraping you in a deep, dark place, then hey. Good for you. To each their own. But this is my review, and because I was still sore the next day from my little "mishap", I'm gonna tell ya.


Another lesser problem when removing the toy is that the buds are not evenly "strung" on the stalk, so you can't pull out straight in a way that feels natural, You have to twist and pull at an angle, because the bulge of the buds is shifted to one side. The second thing is that those little gaps leave a not-so-little place for, uh, waste to gather. As you pull out the toy, that same scraping sensation you're feeling is scooping up quite a fun bit to clean up later.


The third thing is that to remove the bullets, you have to use a tiny, wire "key", which only reveals more hiding places for germs. So much for the cleanliness of silicone. The removal of the bullets and subsequent replacement of the batteries was a huge chore, and even if I had liked this toy it would have been something that would have made me use the toy less.